docfoul: (Handmaid I am home now and-- oh okay.)
Doc Scratch ([personal profile] docfoul) wrote in [community profile] dramadramaduck2012-10-20 07:31 pm
Entry tags:

[video] In which a smuggy cueball proves himself irredeemable, then gets what's been coming to him.

[Scratch, armed with a broom, approaches a heavily-locked door - there are loud banging noises coming from behind it. When Scratch enters, it becomes clear that the source of all this racket is... a face that may look familiar to some people in the community. Also wow what even is that on the strange screen?

The little girl then proceeds to throw the chair at Scratch's head and double-flip him the bird.]


I see. It's another one of your moods. We will have to work on ironing out this behavior before you meet your true master. He is a far less gracious host than I.

[STRIFE time!! The girl drives her needles into the cueball. In response, he teleports the two of them on to the top of a ship travelling through space, where one of them clearly has trouble breathing (and it's not the immortal, puppet-bodied man).

There is a brief cut in the feed. The girl is sticking her needles into an electrical socket now--

Scratch hits her hard with the broom and lets her fall on the floor gracelessly.]
And there go the electricity privileges.

I think now would be a good time for another round of reeducation regarding her purpose. A little refresher on the prestigious employment opportunity for which she is being groomed. And since you are still my guest, [he seems to turn his head directly to the camera for a second - hi there, community, he knows you're watching] it would please me to tell you this inspiring tale as well.

[He goes on in this stupidly long-winded manner for a bit before actually starting to tell the story. Blah blah sacrifice, long forgotten heroes, "the Sufferer"? Nobody is even listening anymore. Oh, wait. Looks like the story has actually begun now.]

Once, in this very universe, you could say, Alternia was home to a peaceful race. Trollkind had never known the corrupting influence in their evolution which led them to perpetual war and violence.

That is to say, they had never known me.


[He goes on, and on and on. He speaks of a deal his master authorised - a scratch, a second chance, and a bargain fulfilled to the letter. A hero who remembered his previous life when he should not have, preached love and compassion, and died in suffering. A nigh-immortal space-conquering empress who survived the near-extinction of her race and rushed back to her planet. A young troll raised by himself to spread terror and discord across the ages, at his master's bidding, and her reward - death - which would only come at the hands of the troll empress - who would then take her place in Lord English's service to carry out his work in places he cannot reach.

That weird orange-skinned guy from before is right behind him and he hasn't shut the fuck up yet.]


And so, my dear, that is the inspiring tale of your people, and why you should feel rather privileged to be in the position for which I have groomed you meticulously. Are you not grateful? Yes, surely you are, and it warms the soft fluffy material in my chest to know this. What is it? What are you looking at over there?

Ah, of course. The clock. I can see you have a good eye for a fine timepiece. Your exemplary taste is certainly owed to a quality upbringing. Perhaps you wish to know the history of the clock, and how I came to possess it? Yes, I can see the sparkle of curiosity in your eye. It's a marvelous tale, one almost as long as it is verbosely told. Where do I even begin...


[... And the man leaps.] STORY TIME'S OVER WIND BAG WHOOPS OH SHIT GET THIS FUCKIN' CLOCK OUTTA MY WAY. I AM A ONE MAN STAMPEDE AND I'VE GOT A BROOM AND THAT PEAL OF SPLINTERING WOOD YOU HEAR IS THE LAST GASP OF A PRICELESS ANTIQUE DISINTEGRATING BENEATH THE OUTRAGEOUS FURY OF MY AUTHORIAL HOOVES.

[And he bats at Scratch with his broom. The douchebag's arms flop around uselessly.



The man shakes him furiously and the girl takes her chance to escape.

Then he throws Scratch to the ground, where he lies lifeless with a hole on his back and a leg torn off.

Looks like he won't be replying to this post.]

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