dramadramaduck | (no subject)

(no subject)

It has come to my attention you're all not little fuzzy things anymore, which means I can't ~~cook you.~~ Take care of you in my wondrous pet hotel. Well, I could I suppose but it'd be a bit more difficult.

Do you know how many people I had to kill in order to clear out that entire building so I could use it for my own? A lot. Thanks. But we're straying from the point! Turn back!

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Something tells me you would have killed those people regardless.

Something tells me...

No you're right.

Don't suppose you could turn into something small and fuzzy?

Sorry. I'm not planning on turning back into a cat anytime soon.

We could get you a little pillow with your own little name on it!

Ignore the large stew pot.

Tempting, but no.

Pets don't have to be fuzzy.

Nah, I have a wig shop I need to keep afloat.

Me Grimlock no turn into little fuzzy thing.

Practical in your mayhem, I see.

Well you know what they say, "Don't kill something you don't intend to use to further your plans for the future." I think.

You could turn into one now, might be fun!

We don't say that--it's understood.

Like slag me will! Me rather be stuck as squishy T-Rex again!

..Maybe you don't.

T-Rex?

..Can I ride you?

Yes T-Rex.

NO!

What building?

Ah come on! Where's your sense of adventure?

Oh, just some inn.

What having squishy on back have to do with adventure?!

Well we could have all kinds of fun! Think about a fire shooting T-rex!

Frag fire. Me shoot energon-blasts.

You killed people in it?

Lots and lots. The whole building full of them in fact.

I still have some of the prettier skulls, wanna see?

I'm afraid you're the sort I really can't forgive, then.

I wasn't asking. Maybe you misread that.

I have skulls, want to see?

Hm...You seem a bit dead, so I guess it wouldn't count at murder, really.

Well undead, want to hear my titles?

You don't seem like the fun loving type.

I really don't care about the self-aggrandizing titles of villains.

My fun is a little different from yours, my ugly friend!

I am Richard! Chief warlock of the Brothers of Darkness, Lord of The Thirteen Hells, Master of Bones, Lord of the Undead, Emperor of Black, Lord of the Dance, Emperor of Ice Cream!

Oh? So say instead of gutting out the father of a household, hanging him over the door with a banner that says 'welcome home from school, kids!' and then watching them cry. What might you do?

Richard? Hardly an imposing name.

I steal from and punish men who enjoy things like that.

..Yeah thats why all of that other stuff is there. Don't focus on that.

Bah, spoilsport thats all you are.

I think you have an active imagination, my friend. Silly titles like that only exist in fairy tales.

The hell you'll cook me!
Wanna come and see how my machine works from up close? Like, from underneath one of its feet? Or maybe a tour of the furnace...

Are you actually complaining about killing people?!

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