07 May 2009 @ 06:13 pm
Pretend I'm not late with this, k?  
This whole...people not dying thing? Yeah, really could do without it, thanks. I mean, I'm glad I'm not going to fall off a truck and get bitten by a dog and trip and fall and die, whatever, next patient, enjoy the headstone. But, you know, what if everyone whose supposed to be pushing up the daisies get a game over after all this, insert coin. I mean, could be worse, they could become zombies or start eating people's brains or whatever, but, you know, kind of fucked up. Just walking along, minding your own goddamn business, and then all of a sudden that penny off the building from last week kicks in and you die halfway through an ice cream sundae. Well, okay, not an ice cream sundae, too many calories for the people out here, I don't know, use a fish taco instead.

On like, the third hand here? Kind of hard for a producer to get pissed off at his mistress and then shoot her in the head and go get a new one twenty minutes later. That's always fun to deal with, trust me. You know, fun like a root canal with a hangover chaser.
 
 
15 March 2009 @ 04:01 pm
 
Hello, my name is Harry Lockhart, and I swear, I'm not an alcoholic. Those kind of meetings? Not my style. I'm just minding my own business, having a nice day on the internet, trying to avoid the porn this time, and what do you know, I get stuck on this place for an hour. Does anyone here now the number for tech support, the kind that doesn't reroute to India first? You know, it'd just be really, really helpful right about now, before I get attacked by the flying pop ups.

Fuck, hold on, I had something else to say, I can't believe I fucking forgot, it's like I have dementia or something.

I remember now! Okay, so, does someone named Gay Perry post here? I mean, he clears his google cache like a machine, so I wouldn't know, and yes, I know I could just walk the three rooms over but you know, broken internet, need to fix. And no, the name isn't ironic, just in case you were wondering--

Right. So. Nice community you have here. Am I allowed to say "fuck" here?