[voice]

[desertification]

Hnn? [The voice is male, a deep baritone.]

Is this Den Den Mushi sick? [There are several distinct tapping noises, evenly spaced.]

How annoying.

Comments

[voice]

[justforyou]

It might be but, uh, what's a Den Den Mushi?

[heavenlyhome]

Oh, no, something is sick? If you're in need, I'm sure someone would be able to heal your friend.

[voice]

[desertification]

[So it's not so sick that he can't get replies. It's just that he's getting stupid replies from voices he doesn't recognize.]

You're using one.

[voice]

[justforyou]

No, I'm using my phone.

[voice]

[desertification]

Your what?

[what are means of long-distance communication that aren't telepathic snail based?]

[desertification]

Who is this?

[voice]

[justforyou]

My phone.

[What is this guy?]

[sandinmyboots]

Hi. Do you need an explanation of what is going on?

[voice]

[desertification]

What is a "phone" supposed to be?

And who is this?

yesss

[desertification]

Are you offering?

[sandinmyboots]

Indeed I am!

Before I begin, do you know what a telephone, an internet or a computer is?

[desertification]

[He suspects there's a catch somewhere in all this, but...]

Never heard of them.

[voice]

[justforyou]

It's this thing you use to call people?

[sandinmyboots]

Ok, that makes things a bit trickier, but I can manage.

This is a magical...thing called Drama Drama Duck. This thing is capable of connecting many worlds from parallel dimensions via those things mentioned above, which are technologies common on the world known as Earth. There are many versions of Earth and most people here are from it. If you can let me know about what formats the thing you're communicating with is capable of using, I can try and send you information on Earth and these technologies.

This thing, Drama Drama Duck, wants you to interact with these other people from other worlds and will interrupt you at the worst times in order to make you do that, or it will record your most private moments. It's also capable of causing strange and temporary changes to reality, which we call 'viruses' for reasons I have no idea of.

However, it will also allow you to visit other worlds and take things from them, and it can alter the very flow of fate!

[voice]

[desertification]

[The voice turns more forceful.] Who is this?

[heavenlyhome]

My name is Tendou Kasumi, sir. I don't believe we've met.

[desertification]

[On the "wants yo to interact" part, he hangs up.

And it keeps going.

This...is not going to put him in a good mood.]

So what are these...[the words come slowly, and from someone obviously annoyed] internet and computer?

[desertification]

We haven't. [Assured.]

How did you get this Den Den Mushi? [And irritated.]

[heavenlyhome]

I do not have a Den Den Mushi. If it is not your friend, then... might it be your phone?

[sandinmyboots]

[This guy's probably not from Earth, and he doesn't like being meddled with.]

[Interesting.]

Basically, computers are these metal boxes with a screen that shows pictures and text and are attached to typewriters. The internet is this...it's...it's this magic thing that lets you access a lot of information, read almost every book written, talk to people halfway across the world, and lots more.

Can your Den Den Mushi transfer papers? If it can, I"m just going to send you the encyclopedia entries because they're a lot better at explaining it than I am.

[voice]

[justforyou]

Uh, Kirika. No, I didn't contact you.

[Okay, that's kind of a creepy guy but whatever.]

[voice]

[desertification]

[creepy? oh come on it's not like he's feeding people to giant crocodiles at the moment.

another tap.]

Kirika.

Are you on the Grand Line?

[desertification]

[That sounded a little like some of the things people managed with visual Den Den Mushi.]

This one isn't set up for it.

[but if this thing can just take over a Den Den Mushi so the signal can't even be stopped, maybe it would just take over the one that is set up for it.]

But you could try.

[desertification]

[Through the multiple conversations, he's piecing this together.]

Something like that.

[voice]

[justforyou]

I have no idea what that is.