15 February 2010 @ 04:22 pm
I told Benny about the virus and we tied a string to each other's index fingers for the day. The nurses were not amused but I told them not to break it. It was "destiny" after all. They figured it was a healthier way of expressing our feelings for one another than murdering crazy fucking demonologists, so they let it go. (For the record, neither Benny nor I killed anyone. But, insanity plea. Gotta keep up appearances.)

Thinking about breaking out for the fuck of it. Thoughts?
Current Mood: accomplished
09 February 2010 @ 07:09 pm
I found out that if I look at a person a certain way they start speaking in tongues. I'm like the fucking Necronomicon except without being read. I can just do shit. This is amazing.

So, who else here is crazy? Like, really crazy, not the crazy that I said everyone was where you were delusional about the community. Just insane. Mad, off, you know, amens, sed numquam amens satis.

Because, to be honest, a lot of you seem pretty fucking loony right now.
Current Mood: bored
26 January 2010 @ 06:05 pm
finally, harry can be reasoned with!  
I'm not supposed to be at a computer, but it's not like they can stop me. I'm pretty sure none of them want to stop me. I think one of the orderlies saw me and decided that I shouldn't be here, but then I told him I could be and he believed me. Aren't you supposed to disbelieve crazy people? What the fuck is with that?

Only four of the four thousand species of cockroaches are actually considered household pests. Fucking weird to think that everyone hates an insect that really isn't a pest. Most of the time. Some, none of the time, really.

Getting ahead of myself. There's a man here who thinks aliens come to him every night and suck out his fluids. It's fucking ridiculous that there are people out there that actually believe in that crap. Like the ones who think Satan's talking to them, or whatever. As if he would bother. I've seen the edge of the world and know things I probably shouldn't. I think I'm OK, though. The insanity plea was only so I didn't have to deal with more lawyers than I care to, but don't get any weird ideas. Then again, you guys are the masters of weird ideas, huh?

I should probably apologize for not believing you before, about the worlds and things like that. I've seen them all, or a few of them, because probably not all of them get what we get here.

I tried to search the internet for cpclrpacjes but they didn't have anything on it. So I might have to write a book on that. But I'm kind of stuck, for now. Benny and me, I mean, we're stuck. And by the way, my ex-girlfriend was a psychopathic bitch who killed my brother and sold me out to that high-priest demon bastard. They made an ugly couple which was pretty par-for-the-course, when you think about it. She got hers, though, so. And Johnny's dead. I was dead too, but I guess that's beside the point since I'm alive again. Or alive now. I'm not sure, Benny likes the "now" but I think I was doing pretty well before this bullshit.

Have you ever heard a cockroach sing?

((OOC: ....Um. Just... go with it. He's through his canon now.))
Current Mood: crazy
24 January 2010 @ 06:37 pm
[VOICE POST] - backdated to about 11PM, Sunday, NZ Time  
[Harry sounds like he's been through the wringer. His voice is hoarse and he's speaking at a normal tone, though it sounds like he wants to not be overheard.]

Well, since all of three of you were even interested, I thought I should give everyone who cares to listen a little update. That video I posted, asking for help with, you know, that thing? Yeah. Fucker decided to throw me in the back of a van and shoot me up. I don't know where the fuck they took me, but when I came to I made damned sure to get the fuck out of there.

[Yeah, he's pissed - more at himself than at anyone, but he's taking it out on the community. He grumbles under his breath, then continues sarcastically,] So, thanks a lot for not even getting me a damned Wikipedia entry on the guy. If you don't hear from me again, then maybe he broke into my house and murdered me and my girlfriend.

((OOC: Sorry for the spam, there'll be... 1 more post tomorrow and then Harry will be through his canon. For those of you that don't know the canon (read: everyone), the guy who was on that video he linked before kidnapped him and chained him up and was going to... do something awful or something, but Harry managed to escape. Nobody even believed him about it :( His life is super hard right now.))
Current Mood: pissed off
23 January 2010 @ 03:10 pm
[video embedded post]  
You know, there's nothing I like more on a lunch break than to get my hands covered in pig's blood while handling the fucking mail. Given the situation and the nature of this community, I figured I should post this here and see if any of you know who the fuck this character is.

[INSERT VIDEO HERE of something obviously recorded off of a VHS tape. The camera is shaky at best but it's definitely focused on one figure: a bald, creepy looking guy who's talking to what looks like a congregation. "They say there's no such thing as a soul; they say that all we are is flesh and bone - they say we are animals, animals grovelling in the shit. They say all these things... They fucking lie! Your teachers, your parents, your priests, they all lie. Like this fool, this... Dr. Harry Ballard. But we'll show them the truth, won't we? We'll show them the power... The dark power from demon [life?]!"

The howling and caterwauling goes up a notch as you see a man writhing around, probably "possessed."]

You see, the kind of shit I get mailed is usually death threats on paper, not on tape. The thing's about a year old, too, it looks like, so it's kind of a pointless threat. Still, he's not a cult leader I know, but maybe one of you people does.

((OOC: If you guys prefer visuals, the clip is taken from here, from 3:35-4:37, ignoring Harry's interjections. This is canon-move number 1 of like... 3 total, to be done in the next day or two. (It's a fast canon.) After that, Harry should be more open to the idea of world-hopping. (: ))
Current Mood: annoyed
30 December 2009 @ 10:26 pm
[accidental video post, backdated a few hours]  
[The video shows Harry at a desk in what's obviously his home. He's pouring over books and paperwork like he isn't less than an hour away from New Years eve (or, you know, on break.)

A blond woman comes into view, behind Harry, and leans over his shoulders. She says something to him, but it's impossible to make out what she's saying. Harry mutters and shrugs her off.] In a minute, I'm in the middle of something.

[She huffs and walks off. After a moment, he leans back and pinches the bridge of his nose.] Christ, this is gonna be the death of me. [He pulls a book towards him and sighs.

The video cuts out.]
Current Mood: exhausted
21 December 2009 @ 07:45 pm
So, let me guess. You all believe in Santa Claus, too?
Current Mood: amused
11 December 2009 @ 01:42 pm
If one more fanatic tries to throw goat intestines at me, I swear to God...

Now that I'm done with that delightful presentation on the trials and tribulations of examining the inner workings of "new religious movements" and Power Pointed my way through another dozen sympathizers and psychoanalytical critics, I can settle down and finally tell you all exactly how I'm feeling about this place.

You all need a lot of help. Since I'm not a trained psychiatrist and have absolutely zero interest in helping you all overcome whatever issues you have that allow you to believe... whatever it is you believe this community is, don't expect any sympathy from this corner. Just know that there are several exit counseling programs available in almost every country, and that deprogramming is a valid option in extreme cases. I don't have a Messiah complex, so you can learn how to work your preferred search engine in case you actually want to look into it. I doubt it, though.

In sum: I'm sorry, but you're crazy. Don't throw intestines/urine/feces/blood/dead animal carcasses at me and/or my compatriots and look for some help.

I'm going to go lie down and pretend I don't know what the inside of a goat smells like.

((OOC: strikes = typed then deleted. You are literally not going to be able to convince him DDD is actually... capable of anything, JSYK. No, not even world hopping will convince him.))
Current Mood: exhausted
06 December 2009 @ 12:03 am
Everyone who was saying that as soon as I accepted that I was stuck here, I'd be able to go was completely wrong. I used a workaround link and got my damned tickets ($2,711 down the drain) without ever saying to your little "sentient" community, "Hey, I'm staying, it's okay!"

Of course, after four days of dealing with nutjobs and colleagues, I'll probably be glad to come running back to you crazy kids.
Current Mood: smug
04 December 2009 @ 08:59 pm
Oh, that's all right, it isn't as though I have a conference I need to book airline tickets for or anything. I'd much rather spend my time on Livejournal, looking at a bunch of kids talking about Christmas and making absolutely bizarre video posts. This goddamned computer needs a virus software update, I'm taking it.

I guess this'll have to pass the time until Norton's finished updating, though. So, what is this, then? A rant community or something? Because if it is, let me tell you, I have about thirty different things on my mind right now that I'd absolutely love to unleash on you poor technologically-savvy scriptkiddies. We'll get back to that point when I find a workaround so I can actually do my job.

How about one of you get me the cheapest flight listings from Wellington, NZ to NYC while we wait for Norton to figure out what this goddamned website's done to my browser. Either that, or one of you can go give a paper on sacred spaces for "new religious movements." Damned PC bullshit, you call an apple an apple and a cult a cult.
Current Mood: annoyed