23 August 2012 @ 01:01 pm
[When the feed cuts on the viewer treated to the sight of an all too familiar redhead, sitting behind a chaotically kept desk. The numerous monitors and the green light caused by the gross use of Mako energy flooding in through the window blinds gives the otherwise dark space a creepy kind of ambiance.

Reno, for his part, can be seen acting almost predictably…sleeping behind his desk, completely unaware that he’s surrounded by what looks to be an infant’s wallpaper.

Unaware until three men dressed in blue military uniforms enter the room to disturb his sleep…god why are these grunts always disturbing him?]

(Soldier 1): Reno! Why the hell are you napping at a time like this?

(Soldier 2): Don’t you know terrorists have just attacked Reactor #01

(Soldier 3): Heidegger’s been screaming for the Turks, you should move your ass.

[You gotta know how irritated he is, Reno shows it with a dismissive wave of the hand and an enthusiastic:] Not all at once.

(Soldier 1, 2, and 3): What’s with the ducks!

(Soldier 2): Are you getting soft.

(Soldier1): Did a two year old sabotage your computer?

(Soldier 2 and 3): You let a two year old compromise the company?

Did I say not all at once? I meant shut up and get out.

(Soldier 1): But what about the ducks?

Not my department, if you’re worried about it go talk to Hojo or Reeve.

[Clearly the prospect of talking to Hojo inspires a terror that's almost palpable.]

(Soldier 1): …

(Soldier 2): …

(Soldier 3): …

[This awkward silence would be good if it was just silence and since someone has to do something, Reno levers himself to his feet, brandishes his E-Mag (it looks vaguely like a truncheon), and points to the door.

With clear authority:]

AVALANCHE is blowing shit up, Heidegger is screaming, and the ducks are planning a hostile take over! What are you standing around here for? Move! Move! Move!

[And like good soldiers they hurried out of the room, bumping into one another on the way out leaving Reno to his sweet solitude once more.]

Stupid pigeons…it’s too easy…[now it’s your turn ducks]…hostile take over. You’d better be, otherwise I’m going to lose my cred with those guys.

[ …Now what was he doing again? Oh, that’s right, he was about to take a nap…

…G’night ducks.]