006 ✪ [Video]

[notmyfirstrodeo]

[Video feed shows Coulson as normal: no mini skirt, no fancy poses. Just a fairly serious looking man in a black suit and tie.

He doesn't look terribly pleased. At all. He clears his throat.]

All right, let's get it out of the way. Yes. I ran around crime-fighting in a miniskirt. So if you'd like to have a laugh about it, or there's a joke you've been saving, please, let's hear it now. Get it out of our systems.

Obviously it was not my choice. The community and its viruses got me. My luck ran out.

Few things right off the bat: No I do not plan on ever wearing a skirt again. Yes, I do, in fact, have very nice legs. So I'm sure it's a waste. Tragedy. We'll all have to come to terms with it and move on with our lives.

Apologies all around for awkwardness. ...lots of apologies.

I... I'm going to go do paperwork. In the basement. For the rest of the year.

Comments

video;

[doyoufondue]

Does SHIELD have office basements to do paperwork in?

video;

[notmyfirstrodeo]

Of course. ...none quite as deep underground as I'd like right now, but any port in a storm.

video;

[doyoufondue]

You don't have to live in the sewers with alligators over it. It isn't ...that bad. You didn't sing or anything.

video;

[notmyfirstrodeo]

Sewers aren't my thing. Too damp. Wrinkles the suit.

Well... small favors, I expect. I really can't carry a tune.

[nofondueforyou]

I'm glad to see you're back to normal. You don't need to apologise for anything.

[notmyfirstrodeo]

That's generous of you, Agent Carter. Unfortunately, I remember my behavior pretty well.

video;

[doyoufondue]

Guess not being damp would be ideal for the paper too.

You could've used the robot voice to sing. People seem to like the robot voice.

video;

[notmyfirstrodeo]

Runs the ink. Suddenly "classified" looks more like "declassified" and the whole thing goes to hell.

The robot voice?

video;

[doyoufondue]

But on the bright side: alligators.

Yeah. It's not the real voice in the songs it sounds like they're robots? It was on the radio. ...I don't know if there's an actual name for robot voice. Maybe there's actual robots singing.

[kittyhell]

If you go and hide now you'll be terribly missed.

[nofondueforyou]

It was the fault of the community though.

video;

[notmyfirstrodeo]

...true. True. Alligators are a big check in the plus column.

[Coulson is thinking this over for a minute before.] ...auto-tune! No, unfortunately that's not robots singing. There'd probably be more depth if we had robots singing.

[KE$HA HE IS LOOKING AT YOU.]

[notmyfirstrodeo]

I suppose there is that. I still probably should have known better.

[notmyfirstrodeo]

Selina. [Oh that's right she saw too. Oh his dignity it hurts.]

Well. I expect most people saw entirely too much of me in the recent past. [Way. WAY too much.]

[kittyhell]

Phil dear. [She's said you had nice legs, remember?]

I'd put on a miniskirt and try and call it even, but I'm sure it wouldn't have the same impact. I don't think one virus is worth you disappearing though...if the community would allow it.

video; ...was that rumplestiltskin

[doyoufondue]

Auto-tune...? Oh. So that's some sort of filter then, huh? Whatever it is you don't have to carry a tune for it.

[ I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND YOU, KE$HA. WHY IS THERE A DOLLAR SIGN IN YOUR NAME ]

[notmyfirstrodeo]

Probably not the same impact, no. But as a matter of policy, I think I'll leave the skirts, mini and otherwise, to your expertise from now on.

It probably isn't. I suppose it could have been much worse.

video; ...maybe. >.> a little.

[notmyfirstrodeo]

It is. Crowning achievement and contribution to the arts of the 21st century. Welcome to the future, Steve.

[kittyhell]

I can live with that if you can.

It could have, you weren't physically hurt and as far as I know no one else was...so will you reconsider?

video; ...ahaha omg

[doyoufondue]

I don't get it.

[notmyfirstrodeo]

Quite happily.

Well. You have a point with that. I suppose I can put off the basement refuge.

video; ...totally same as Coulson ok? can barely tell the difference

[notmyfirstrodeo]

It's best that you don't.

But, I think I'll avoid singing with the aid of auto-tune or without. ...there aren't viruses that make you sing, are there?

video; ...oh yeah. like twins.

[doyoufondue]

Not that I know of. ...I mean I sang during one of them a little bit but that was just me.

[kittyhell]

Then we agree.

I'm very glad, I'd be disappointed if you missed Christmas.

video; ...exaaaaactly

[notmyfirstrodeo]

[This is good news.]

Just you? What were you singing? [Was it your themesong, Steve?]