As it is, I've already had a lot of people stop being able to face me with a smile if I'm in a situation that's... pretty normal for me, or even less dangerous than usual.

I don't want to keep these things a secret because it'll hurt me or I'm worried people will know. These people are people I trust, I just... I know that they care about me and if they found out these things, they'd want to get involved when they can't. They'd want to help or make sure I'm safe all the time when it's my choice to be in this position because there's something I want to do.

I don't expect to live very long and I've already made arrangements for some of the things in my possession even though I'm still in high school. I can't torture the people I care about like that or make them worry that one day I might not come home.