22 February 2008 @ 11:31 am
...I'd like to pretend that whole valentine's day thing didn't happen. IT WAS A VIRUS PEOPLE...I don't usually hit on girls who like like 20 years younger than I am.
05 December 2007 @ 10:03 pm
And now a Christmas message from me.  
 ...I love christmas as much as any other guy, But when you're fighting Deadite elves and a demon Santa...that's really taking the crap outta things...

Why can't I have a normal christmas for once..well I used to have 'em...I think, I do remember wearing a Turkey costume one Christmas for a play I did at school and a whole bunch of people chased after me...come to think of it I think THEY musta been Deadites too! Well whaddya know...

I kinda miss spending Christmas with my folks and my sister, But this whole "Chosen one" gig means I kinda can't...and Sis is kinda dead anyway 'cause, Yup you guessed it I had to hack her up a few times.

Oh well, Happy Holidays all.
Current Location: Outside S-mart
28 November 2007 @ 11:02 pm
...Tee hee...10% discount off Eggnog @ S-ma-s-sssss-maaaaaart~!  

Twelve somethings drumming
Eleven somethings piping
Ten somethings a-leaping
Nine somethings dancing
Eight shotgunonmybacks a-milking
Seven cabins a-shooting
Six chainsaws a-sawing
Five bo-o-o-oobs
Four deadites
Three boomsticks
Two hot chicks
...and a s-mart in a something

[Ash decided to get himself some eggnog before the christmas holidays started, have fun kids. XD]

Current Mood: silly
26 November 2007 @ 12:54 pm
[Locked against Ash]  
So, someone care to clue me in as to why there's a weird gentleman with my dashing features minus the moustache and a arm on the community...? 
Seriously - I only had one other brother and he's dead. He's the reason I became a thief in the first damned place...

But if anyone can clue me in about this Ash guy I'll make it worth your while, 5 Gold pieces and..maybe a diamond or two? Actually..I'll hang onto those - The diamonds I mean.
Current Mood: cranky
09 November 2007 @ 02:13 pm
What exactly happened to ya Ash ol' boy?  
Man, I need to get laid - All these lovey dovey couples...makin' me remember how good a thing I had with Linda when I did...Then Sheila, wow she was the last lay I actually had and that was like... *Counts fingers* ...Possibly - I'm thinking...A LONG time ago!

Geez...It's not like I'm a virgin I know what the hell I'm doin' I guess I jus' put alot of girls off because of my missing appendage..c'mon Chainsaw arm doesn't exactly say "Gimmie some sugar baby" now does it? Then again...

I sound desperate don't I?

God I'm desperate how come the chicks on this community are so freakin' tight -.- Some of 'em need to wind down.

[OOC - Strikeout may be hacked.]
Current Mood: aggravated
02 November 2007 @ 11:06 pm
[Recovering from the virus]  
Alright Padres, What the hell happened...a few days about I was back in that damned cabin, re-living my worst nightmare...again. Everything seems normal now but still I'm more than a little freaked out about this whole situation...

Heather, Oh God! Heath' Kiddo!? You alright?!

Aw maaan this does not fair well in the trying to have a female friend whodoesn't get slaughtered or posessed by Kandarian demons scheme of things I can tell ya that.

Maybe I need to slip off somewhere to cool my jets?
Current Mood: anxious
07 October 2007 @ 11:48 am
Somthin' just occurred to ol' Ash...

Captain America...?
Peter Parker...?

Those names sounds kinda familuar to me for some reason Not to mention a Doctor Doom, Someone wanna help me figure this one through because I have no idea why I recognise those guys from somewhere.

OOC : Yes I'm referring to Marvel Zombies Vrs Army Of Darkness incase you're all confused.
Current Mood: confused
01 October 2007 @ 07:41 pm
Shit, Shit, Shit.  
So I'm back. How you ask? Nice pair a breasts and some nice blonde hair by the name of Jo - Thanks sweetpea couldn't have done it without you. Well maybe I could have done but that would have taken longer and I'm kinda lazy...

I'm thinkin' sooner or later I'm gonna have to go back to that cabin - I'm pretty sure some of the bad voo-doo is still there kinda like some big huge mouth in the center of everything letting the bad out? Make sense to you? Probaly not...

Nobody got hurt while the other me was in charge did they? 'Cause like -- I'm majorly sorry and I'll try to take better control next time it happens Not that, THAT was the first time it ever happened.

Thanks again Jo.
29 September 2007 @ 11:50 pm
Members of Drama Drama Duck  
Why haven't you surrended your souls to us yet?!
26 September 2007 @ 03:51 pm
It's good to be the king....  
...I...I'll swallow your souls...Swallow your souls...Swall-- it looks like my boastful oaf of a host managed to collect some intresting friends along his journey...It's a shame they'll suffer the same fate as every other person he's ever come into contact with...you all look so delicious...yes, So many souls, So many POWERFUL STRONG souls...


Oh and you may refer to myself as Evil Ash Prime...it's best to do so that way I can guarantee you'll suffer less as you join my legion of dead slaves. Yessss there's nothing quite like the excrutiating agony of rebirth is there?

(OOC : Strikeout not readable to those who aren't able to make contact with Ash's "good" side)
Current Mood: devious
24 September 2007 @ 04:58 pm
Linda, I wish we could talk...  
Uh..I know it's taken me a long time to get around to doin' this and I know last time I saw you it really didn't go all that well....

I just wanted to say takin' you to the cabin, everything that happened, cutting off your head -- well...

I'm sorry

(This was supposed to be locked to Ash's journal alone but seeing as he isn't really livejournal savvy I decided it can be a community post, Reply to this as you will.)
Current Mood: crappy
Current Music: "If everyone cared" ~ Nickleback
20 September 2007 @ 04:31 pm
Do I know how to pick up chicks or what?  
So...Scarl'? Dinner with me sometime? Y/N? Infact screw that - No's not a option. I'm takin' you out somehow...

Be there or not be there? Your choice baby.
Current Mood: flirty
14 September 2007 @ 01:15 pm
The biggest WTF of my life.  
Wow, That Youtube place? Ya never know what ya gonna find here...I just came across this, Whoever's idea of a joke this is it's not funny...The complications of my life are not music-video material, Damn bastards I'm gonna gut the guy who made this.

Come get some. )
13 September 2007 @ 03:15 pm
Could the hot chick known as Scarlet let herself be known to one Ashley "J" Williams...I was wondering if I could perhaps have the honour of knowing such a fine-ass piece o' woman by taking her out for dinner and maybe a dinner afterwards...

Don't worry I'm leaving the Necronomicon at home. So none of the weird shit comes after us.

Of course that doesn't mean any other lovely ladies won't be turned down if they wanna go out with me, Who could blame 'em I've got the charms, the wit, the chin...Who needs Chuck Norris when I'M available?!
Current Mood: horny
09 September 2007 @ 01:15 pm
Back to basics ya primitive screwheads.  
What the frack people? I come back off my lil' trip to weenie-world or whatever that stupid place was called and I come to find this? Tch...Just what exactly happened? I read over a few posts and it seems like whatever was supposed to happen to me happened to you guys instead...Wow.

Not my fault I assure you but if it is, Then I suggest you take all your frustations out on that lame excuse for a fun dairy refreshment - namely Shake. Seriously guys I don't trust anything that looks like it came straight from a cheesey Disney movie with enchanted objects and singing and shit

Now I suppose I can get back to the norm right?
Current Mood: cynical
24 August 2007 @ 09:01 am
Alright you primative screwheads, Listen up!  
Ok so I take it some of you guys aren't willin' to accompany myself and Sugarbaby to Weenie world which suggests two things...

a) You're all wimpy crybabies who need to go running home to your momma's
b) You all think I'm crazy. Well we'll see who's crazy when deadites take over the world and you wake up every single frickin' morning to a unheavenly chorus of "JOIN US!"

This is your last chance guys it's either kill or be killed...and the king ain't going down without a fight I'll tell you that much. If I run I'll never be free of the bastards who took Linda and Sheila away from me.

Whatever you choose make sure it's the right choice alright?

(OOC - RL is now open, hop on over to Ash's journal at anytime ok?)
Current Mood: cranky
Current Location: A internet cafe somewhere near Weenie World
20 August 2007 @ 09:46 am
I gotta get this out before anything else happens.  
Ever get the feeling something's not right...? I don't remember much from my child hood, but I always knew something wasn't right. Wherever I went bad things happened. Didn't matter if it was at home school or even the public toilet. There were always evil things that no one else seemed to notice...

Things didn't get any better at school either, Teachers didn't like me and I wasn't exactly the most apt pupil...Had a thing about books at an early age. Didn't like them and they didn't like me. High school was a nightmare from start to finish didn't help that my prom date carrie, had some sort of seizure during the chicken dance...

And when things went bad...they went REALLY bad. Of course everything always came back to that damned book, I don't know why but when I see that rag I get the feeling it's been following me throughout my life wherever I go.

Anyway kids...I have something I need to do and well I don't usually ask for help, I tend to work alone unless 'Baby or the deadite midget shrimp's hanging out with me...So if anyone can get to where I am at the moment feel free to...Ever heard of "Weenie world"? 'Baby seems to think there's some massive cult following of the hotdogs and as unbelievable as it sounds...I ain't gonna question a hot cajun babe with magical wang.

Any help is much appreciated. Just make sure you know how to handle yourself incase you're attacked by deadites...

1) DON'T GET POSSESSED. I refuse to help ya out if you do...I don't particulary feel like hacking any of you bozo's up if you can't manage to prevent that from happening.
2) Don't touch any of the weenies...'Baby says there's something in the hotdogs that are turning people into deadites.

So who's with me?
Current Mood: discontent
Current Location: Somewhere near weenie world
09 August 2007 @ 10:54 pm
Aaaaaaaaaand we're back in action  
...Doncha jus' love the way those bastards deleted their post with their annoying crappy song so it'd look like they were OBVIOUSLY guilty about this whole community shindig?

Freakin' bastards I wonder wht they were up to?
05 August 2007 @ 01:15 pm
Come get some.  
Alright, I'm not gonna lie about it, I'm frickin' horny as hell...Can ya blame me? Every woman I've ever been with dies somehow...Linda got posessed by Deadites, Sheila's stuck somewhere...dead, Sally - Tch Luckily Sam was there to distract me...frickin' Deadite Midget, God bless the little people.

So anyone feel like givin' Ash some company, I promise I'll make it worth your while. Dinner and a movie maybe? No chick flicks, I hate 'em. Just you, me a couple of Double Cheeseburgers and a frothy strawberry shake sound good to anyone?

...Just don't tell Sugarbaby.
Current Mood: horny
29 July 2007 @ 11:24 am
Stop me if you've heard this one before guys but...  
Ok, Necronomicon I understand you like fuckin' 'round with me but.. )

...The hell? Seriously There's some smarmy actor guy out there taking my handsome psyique and stunning good looks...and publishing crap like this? That's just messed up. even more messed up than that night with the three chicks the midget and the anteater.

Alright Bruce? Wherever and whoever you are I think you need to meet my good friends Mr Boomstick and Loud Rusty Chainsaw. Seriously, This whole thing screams lawsuit waiting to happen.

Current Mood: cranky