i have never been so happy to see my aolcohol cabniet in my whole life - i told you i ahd to make up for the weekend didn't I?

i know you dont give two shits whether i update you on my sex life or lack thereof tonight but i hate it when you wine and dine andbring them home and they pass out before it gets fun. its like when you open your presents on christmas (thad t you dad never actually got, thanks man) only to have it break when you open the damn box. but i'm not here to ashare storeies i'm here to ask... nevermin i dont remember. joirnaling is a dumb idea.

anyway, i'm fucking bored enter tain me and os hselp me if you lecture me on how fucking drunk i am i will not hesitate to remind you how much i dont care, keep your dirty morals toy yorself thakn you i have my own.


{ooc; alcoholic get. for those of you sensitive to the subject, this post will probably be him being not only an alcoholic but an intentionally mean one so I ask you not to read if you feel you might be offended or triggered by it at all. ♥ ;3; I'm sorry!}

Alright, just to let you know Dante, I'm going back to the Makai on Yuusuke's world. Seems that no one is really coming around the store anymore for me to bother! So, being the charitable lady that I am, I won't.

Hey kid, do you know if the gang has been behaving themselves over there? They know what happens when they have fun without me ~

Seeing as I'm bored, how is everyone? Sol and Vergil don't count, mainly because they're constantly set to "grumpy" or "lets kill Trish's fun" - in both cases it's a literal translation.

OOC: This post is no longer relevant

To the community members, I have, I believe the term is a "hypothetical question".

Would you risk betraying those who trust you and have started to become....your friends in order to join or re-join a tyrant's elite forces to overthrow him from within?

((ooc: Strikes hackable with extreme skill))

I was told we all had to dance with death one day. So I'm curious, what dance do you suppose is performed? The foxtrot, the waltz, or something a little more lively? And does death lead or follow? I prefer the tango myself, but I'm not sure the skeletal depiction of the reaper is graceful enough to keep up.

In case we've missed our weekly "joke at half of Harvey's Dent face", here it is:

To avoid Swine Flu, do not look at half of Harvey Dent's face. Be sure to quarantine him to prevent the spread of the flu from person to person in Gotham.

For those that are unaware of Swine Flu, it is a pandemic that spread of flu symptoms when man comes intact with swine. In Baconface's case, he's the prime festering ground.

This has been brought to you by Bass Industries.

Ah, hello again everyone. Some of you might have been wondering where I've been the past...several days. Well, it's a bit of a long story, but in short (haha, I made a joke), I got hit by a meteor on my wedding day (sorry, Nancy), grew to 49-feet-11-inches tall,  destroyed the church, and am now currently locked in a super secret facility, and I'm not allowed to leave.


I miss Derek.

For those of you who have only recently joined and haven't gotten the attention of one Chuck Bass for whatever reason, I think it's time to have another "Chuck Bass has lots of STDs" community post.

As of this post, Chuck Bass is known to have contracted:

• Herpes
  
• Syphilis
  
• Chlamydia
  
• Gonorrhea
  
• Trichomonas
  

Test results for HIV/AIDS are still pending.

So, if you end up deciding to have sex with Chuck Bass - or, in some people's cases, if he decides for you by giving you copious amounts of alcohol and preying on your emotional instability - please, for your safety and others, remember to wear a condom.

This friendly PSA has been brought to you by Waldorf Designs.

Just to clarify from the post below. If Chuck Bass has a disease that was passed through pleasures of the flesh, that means that Blair Waldorf has it too because she likes her virginity taken drunk, strippered out and in the back of a limo.

As of this post, Blair Waldorf is known to have contracted:

Herpes

Syphilis

Chlamydia

Gonorrhea

Trichomonas

That pregnancy test is still pending.

If you do want to have sex with her, make sure she has sex with your best friend first. She loves to play dirty.

Brought to you by the kind people of Bass Industries.

Geez! Jasdero, why didn't you tell me about this place before? These people are fucking riots. I swear, it's like watching a train wreck without all the work.

So what do you guys do here? Besides touch each other and tell boring life stories, of course.

I think that, for the good of all the proper women who occasionally - and by occasionally I mean constantly - get hit on by Chuck Bass that I should fill everyone in on a little secret of Chuck's. No, not how he lost his virginity.

See, the problem that I have with Chuck is that he has this little crush on me, and he keeps hitting on women in order to try and write it off as just another fling. If you have brunette hair, or good fashion sense, or happen to be a little on the bitchy side - yes, I'm admitting to it! I do have a bit of an attitude problem sometimes! - he might set his sights on you in order to help heal the gaping wound I've left in his heart.

Please, I know it's hard to resist his charms and all, but you have to do it for your own sanity and wellbeing. Believe me, having a Bass in love with you is the one thing that will make your life a living Hell. They're manipulative, arrogant, mean, will backstab you the second you say you're not interested, and they also have no sense of what really pleases a girl anyway, so the sex won't even make up for it.


You want a war, Bass? Let's play Vietnam.

I think I should let everyone know why Blair Waldorf is so obsessed with me. So, let me tell you a story about who she is really.

Once upon, there was a social queen that had all she wanted - save the touch of her boyfriend. The spark was dying, he had slept with her best friend at a wedding, and in the end they had to call it over. Depressed and wanting to get drunk, she stumbled into Victrola, a very reputable burlesque club on the Upper East Side. It so happened the owner was there to provide his friend solace with champagne - but she wanted more. So, B got on that stage and stripped for all to see. When the owner got her off his stage, in nothing but her slip, he was going to take her home before she started to climb all over him and they had sex in the back of a limo.

Then, the next night, it was her birthday and she was left to stand alone while the humble owner brought her all she want and they hooked up. Behind her boyfriend's back - now taken her into his inner circle again because he "made a mistake", the owner and the fallen queen slept around until it so happened that on the debutante's ball, she "lost" her virginity to her boyfriend. Even then, she continued to sleep with his best friend until it so happened that one day she thought she got pregnant. She let her best friend take the fall and let the entirety of New York city think she was pregnant. Then she was outed that she had two men between her legs in the span of almost three days.

So, I ask you, how much of a slut do you have to be for Chuck Bass to reject you?