09 May 2008 @ 02:39 pm
Do people just randomly touch babies as if they're at a bargain sale? Honestly this elderly woman came up and pinched Jack's cheeks as if she was trying to pick out fresh vegetables. Luckily for me, she has five months tops before she has to go to the hospital and replace her hip and then she's Perry's little problem. But, dear god, if one more person touches my son as if he is common property, I will seriously, seriously have to inform that they're both wearing the same underwear and the circle of life will continue and to get the hell away from my raisin bran. 
01 May 2008 @ 10:08 pm
Dear GOD Perry. I go to France, and help me, I found less fruity men there than when I came home to your smiling face. Funny, your porn tastes have become more and more distasteful. I’m glad you’re exposing our son early, so that when that time comes I don’t have to take him to my very special friend, the gynecologist to inform him that he does, in fact, have a penis and that everything he knows about sex is wrong.

Anyway, I found out that you said that I had met someone. Believe me Perry, if I found anyone else that cries after sex like you do, I’d be ecstatic to know and meet them. But, if you ever think that I do not give a shit about Jack, you have another thing coming-- I thought you knew all about sarcasm, but I guess that Princess has to tell you something about it.

Oh, by the way, for all you other people, I’m Jordon “Yes I keep his last name for the alimony checks” Cox. Not really nice to meet you, but I figure at one point, I’ll be telling you that you have made a horrible mistake with your life and telling you five different ways to try to get laid in WOW.