dramadramaduck | backdated a couple days

[The video flips on and it's blurry and then shakes as Birkin's phone flies through the air and lands in a pile of dirt. Birkin is then seen following his phone's example and landing in Stein's front yard before the owner of said house slams his front door and locks it.

Birkin, rather understandably, sits up looking absolutely livid]

Asshole! Fucker! You can't just kick me out of my own house you dick! Three years and this is what I get?! No! No, no, no... I'll get a lawyer! I'm pretty sure we were in a common law marriage at this point! And I will sue your ass in half, Fran- Stein!

[He sighs, before picking up his phone and clearing his raw-from-yelling-way-too-much throat] Yeah, hi, I, uh... I need a worldhop back home I guess. Home-home, I mean. The universe I was born in, the one I won't get [turns back to Stein's house, showing the variety of things all belonging to Birkin littering the lawn] forcibly removed from! At a moment's notice! For no reason! [Ahems again and goes back to the phone.] So, yeah, I, uh... Yeah, worldhop. Home. Et cetera.

Oh! Uh... A-Ah, uh... Annette? Can we...? Can I...? [He sighs again, looking guilty and embarrassed] Can I just talk to you? Please?

[Somehow or another, Birkin manages to stop the video before he starts to cry, but the audio manages to pick up the beginning of a sob before getting cut off.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Need a plathe to crash?

Uh... Seriously? You'd let me stay with you? I mean, that'd be really great to just have a place that I can sort of... Clear my head for a few days before I head on back to the zombie-ridden hellhole that is my universe. If you want. I won't stay long! I promise!

Uh... I wathn't really theriouth. But...I guethh you could. If you really need to.

Well, I mean. If you don't mind...

[He really likes his privacy... and his hive isn't very big. And it's messy. And Birkin is human, so he'll have to stay inside. But Sollux doesn't dislike Birkin, and the guy seems pretty desperate, so...]

...I don't mind.

Sucks to be you, huh. I'd offer a nicer place to crash than troll planet, but I don't have one. You probably don't wanna live in prison.

[Sob, Sollux, why are you such a sweetheart?]

...Thanks. Yeah, that, uh... That sounds great. I really appreciate it.

Lover's quarrel?

I don't have a worldhop, though. [He glances around uncomfortably] Let me go clean up a bit before you get here...

Yeah, jail sounds pretty shitty... But thanks for the offer. Seriously. I really do appreciate it. I didn't entirely expect you to offer much of anything. So... Yeah, just thanks.

Community-related lover's quarrel. I guess waking up next to some guy he didn't know kinda... Freaked Stein out a bit.

You really don't have to clean... And don't worry about the worldhop, I'm sure I'll get one. I've been here long enough to know a few people willing to put up with me long enough to give me a ride.

So now you gotta go crawling back to the girl you were with before?

I'm not crawling anywhere. I just... I just want to see if she'd be willing to have us work things out now that I'm single.

Two guys can't have common law marriage.

[Good focus she has.]

Gee. Thanks. It's not like it really matters either way; even if we could, my story makes me sound fucking insane for one, and no one in this universe likes me for two.

With a name like Frank Stein, probably.

Uhh... Actually it's kind of worse than Frank; his first name's Franken. The book doesn't exist here in his world. I made him read it once he had access to it, but... Yeah, his name's Franken Stein. My standards have obviously been at an all-time low these past few years.

[She pokes the screen.] You look human... either you're real or he got better than he was in the books.

I'm pretty sure if he'd made me, he wouldn't bother kicking me out of his house.

Nothing ever works out right for the mad scientist, especially if they make somebody.

I dunno, creating zombies has worked out pretty okay for me so far.

So you're one too?

Why would anybody that claims to be smart make zombies?

Mad scientist you mean? Yeah, you bet your ass I am.

And I think it's mostly because people pay for that shit for whatever reason.

A domestic dispute...how sad. Do you need any help, sir?

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