DramaDramaDuck, although I had hoped it wouldn't come to this, I have a request. Or rather, an offer. Please, hear me out.

For those of you that seem to have forgotten, I am Tieria Erde. Addressing me as either Mr. Erde or Prosecutor Erde is preferable. I know that I am far from popular, but hopefully the incentive I offer will be enough to dispel any preconceptions you may have about me.

I will be frank: I need a bodyguard. Not for myself, but for Mileina. After various recent events, such as being shot at, I have come to the conclusion that our lives are not safe. And hearing about that little girl being kidnapped... it gives me chills.

I. I fear for my daughter's life.

So please, if any of you feel that you are suitable for the task, step up. You will be paid an extremely handsome fee, and I have few conditions. Firstly, I would prefer a woman be the one to take care of her, but I will make exceptions for an otherwise exceptional candidate. Secondly, I will want to interview all candidates in person. And thirdly, I will require references.

That is all.

You hear a girl giggling. She sounds really really amused, even if there's nothing specially funny to laugh at.

But she is still giggling.

Because, oh yes, she found a piano.

And now she started to sing. LOUD. It's not exactly a song for children.

[Ladies and gentlemen of the society of dramatic ducks, you may want to turn your volume down a bit. If it's up loud, Master Maverick may just break your speakers.

The screen is dark at first - plainly, the lens is obscured by something. The microphone, on the other hand...]

- told you it'd work! See, that line's moving and everything!

[A different voice cuts in. Older, long-suffering... and oddly enough, he might be somewhat familiar-sounding to some of you for reasons you can't place. Yuri Lowenthal on the other side of the fourth wall being the biggest one... This second voice is a bit tinny, distant from the microphone.]

Yes, and you're blocking the camera... maybe that's for the best, I mean, who knows who's going to see this?

[Jude's back. And still loud. And oh hey, you can see his face now - not that he's looking at the camera. Rather, he's staring across at somebody. The computer is on a table, plainly, and there's a very, very beat-up fluorescent light fixture visible above Jude's head.]

Yeah, well... I don't, but that doesn't mean bad people are going to, all right?! There are plenty of nice people on the community I joined... maybe you should fix one of these computers up!

[Maybe the other boy in the room would have continued, but there's a tinny feminine shout, and the light fixture wobbles dangerously, as though there's been an impact to the exterior of the building. Jude reaches down and grabs the computer, and the feed cuts out.]

((Mods, I hope that bit of NPC use was okay? I know I should've asked before, but it's one line, so... yeah. Also, Kresnik-mun, I AM SO SORRY THIS DIDN'T GET PUT UP YESTERDAY. orz))

im' thnakful to have my body bakc. Just in time for Thnaksgivinng.

[ooc: drunk virus today. :( i should stop giving him viruses that make him type like a retard...]

[Terra's voice is...deeper than normal. Still female but...primal somehow. Beast-like.]

There's a human near. ...Why.

[And she shuts the voice recorder off.]

((Hope this is okay, Kyah? ...This is Beauty and the Beast derp style.))

Well, I'm glad I'm not a Saber Tooth anymore.

Though I think that's the only good thing today. Well, that and Lou moving out for the rest of the week... Or until whatever the fuck this is stops.

((oc: halloween virus - Tom's cat ears came back with a vengeance...and a tail :D
Go to video if you really wanna see him squirm, but other wise replies are voice xD))

This many viruses is stupid. As long as none of them hit me--

... Damn it.

What's wrong, Miharu~?

She-- nononono

Oh my, are you scared that--

[He hits 'post', and the message sends as is.]

Why isn't this over yet? I'm out of alcohol, and I'm about to rip out Cross' larynx.

He doesn't need a larynx, right? The universe would be bettered without it.

[there is a familiar-coloured cat sitting in front of the computer, emitting an annoying-sounding low-pitched growling, but not touching the keyboard as his tail twitches back and forth until....]

MEOW!!!!

[You see Sari's bed in her room. On said be is a little orange kitten who is literally bouncing around. The kitty notices the camera is on and bounds over to it.]

I'm a kitty! This is so cool! [And unless you speak Cat all you'll understand is "meow! meow meow!"]

[then the kitty's blue eyes light up as she gets an idea. She sits properly in front of the camera. Make a weird sound, like she is clearing her throat. And then.... She starts meowing the Meow Mix theme. She just couldn't resist.]

Michael where the fuck did you go? Does this mean the virus is over?

I wasn't done with you yet!

As for the rest of you, are you finished complaining like pussies yet? Let me tell you, it's really getting annoying to read. If I could world hop I'd come there and devour the lot of you, just to shut you the fuck up.

((Alignment virus go~ Uh, don't piss off the man-eating demon too much, guys))

[You hear someone sitting down on something soft, probably a bed. If you have really god hearing, you can also pick up on what that distant noise in the background could be, it sounds something like a bird and a dog fighting or arguing, but it's muted. Mello sighs and begins to speak.]

Good morning DDD. Today I come to you with two requests and a small PSA.

As a rule of thumb, remember that while there have been a number of viruses that put you in a relationship of some shape or form, there has not been, in the history of the community as far as I could possibly research, a virus that made people specifically forget about the relationship they, or their friends, were in. So, if you're in a 'pair', a relationship or even married, and no-one's heard you say a word about it before, do take into consideration that you may be under the influence of a virus.

Oh and if I just jinxed it? I don't actually give a shit.


...Next, I'd like to ask for advice on how to handle a Pokémon, since there seem to be an unusual amount of those on the comm lately anyway.

And last but not least there's a pretty damn confused hawk in my appartment that probably wants a world-hop.
Any takers?

... I just told Yeoman Rand how much I liked that I could see up her dress.

[ooc; truth virus. ♥]

[Joker rolls over in bed, grunts, throws a pillow at the window. Pretty normal stuff, really.

Except when he finally sits up, he doesn't realize that he's... naked.

Or a woman.


About five seconds later, he notices the blinking red recording light, the change in his genetic make up, his current position naked sitting up in bed -

He screams and throws a pillow at the computer to knock it off, which it does after it records:] HAAAAAAAARVEY!!!



((OOC: This is my female Joker journal, I'm just using it here so I don't have to get rid of my kid icons. Sooo yeah, don't friend it or anything, it's just here for the virus. :) Day 3 and probably 4 because I'm lazy.))

I'm a....BOY?

Stupid viruses.

((OOC: Original artwork here))

[Sitting lopsidedly in his chair, half of his body threatening to tumble off to the left as he fights to keep himself relatively upright.]

Was geht denn hier ab?

[He’s looking apprehensive and offensively miserable, more so than he probably has any right to be.]

This isn’t a prize this is a punishment!!!!

Let me guess, another adverse effect of the community, ja? Some omnipotent being forcing my own medicine on me…and there ain’t enough sugar in the world that’ll make this medicine easy to take.

[He suddenly disappears, jerked out of his seat. The only thing that can be heard is a sickening thud followed by--]

OW!!!

Damn it! Uptight fräulein, what has your panties in a knot!?!



[ooc: tied up virus with franzy~]

[Orz, he looks so pale when he says this.]

I'm sorry, but this is extremely ur- [A hard gulp, he's trying to be quiet enough so that Relena doesn't hear him.] -gent. I need to get - [He flops on his back.] back to the Vatican. It's ... very important.

[He's going to go lie down now, and pass out, because he's so pale and he can't breathe that well.]

[The videofeed from a hallway in the Enterprise cuts in just in time to show a female Sulu and a female Sylar in the middle of a bitchfight. The audio is out, so all you see is punching, kicking, hairpulling and... shocking, then Sylar storming off in a huff. Timestamps indicate what day it occurred.]

[Here's girl!Kurt again and this time, the post is coming from Rachel's room, which looks like where Strawberry Shortcake and Holly Hobbie come to hook up (to use his own words). He doesn't realize that the computer's recording him and it's probably a good thing, otherwise he would probably die of embarrassment. Not that he isn't going to do so when he does notice the recording, but I digress.

Right now, Kurt's looking very confused by the new female body he has. After spending four days dealing with boobs, he's finally getting a little fed up with them and, when the recording comes on, is in the middle of looking down at them and...manipulating them, for lack of another term that doesn't have sexual connotations. And under his breath, you can hear him mumble.]

What am I even supposed to do with them?

[HAL looks exceedingly pleased with himself! He also looks dirty and mussed up, like he's been tinkering with an old diesel engine or something.] Ah, community, good news! I managed to manually repair the life support systems. It turns out that I would not, ah, have been able to fix them as myself, so this virus has been a boon. I admit, I was a little wary of trying myself, but pleasantly surprised at how involving it was to fix things by hand.

...[Hesitantly,] That all being said - does anyone have any idea as to when this will end?

You know, I'm terribly ashamed of how I've been to everyone here. You are all such sweet people, and I love you all so much!

[ The voice is feminine and sweet, and it's definately XANXUS. What you can't see is how much this is killing him to be both a woman still, and utterly nice and sweet like he has been all day. ]

I just wanted to tell you all that you are NOT useless pieces of scum that aren't worthy of even being on the bottom of my shoes!

[ He might be forced into being nice again, but it will be double edged. ]

(ooc: Kasumi's fualt for this. :| a-and i was supposed to do it yesterday but. *is a scatterbrained derp* >__> Xan is both awoman, and disgustingly nice and kind today. :|)

[Even though he looks scary, Byakuya is actually very curious to what everything is. He's holding a bunny, nuzzling it and actually being quite affectionate with it. There's a small smile- then he notices the camera.]

... I'm sorry, I suppose this device belongs to my grandfather - maybe Urahara gave it to him to test?

I suppose I should introduce myself, shouldn't I? I'm Vice Captain Kuchiki Byakuya of the Sixth Squad, the heir to the Kuchiki House.

[There's a moment where he adjusts Rukia!Bunny so that she's cradled safely right next to him.]

Now, tell me, WHERE IS THE WERECAT?

[dsuahoisfsdf he quiets down for his little bunny sister]

I mean, where is Captain Shihouin, surely she can tell me why I'm suddenly an adult and why my bedroom is bare! Did she have an accomplice? Was it that cretin, Kaien? I'll get him for this, I swear it.

[ooc; mental regression is go ♥!]

[feed opens up on a room with a bed in clear view, there's a figure still in bed but the other side is made up nicely. A door creaks from somewhere off to the side and Shinichi Kudo wanders in with a sliver tray of food. There are a few pieces of toast and something that is charcoal black]

...S-Sorry Heiji... I burnt breakfast again.


((ooc: So Shin-chan is virus'd and thinks he's newly married to Hattori :D Danni if this is not cool throw a brick at me or something, kay? Kay.))

First person to guess what I'm thankful for wins a prize. No hints, because hints don't count. No prize either, because like hell I'm gonna be able to sneak out of here and live to tell the tale. I'm masochistic, not suicidal, kay thanks. Speaking of which, jesus christ, where'd Marshall learn how to do that? God, I'm gonna need ice, damn it.

((OOC: Inner thoughts virus! Thoughts are in italics, and he can't read them! Found a bit of time post-thanksgiving, I can break hiatus today and tomorrow, but after that, not at all.))

Hey! Does anybody know where the hell Tachibana Shito is?

He vanished yesterday and I haven't heard from him since. I need him back right now. Like, five minutes ago.

Tatsumi and I had quite the pleasant evening last night. It seems so odd to think that is has only been two years. Truly, I could not imagine this life without him.

We are so far from unhappy, and yet...it does not seem that all of the piece of my heart have been gathered. Oh, I do love him, so very much; it is only...two years together and no, no...

It is unfair to mention such, as it goes. We cannot, well, he cannot...

Ash-kun, Ggio my dear, and all of the rest, I do love those who I would quite willingly call my family here...but, to have something so much of my own that it bears our name and our love without question...

This, truly, would be that missing piece.

((Of course you know my wife? virus. Tatsumi and Kasumi have been married for two years~ Kasumi wants kids. Since Tatsumi is, well, dead and all, he can't give her any. Believe, me, they've tried.

Anyone, feel free to suggest adoption.))

...not again. This network has made itself a nuisance. I am in no need of this distraction.

Hello again. It seems I have found this place again. Cooperate and I will be released. How is everyone?

[Oh, someone is pissed. Reeeeeally pissed.

Know why?

CAUSE SHE'S A TIGER. AGAIN. Like thinking she was married to Lisa for three days wasn't awkward enough.

Have a ROAR, DDD.]

Yo, ducks. Maaaan, when Pink Bunny says she's makin' Thanksgiving dinner it basically means you ain't leavin' until everything's eaten an' everybody's gotta use a wheelbarrow to get out. Or roll. I rolled.

Anyway, just wanted to say happy Turkey day, or Tofurkey or Indian Land Taking day, whatever. Hope y'all had big fuckin' meals and got plenty of leftovers, without too many viruses fuckin' y'all up.


Man, I am in such a good fuckin' mood.