[Video - Grabbag Virus, Body Swap]

[hunterofpeace]

[In the background of the video is the hum and rumble that sounds like a locomotion, visibility low as is if the primary source of light were the recording device itself. It highlights a shirtless Vash, covered in deep but old lesions, surgical scars, even what appear to be hunks of long missing flesh. All of those appear to be so old as to no longer even hurt; in contrast to the deep, dark splotch of blood smearing over his stomach as he gives up at wiping it to start padding it over with cloth scraps.] 'least it's not gushing anymore. This'll have to do for the short run. [For anyone familiar with Vash, his speech cadence seems off from his usual pattern, along with some of his pronunciations, still entirely coherent, but distinctly... accented. Even if he seems to be talking to himself, he gives a pained grin to the camera as he reaches into a (random) passenger's suitcase for a shirt to use as a bandage to hold the cloth in place.]

But, really, Needle Noggin, if you're doing all this...Ghh! [Jerking the bandage a little too tightly in emphasis on his own body, his eyes roll and his teeth grit before letting some slack loose and panting. He decides an easier means of emphasis is to slap his hand to his chest, leering towards the camera.] ...because some mystery "she" would get her tush in a sling over somebody dying, like that Kaito said, do you think any good woman's going to be happy about you coming home looking like this?

I've... [There's some hesitation as he gathers up the edges of the cloth to wrap it around again, avoiding looking at the camera even though there's no organic gaze in it yet to meet.] ...got three lives to save over here. Yours, mine, and li'l Kaito's. So I'm gonna have to put a black mark on your Saint's record.

Comments

[selene]

H.. hey, I'm just saying the truth! What I like is guys who are kind and look cute! Like Motoki onii-san..!

[selene]

...

[ Blink. Wait, what, that's too many "him" and "he".. trying to figure it out in her head here. ]

So.. you look like him and.. he.. like you..? [ Still a little unsure. ] But why?

[hunterofpeace]

Only answer that makes any sense is a virus. Those things don't usually last too long, but most of them are at least a day or two or three... That means I'll have to be responsible for this dummy's mess.

[selene]

[ A virus that makes people pregnant, a virus that makes people swap bodies.. man, what's next? All of this just sounds like it sucks..! ]

.. Right, um.. what's wrong with him? You-- he-- .. the body looks so hurt!

[hunterofpeace]

Aa. [He looks down at himself almost hesitantly, grimacing despite himself. One hand runs up the fleshy part of his left arm, feeling the depth of an old pink gash, wincing even though it's too old to hurt. He gives it another brush to confirm to himself that it really doesn't before looking down to his gut where the makeshift bandages are. That will probably become another scar, and he knows how he got that one.] I've never met him formally before this, but I think I have a guess: Vash the Stampede, the sixty billion double dollar outlaw known as the Humanoid Typhoon is... [He wants to say 'an insufferably good man' but that's too simple, and the key word here really does need to be insufferable. There's a limit to what you can call 'good' while still expecting anybody to be good. A hero, a good man, would kill the hijackers and save the passengers. That would make a good man even with bloody hands. He gets more and more frustrated as the silence drags out before finding the words.] ...an idiot.

[smokepraylove]

Somebody already beat me again? Man, this is turning out to be a bad day.

Sorry, didn't see this!

[smokepraylove]

You're the one riding a death machine while carrying a weird cross and smoking.

It's easy to see your screenname at the bottom of a thread and think: "Cool, their turn."

[hunterofpeace]

Death machine?

Hey, wait.

What happened to my Angelina?!

[selene]

[ .. well, that answer didn't help much. She does know Vash's name, so she knows that's hiw body, but.. he's an outlaw? Was that why people chased him with guns? And what's that talk about.. ]

I.. I don't think I get it, sir! How does that make him an idiot? Did he fall into something sharp and pointy?!

[hunterofpeace]

[Once again, Usagi is a very My Pace kind of girl. The tension seeps right on back out of him, with an exasperated but amused slump. Removing all the complexities from his thoughts, his final, simple impression of him is decidedly good; she's unexpectedly good at improving the mood with that pace of hers.] How to put this...

He's the kind of idiot who would let himself be pushed into something sharp and pointy just to make sure the pusher's hand doesn't get pricked.

[selene]

[ Basically the same kind as Usagi, huh. Not that she actively realises that though, since she doesn't necessarily actively think of herself as such. ]

So in other words, he's just a good person? Did he get hurt to protect someone..?

[hunterofpeace]

The 'someone' who shot him in the first place.

[selene]

.. H.. huh?! B-but wasn't the person who shot him a bad person?! Only bad people would do that to others, right?

[hunterofpeace]

Well, everyone has their circumstances, but that's what it comes down to. If this blockhead is slapped, he doesn't just turn the other cheek, he worries about their hand getting chaffed.

[selene]

..

That sounds dangerous.. I mean, if the person has bad intentions, then he could get seriously hurt, right? I wouldn't want him to get hurt if he's such a kind person..

[hunterofpeace]

You and me both.

Especially since I'm in his body.

[selene]

H-hey, that shouldn't be the first reason to say something like that! Think of his wellbeing too!

[hunterofpeace]

Someone should, if he won't... When we get back into our own selves, I'll have to find him again.

In the mean time, I'll try not to update his work d'art here. [There's a motion to his body again.]

[selene]

... Thank you, sir. [ At least she smiles now. Not as over the top as she usually does, but more just warmly. ]

Please take good care of his body. I owe you one for that too!