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dramadramaduck2011-06-15 06:02 am
lone-defender.livejournal.com) wrote in dramadramaduck2011-06-15 06:02 am
015 - [video] - impromptu exposition
[Oh, hello! Look who hasn't been around for ages. She's thoughtful as she sits at her desk, and her gaze is distant, as if she's remembering something.
Judging by what she says next, she probably is.] I've crossed more realities than I want t'count, I've been all over two universes--seen ghosts and Daleks and war and actual real nightmares come to life. I guess I probably even faced the Devil. It was scary sometimes...terrifying. I've seen realities that are completely unexplainable. I saw the Earth die, and I've watched universes just...dissolve into nothing, and the only thing I could do was jump out before the darkness took me with it. I've even died a few times. Not as big a thing as you'd think, actually.
[He gaze drops to her hands, which fidget with her fingers as if she's heavily debating continuing.] But there was once...this one universe I visited worse than all the others. Worse than anything the Beast or Daleks could do or say...and it never really happened. Not technically.
There was this...bubble universe that formed around a paradox a very important woman once created on accident...just by turning right instead of left. It was the last reality I went to on accident and...[She chews her lip a moment] I've never felt so terrified, so hopeless as I did there. The...Doctor was dead. He'd--he'd drowned in an event that never should have happened, and the Earth fell to pieces without him. Even with UNIT and Torchwood and everything I could do, millions and millions died. The TARDIS...she grieved and slowly just...faded away and I couldn't stop it. [There are tears welling in her eyes as she speaks, but she clenches her hands into fists to hold them in.] Everyone and everything I cared about burned away. Sarah Jane...Jack...none of it should have ever happened, but I saw it all. I lived through it...and then I had to send away an innocent woman to die to fix it...because the darkness, it was still coming and I couldn't stop it.
[Her gaze finally turns to the camera, and a few tears manage to slip by when she continues, voice softer than before.] That should be the worst part. It's not. The worst part...the most horrible moment of it all...that was when I first made contact with UNIT. The jump was imprecise because of the shape of the distorted universe, and I landed in a room inside UNIT HQ instead of the entrance. It was...one of their research labs, and they'd kept the Doctor's body. I hadn't meant t'go looking, stumbled across it on accident...but--[one of her hands clasp over her mouth, and she suffers visible effort to maintain her composure before she continues.] They couldn't even be bothered to bury him. He saved them so many times and they couldn't even be bothered to bury him. They just...he'd drowned saving their lives and they wheeled him into a room like a novelty.
[She takes a sharp breath and reaches up to brush away the tears from her cheek and eyes.] I...still can't get that image outta my head, and I don't know why I'm even saying this. I'm not--
I really hope the Doctors are too busy t'be reading this today.
Judging by what she says next, she probably is.] I've crossed more realities than I want t'count, I've been all over two universes--seen ghosts and Daleks and war and actual real nightmares come to life. I guess I probably even faced the Devil. It was scary sometimes...terrifying. I've seen realities that are completely unexplainable. I saw the Earth die, and I've watched universes just...dissolve into nothing, and the only thing I could do was jump out before the darkness took me with it. I've even died a few times. Not as big a thing as you'd think, actually.
[He gaze drops to her hands, which fidget with her fingers as if she's heavily debating continuing.] But there was once...this one universe I visited worse than all the others. Worse than anything the Beast or Daleks could do or say...and it never really happened. Not technically.
There was this...bubble universe that formed around a paradox a very important woman once created on accident...just by turning right instead of left. It was the last reality I went to on accident and...[She chews her lip a moment] I've never felt so terrified, so hopeless as I did there. The...Doctor was dead. He'd--he'd drowned in an event that never should have happened, and the Earth fell to pieces without him. Even with UNIT and Torchwood and everything I could do, millions and millions died. The TARDIS...she grieved and slowly just...faded away and I couldn't stop it. [There are tears welling in her eyes as she speaks, but she clenches her hands into fists to hold them in.] Everyone and everything I cared about burned away. Sarah Jane...Jack...none of it should have ever happened, but I saw it all. I lived through it...and then I had to send away an innocent woman to die to fix it...because the darkness, it was still coming and I couldn't stop it.
[Her gaze finally turns to the camera, and a few tears manage to slip by when she continues, voice softer than before.] That should be the worst part. It's not. The worst part...the most horrible moment of it all...that was when I first made contact with UNIT. The jump was imprecise because of the shape of the distorted universe, and I landed in a room inside UNIT HQ instead of the entrance. It was...one of their research labs, and they'd kept the Doctor's body. I hadn't meant t'go looking, stumbled across it on accident...but--[one of her hands clasp over her mouth, and she suffers visible effort to maintain her composure before she continues.] They couldn't even be bothered to bury him. He saved them so many times and they couldn't even be bothered to bury him. They just...he'd drowned saving their lives and they wheeled him into a room like a novelty.
[She takes a sharp breath and reaches up to brush away the tears from her cheek and eyes.] I...still can't get that image outta my head, and I don't know why I'm even saying this. I'm not--
I really hope the Doctors are too busy t'be reading this today.
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Are you alright? All of that... it sounds so horrible. I can't.. I can't even imagine. I'm sorry.
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I'm...I just...try not t'think about it. Still see 'im lying there though, sometimes. Still hear the way the TARDIS' engines creaked and coughed sometimes as she faded. S'just...the part they don't tell you about traveling the universe.
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I don't think they can prepare you for something like that.
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Nothing can.
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