10 November 2012 @ 09:49 pm
video feed - open  
[the feed turns on to show a skyscraper in the middle of New York city ... the name emblazoned at the top is just visible in the evening dark, but slowly lights begin to come on from the ground up, in sections. chunks of floor light up, and finally the name itself flickers on:


Cut for transcription length, because, well, Tony talks a lot. And Pepper talks a... little. Comparatively. )
11 September 2012 @ 12:21 am
[the feed picks Tony up leaning in to peer at the screen, scowling faintly. he pauses to take a drink from the glass Dummy's so kindly holding for him, then scowls a little more]

... Pepper...? Pepper could you c'mere please. I need to ask you something very important.

You know.

About my stuff.

The stuff you apparently deleted.
04 July 2012 @ 09:39 pm
[Video | And PARTAY at the Stark Penthouse]  
Cut for length )

18 January 2011 @ 10:21 pm
[ all responses will be video ]  
Who has two thumbs and a new weaponized armor suit?

This guy does.

Check it out:

not cut icly )

[ still recording, he sits still in the suit in front of the camera and speaks through it, voice all digitized and iron man like, enjoy that. ]

Yeah, it's pretty cool. Fifth installment in what will hopefully be a long line of Iron Man suits. Portable, sleek, efficient. If it wouldn't seriously damage the goods, I'd probably pop a boner in it.

You can continue being jealous now-- Oh, yeah. My Expo is in like a week or two. I guess I should advertise that at some point. Consider this your invitation.
22 December 2010 @ 08:13 pm
Okay, I'm not going to name names, Nena and/or Michael, but whoever on this community has been attempting to access my system and by access I mean gently violate JARVIS-- it's not going to happen. Keep this up and no one gets presents. You will ruin Christmas and Claire Lou Who will weep little midget tears. Can you handle that on your conscience? Can you?
12 December 2010 @ 02:21 am
The Stark Expo is coming up so I don't have time for this Christmas whatever. So if you want something, ask and maybe if I like you enough, you'll get it.

PS. Yes, I have an Expo, no it's not all about me (sadly). Keep bitching to a minimum.
20 November 2010 @ 12:24 am
Oh my god, okay, so like, I went over to Tony's place to bug him 'cause we don't have any good food here since someone always eats it before I get to it, which is totally lame, either that or they put it on the top shelf and then laugh at me when I try and get it, just 'cause I'm the shortest!

Anyway, I got there and he got all excited and gave me a video camera, and...

cut for gif )

My big brother has the lamest sense of humor ever. He's probably still doing it, too, I handed the camera off to Feldt after like ten seconds! She's his daughter, she's like, obligated to laugh at his jokes.
17 November 2010 @ 11:09 pm
forward dated 2 hours.  

I have several children for sale. Come and get them because hell knows that I'm too tired to bother raising them.

☑ feed them, clothe them, let their mother see them/pet them/hug them etc...
☑ keep them together. They have older brothers named Tony, Dante and whatever the other oldest one is called.
☑ they'll bring life/happiness/add to the labor force etc...
☑ Bella and Willow - are being kept.
☒ if you're dumb, you'll put Kamina and Minatsuki in the same room.
☒ if you're even more dumb, you'll put Kamina, Renji and Minatsuki in the same room.
☒ they're devil children that get you kicked out of Sunday mass because someone decided to get into a huge fight with the person in the pew in front of us.
☒ Minatsuki is going to pick on anything with a heartbeat. Just say "thank you and you're really sweet", it messes her up.
☒ If a guy named Jacob shows up to see Bella, backhand him or throw a stick stick at him.
☒ keep buying Nena stuff or a cat will show up on your door.
☒ if someone named Shiro shows up at your door, just spritz him with water.
☒ did i mention they were devil children? because they are.
☒ no returns
☒ no refunds
☒ sucks to be you.

Any takers?
12 November 2010 @ 08:10 pm
[lmao html fail, i rule on 3 hours of sleep :|]  
I'll give any of you $20 to put a decent virus on that second rate piece of shit [livejournal.com profile] hammeroids calls a computer.

I'm sure you're saying, "Hey Tony, just do it yourself," -- I would, but golly, guys, I sure do feel bad making him constantly aware of how superior my technology is to his. And to most of yours too, actually, so consider this a blessing from me to you. You have my permission to prove your worth. Take him down, get some cash, we don't have to hear him go on about ducks, everyone wins.

[ ooc; i'm gonna take one hell of a nap but when i get back i'll be all over these hea tags :') and i'll be getting my post from yesterday too, aw yeah ]
11 November 2010 @ 10:43 pm
I've got a fucking cold.

[ derp, ooc note: he's actually suffering minor palladium poisoning, which is giving him cold like symptoms; he knows what it is, he just doesn't want to talk about it. ): ]
01 November 2010 @ 11:31 pm
1. I have a stalker. She's outside my front gates. Too bad she missed prime opportunity to live up to something awesome on Halloween. You know, get a mask, breathe on my windows or something.

2. I got a cease and desist from the government. How many people can say that? Awesome.

3. I've been watching zombie movies and I'm pretty sure I'm one of the few people here who could actually survive an invasion. Prove me wrong.
24 October 2010 @ 05:35 pm
[ anon; hit by 'gluttony' or the sin of never being satisified. ]  
Do you ever feel like no matter what you do, it just isn't enough?
17 September 2010 @ 02:40 am
the best matchmaker ever.  
So, ladies of the community.

I know some of you are single and no, restrain yourselves, I'm not asking for me. I have a ... well, he's not really a friend-- There's this guy, Merlin. One of you needs to spend a special night out with him. You know, dinner, star gazing, I don't know, whatever you do on dates.

I really know nothing about him so I'm going to make stuff up. He likes aviation and reading poetry. He's probably emotional, so if you're looking for a sensitive guy, you got it. His favorite color is blue and he's a cat lover. He collects... Shoes. You can shoe shop with this guy.

C'mon, the guy's a virgin and has never been on a date. And before you refuse, maybe my friend Benjamin Franklin can convince you. Apply within, I'll be screening each girl myself.

Disclaimer: He's horrified at the thought of touching tits, so don't worry about it being creepy. I'm 200% sure there will be no sex involved.
16 September 2010 @ 12:06 am
Magic. Flying brooms. Guys, really?

Though, he alcohol wasn't half bad though.

Speaking of, I intend to celebrate not being prepubescent by being very drunk. So if I leave you any kind of incrimnating message I suggest you just ignor e it because I don't mean it.

Well, I might mean it. But I don't really know a lot of you. How do I evne have your nummbers? I probably don't. I should post this on the company message board. Listen, my AI might talk to you if I so you should just be nice to him because he's just doing his job because ... yeah. Just be good.

His name is JARVIS. Guess what it stands for.
09 September 2010 @ 01:29 am
Call it not entirely sober curiosity, but how many of you are under 20?

(If you're over 18 and at least a D, here's my number. I prefer blondes, but I don't discriminate. No strings attached. Save the lectures, I'm not desperate, I consider this charity.)

[ ooc; only his public number has been given out, feel free to troll it as much as you want 8) ]
27 August 2010 @ 12:59 am
open rl/action spam/lazy log post thing yeahhh.  
[ well, tony has been drinking. and drinking a lot. all day. and there are noises afoot, it's dark outside and he doesn't like this. also, he may be a little sunburnt. whatever. ]

Did you -- did you fucking hear that. [ a suspicious pause, ] I heard something.
05 August 2010 @ 08:51 pm
1. It's shark week.

2. I'm a superhero.

You're welcome.
27 June 2010 @ 10:30 pm
Wow, talk about a bust. Cold bed, hangover, yelling assistant. I've seen better parties.

Tell me you had a better weekend.
27 June 2010 @ 10:27 pm
[ anon; untraceable ip, unknown world source. account name is random generated numbers. ] [1/2]  
ooc; best be prepared for the initial introduction of iron man. )
20 June 2010 @ 02:12 am
So, a guy can't take a little trip to the Middle East without getting taken off the invite list for the charity event he's apparently hosting. Given, there was (is?) some gray area there with the phrases "stocks crashing" and "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder" being thrown around so-- So liberally that it's just flat out offensive.

There, I said it. Offensive. I'm offended.

So, friends (can I call you that yet?), to crash the event of the year or to not crash the event of the year, that is the question.