18 December 2011 @ 04:27 pm
Okay, Community! Quiz time!

Who is the absolute best cellist in, you know, the entire world?

Answer: Yo Yo Ma.

Who will be playing at the Senate Christmas Party this year? Go on, guess.

Answer: Yo Yo Ma.

Who is an underpaid, over worked secretary under the thumb of a bloody-minded political dictator who has the ability to get her tickets to the Senate Christmas Party at which Yo Yo Ma will be playing?

Donna. That deserving, deserving angel is Donna. Don't let Josh get away with this, community! Your vote counts!

Yo Yo Ma is awesome.
11 December 2011 @ 12:12 pm
[Backdated to Thanksgiving. Yes, really.]  
[Oh look. Another White House Video.

In this one, the president appears to be performing the tradtional Thanksgiving Turkey Pardoning. Only. In a hallway. For the second time. Until he stops in the middle and Donna, sounding heartbroken, pipes up.]

You can't pardon a turkey?

[And everyone -- the President, the Press Secretary, the kid from the turkey place -- stops to stare at her.]

Full (hilarious) video under cut )
17 October 2011 @ 02:12 pm
So, whose world has Halloween? It's coming up here, and the president is in fine form. He just read a book on it, I guess.

I now know more about Halloween than I ever wanted to. Ever. If I hear the words "Salem Witch Trials" ever again, I'm going to burn someone at the stake.
04 July 2011 @ 01:09 pm
Okay, community! Who here knew that Thomas Jefferson and John Adams both died on the 4th of July, 1826? For extra credit, go ahead and tell me why the date was especially significant, and Adams' last words.

Come at me, guys. I've been getting it from the President all morning.

By the way -- Josh is doing great! He's still in the hospital, but the doctors say his recovery is going really well and they're even letting him do some telecommuting. I'm a little worried that if his blood pressure goes up, though, he might just tear his chest open again. I mean, it's Josh.

Happy Independence Day.
24 May 2011 @ 01:09 pm
[The video flips on... It's Donna. She's sitting in a hospital waiting room with no makeup, looking exhausted. Through a window behind her, it's clearly dark outside, and there's a clock reading "4:02" behind her.]

Hey Community... I guess you all saw that news report from our world.

The President is fine. He was hit in the stomach, but he's okay. He should be waking up soon.

Josh... The bullet collapsed his lung and hit an artery. I guess there's a thing they usually do that won't work here so they have to repair it by hand. It's gonna be another few hours or more before they know anything, but I'll let you know. I know he has a lot of friends here.
02 May 2011 @ 02:06 pm
This may not come as a surprise to you, but no matter what Josh says, Mandy isn't the only one who's "wound a little tight" during polling windows.

He's also not in charge of morale. If he were, maybe he'd finally take me to Hawai'i. Or Yap.

Moral of this story, ducks: Stay clear of Mr. Lyman for the next 48 hours.
02 March 2011 @ 01:54 pm
[Backdated to yesterday.]  
[It's Donna. It's Donna at work... nothing unusual about that, right? Except that another secretary comes by to leave some files, and Donna -- what's that? Are her feet up on the desk? ...Yes, yes they are. And she's smacking gum. Not even a moment of acknowledgement when the file is dropped off.

Yet another secretary pokes her head out from the other side of the bullpen.]

Donna? I need Josh on a call with Toby at three. Can you reschedule his meeting on the hill?

Sure, Ginge. Whatever.

[And Donna swings her feet off the desk and spits her gum into her hand before... sticking it under her desk? And then going to type.

Completely ignoring the bottle of sanitizer beside her keyboard.

Welcome to the White House, ladies and gentlemen.]

[OOC: Donna is effected by the Band Candy plot. Donna, Ginger]
27 January 2011 @ 07:48 pm
Tomorrow, the President of the United States gives the State of the Union. I've got about sixteen hundred post-its on my desk reminding me to remind Josh to pick a guy. You might not know this, but while the rest of the government gets to watch in person, one lucky member in the line of succession has to wait outside the building. In case it blows up. My petition for myself was, I felt, unfairly dismissed.

Garfield and Harrison are the only two presidents never to give State of the Union addresses. Neither was in office long enough.
24 December 2010 @ 05:41 pm
[Donna is sitting in what looks to be an airport terminal -- yes, at 6:30 on Christmas eve. Through the giant plate windows, the video shows small flakes of snow falling on an airplane. Her legs are stretched out and crossed in front of her as she sits in the tiny seat, reading what looks to be a very old book. Her forehead is creased as she flips a page, but then she flips back to the front and begins to smile again. It looks like she might even be tearing up. She closes the book and holds it to her chest for a moment, then deposits it gently in her bag just as a blurry voice comes over the intercom. She grabs her phone before crossing to the boarding line.]

Merry Christmas, everyone.

[OOC: Book is her present from Josh.]
01 December 2010 @ 02:17 pm
[Donna is standing in a hallway, surrounded by shouts of "We did it!" and "We da man!" In the background, people are high-fiving, and -- is that Josh chest bumping someone?]

This is just gross.

[Josh tells her to wait, and she sighs, turning her attention to her cell, which is currently recording for the community.]

Seriously? The amount of male bonding going on in this place is absolutely nauseating. In about twenty minutes they're going to start composing odes to each other's epic manliness. Oh, hold on. They're back.

[She flips the phone closed, but it keeps recording as they walk through the halls of the West Wing toward Josh's office. The video is steady, but the audio fades in and out.]

It's a maintenance crew.
The banging?
They're working on the floor above your office.
Peyton Cabbott Harrison III.
Peyton Cabbott Harrison III. It even sounds like he should be a Supreme Court justice.
[The audio fades, then comes back.]
Peyton Cabbott Harrison III. Jewish fella?
You're not gonna ruin this moment for me, Donna.
I'm sharing this moment with you! You da man.

[And, as they enter Josh's office.]

Nothing bad is gonna happen this week!
Exercise cautious optimism.
Look, there is no reason --

[And then the ceiling falls.

No. Really.

Chunks of concrete. From the ceiling. Onto Josh's desk. He stares at the mess, brushing dust from his shirt.]

Well... okay.

[ Donna, [Josh.]
05 November 2010 @ 03:25 pm
[Accidental audio]  
[Josh's voice comes first, followed by Donna's.] Where's the Madison stuff?
We're getting it.[There's the sound of something hitting a wooden desk, and then]
Donna, it's twenty minutes. I need it faster.
We're working, Josh, but honestly the computer files are pretty antiquated.
[He sighs heavily.] Yeah, alright -- wait, what?
I said that the computer files are pretty --
They're antiquated. They're antiquated.
What's wrong with you?
Would you tell the President I'm ready to see him at his convenience?
You're sure?
[It switches to video as Donna returns to her desk. Her tone is still irritated, but she has a pleased smile on her face.]

You know, community, it isn't my fault there are Mangrove Forests in the Everglades.

[OOC: Donna, Josh.]
20 September 2010 @ 09:29 pm
[Backdated to yesterday]  
Agent Booth? I have that information you requested on the Idaho situation, would you be able to contact me? It's time-sensitive.
19 September 2010 @ 09:35 am
Well, that could have gone a lot better.

You guys are really falling down on the job, here! When I told Donna that I had a job to do and she would have to come with me if she visited so late at night, I thought she would know already what that meant. Wasn't that the whole point of being open about being an assassin? Mr. Lyman and Mr. Booth were talking to her out of lock, I thought they'd have warned her in lock.

Oh well.

I guess next time I'll just have to explain more clearly. Bringing random pretty girls on assassination jobs isn't nearly as much fun as it might sound.

[Failed Lock to Tira]

Tira, honey, can we talk?

[OOC: Aftermath of this!]
18 September 2010 @ 11:09 am
[ 1 WPM]  

I can’t be 100% certain, and I know what they say about assumptions, but judging by the fact that the ducks on this website are yellow, rubber, and apparently quite dramatic, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that this is not the Department of Agriculture report Josh was looking for.

This isn’t as bad as it looks. I’ve done some research, and I think I can safely say that this isn’t my fault. I say that a lot, but for once it’s even true. What I need is for you people to say that, especially to this man. Aim for a soothing, steady tone. I find it helps to practice. Try it. “This isn’t Donna’s fault.”

Oh. I’m Donna, by the way. Hi!