dramadramaduck | Oh, no, Bertie has had an idea.

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Oh, no, Bertie has had an idea.

Triple-D, we have a problem.

The problem is thus: The future of impoliteness has led to such behavior amongst chaps (and, on rare occasion, the fillies as well) that it makes me look the perfect model of charm and grace!

It makes my sense of style look timid and restrained. While at Jack's and Ianto's world, I think I came very close to witnessing Jeeves have a heart-attack.

Now, I'm sure, actually, I know there are chaps from my world and time that seem to think about women in the ugly way that Xigbar does. But even they have the decency not to speak about it in mixed company, and certainly not with some sort of twisted pride about the whole thing!

I mean to say, a lovely profile is fine to admire, and, er, a bit of, well, let's just say, some friendly knee-fondling, is, well, rather nice, that's certainly not all there is! Doesn't anyone like to chat anymore?

But I had a thought. Perhaps a big part of it is simple ignorance! I know I've been accidentally rude countless times, because I wasn't aware of the proper conduct.

So, men of Triple-D! How would you like some lessons in being a gentleman? And, er, Jeeves, how would you like to help teach?

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It has been in my experience that some men are simply born vulgar. These men are usually of the lowest class, and simply have not any idea of how to treat a lady. I'm not entirely convinced this aspect is something that can be taught.

Perhaps some are, I don't know about that. But, if a chap wants to change, to make himself better, to climb the ladder and what-not, there ought to be a way for him to do so, what?

I think we ought to at least try, rather than just shrug and give up on humanity.

I'm not sure how much room you leave for someone to like you back.

I'm not a terribly good model, at least not where I'm from. But, in relation to what I've seen here on Triple-D, well.

In any case, Jeeves is perfect. He'll straighten out wherever I'm wrong.

This isn't mandatory, is it?

Well, no, I suppose not. I wouldn't want to be like Florence Craye or my Aunt Agatha. So, it's voluntary.

Oh, I have no doubt some men can change. But I have met many a person whom I would swear had a heart as barbarous and black as tar on the streets. The best course of action would be for us to mind our own businesses and let them mind theirs, unless of course they put it in their minds to bother a lady. If that is the case, then we, as gentlemen, are obligated to step in and defend the lady's honor.

Excellent. Count me out.

So... how're you gonna teach us how to be gentlemen anyhow?

For the most part, I agree with you, but I still want to give this a try. Maybe this problem came out of people not trying, you know?

And, terribly sorry for going off topic, but you are Doctor Watson, right? I saw your intro. before, but didn't have the chance to say anything. I'm Bertram Wilberforce Wooster, call me Bertie.

How is Mr. Holmes, anyway?

I didn't think it that far. But I do know some of the basics I could lay out. Er. Keep promises. Dress for going out.

Oh, and NEVER tell your fiance that her hat makes her look like a Pekingese. Even if it does.

There is a lot more. I may have to write out some sort of list...

I certainly can't begrudge you your attempt. I wish you good luck.

Yes; I am Doctor Watson, it's quite a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Bertie. Holmes is doing just fine; he's on another case, you see.

I see! I should write this stuff down... Dress for going out?

You mean like, if she asks if she looks fat, then never tell her she does or something?

I've noticed that a lot of people in the future go about in public in clothing hardly fit for wearing to play rugby. I really stand out in my suits.

Exactly! It doesn't matter what the truth is, that isn't the point. Frankly, I don't think that's ever what they are asking for, at least not when they ask a male acquaintance. If all her friends are laughing behind her back, then I suppose you have some duty to say something, but tread lightly!

Well, I wear suits a lot but that's because of my job, really.

So... women want to be lied to by guys? But that defeats the object of asking! What's the point if they already know you're not gonna tell them they look like a tramp even though they do?

I think I have some insight on this, since, well. To be honest, I think I pulled a similar stunt on Jeeves. No, scratch that, I have pulled the stunt on Jeeves. More than once. I'm not really sure why. I know one time it was simply because I was feeling ignored.

I wonder, if you payed enough attention, if that sort of question would simply disappear?

Question, would this involve fancy monocles and saucers of tea?

Thank you, Doctor Watson!

And that is dashed good to hear. He was having some trouble recently, right? I'm a touch relieved.

Have you gotten round to writing any of your adventures? There is a whole stack of them by my time, and I've read the lot.

Oh, I get it... I think. So what they really want is attention, huh... but sometimes it's hard to give them that, even if that sounds really unfair.

Either way, it'd be great if that question did disappear, it gets awkward trying to answer!

I'm afraid that's a no on the monocles. I wore one for awhile, but. Well, Jeeves said that it didn't suit me.

I suppose we could take tea, but I was thinking these lessons might be more fun over a few drinks instead, what?

Writing our adventures? No - no I haven't. To be quite honest, the thought of writing them down hasn't occurred to me. Of course, I take notes of Holmes' cases on the event that Holmes invites me to join him, but otherwise...

It is quite disconcerting to be told that you are to do something in the future when I hadn't even the slightest inclination of doing it in the first place.

[[ooc. He doesn't publish A Study in Scarlet for another three years. Heh.]]

Could I wear one then? Maybe a fake moustache? Oo, and a bowler hat. We could be distinguished gentlemen!

Count me in!

Aww..not everyone can pull off the monocle.

On another occasion, someone I consider to have bad taste gave me a compliment. Needless to say, it rather made me second guess my ensemble.

But, yes, the fairer sex can be decidedly unfair. I think the best route is to be as much of a gentleman as you can manage, and hope for the best. This is useless against Aunts, of course, but it tends to smooth out alright in the end with most females. It seems that, as things go, they appreciate the effort! The sensible ones, that is.

Well! It's nice to see such enthusiasm! I don't know about the moustache, though.

I wonder how this ought to be organized. Perhaps I should have talked this over with Jeeves first.

Very true. Jeeves never said as much, but to judge by one painting, it made me look a bit of a chump.

Not everyone can paint either. I wonder if I should bring this up with Joel...you, a chump? Bah, you're a classy fellow.

No moustache? But there's got to be at least one moustache somewhere. How else will I pull off looking gentlemenly?

I think the publication had something to do with Mr. Holmes being sick and tired of him doing all the work and Scotland Yard taking all of the credit. It was a sort of 'take that!', you see.

But now I wonder if I should have said any of that. Terribly sorry. Er. It's just that I'm a rather enthusiastic follower, and.

Actually, I rather made a fool of myself in front of Mr. Holmes, and.

Oh, dash it, nevermind.

[Three years? Goodness. *tries to remember the canonically shaky timeline* Has STUD happened yet? Or is it just about to happen?]

Classy? Really? Why, thank you!

Oh, dash it, I hardly feel I've earned that, I haven't even introduced myself properly! I'm Bertie Wooster.

Looks are for naught, old thing, unless you have the attitude! I won't object to a moustache, I'm just thinking of Jeeves' reaction.

Bertie! I'm Crow! Crow T. Robot.

Oh, I've got attitude, you should see my sunglasses. Jeeves?

A pleasure to meet you, Crow!

And yes, Jeeves. He's my man, you know, my valet. A 'gentleman's personal gentleman', as he likes to put it.

If you need a lady to practice on, consider me volunteered!

You are quite right in that Scotland Yard takes almost all of Holmes' work and call it their own. You have no idea who much it irks me to see a case 'solved' by a Mr. Gregson or some other police officer when I know they had very little part in its solving. Although I'll have you know that Holmes himself doesn't seem very troubled by his lack of credit. He calls them "simple problems," you see. Not worthy of his great intellect, I suppose.

Have you met Holmes in person, then?

[[ooc. Heh, we're situated in 1883 right now, and 1887 is when STUD is published. If you assume that STUD happened when Watson says it did (and there are some that say it actually happened later, then both STUD and SPEC have happened already. And then again, it depends on which chronicler you ask, of course ^^]]

Not quite in person. On this community.

Actually, I'm trying to unlearn that.

Considering how many people here could benefit from such lessons, the response you received is a bit disappointing.

I suppose the issue is, the type of men that need it, are the type of men that don't want it. Not sure why that didn't occur to me sooner. But! Not all is lost! It has rather led me to have an even better idea!

I don't think I've gathered up enough for a proper class, but thank you indeed for the offer! I'm Bertie Wooster, how do you do?

Unlearn? Why on earth would you want to unlearn. Ah. I have a guess. Some conniving filly took advantage of your good nature? Yes, I've had one or two of those.

Well, never mind it, Jeeves, it doesn't have enough petrol to stay in motion, I'm afraid. But I've had another idea. How about a club? For all the men who aren't blighters on Triple-D! Wouldn't that be fantastic? It could still be a sort of teaching rag, but simply teaching by example! Get together for drinks and parties and socializing, an all around jolly thing, very gay! And, when someone is being a blighter on Triple-D, then we as members could speak up!

What do you think?

Yes, exactly that.

Oh? What did you do?

Umi Ryuuzaki, nice to meet you. Maybe you could post them as videos to the community - an actual class would be hard to organize.

Oh, I say! That is a fantastic idea! Absolutely! Thank you very much!

I spent the night in jail, is what I did. No good deed goes unpunished, dash it. Fortunately, Jeeves showed up to ladle me out of that soup. One must simply do the best he can, what? The solution is to have someone to be by your side, through thick and thicker.

I have someone standing by my side now but not then, even my own parents wouldn't stand by my side. Just my Growlithe and he can't talk.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh, no, Bertie has had an idea.

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If you wonder how he connects to this comm, and other science facts, (lalalala)

You should say to yourself it's just a game, you should really just relax.

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GTG, byes!

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