[No one will be able to worldhop in. Dexter is in his car, the community recording him from somewhere on the dash.]

I like to think I have a good sensibility of 'irony.' But I also think our kidnappers missed the mark.

Rita, if you're there: I'll get them back. [cut out!]

[Have another bleeding man, DDD. Dexter has a concussion as evidenced by his head wound, which he is currently nursing with an ice pack. He still sounds a bit out of it, probably because you're not supposed to sleep on a concussed head.]

If I had known he was going to blow up the house, I wouldn't have been standing so close to the propane tank.

[I am taking Dexter through Dexter by Design canon before the show goes back on. Enjoy.]


What makes a person a monstre, Community? A monster.

[Rita is standing in what appears to be a small cottage. That wouldn't be so strange if it weren't for the fact she's dressed up as Snow White and cleaning said cottage... with animals helping her in the background. Yeah. She got a very interesting virus.] 

I know I said I would be waiting for you but, something happened. [Rita bites down her lip.] But don't worry I got away safely. These nice men are even letting me stay with them. 

Can you forgive me?


[ooc; Rita is Snow White for the virus. She just got away from the first attempt on her life. :> Since Snow White isn't exactly the brightest of the Disney princesses she didn't think to private this post. It is directed at her prince though. Take a wild guess who that is.]

[Dexter is dressed like Snow White's prince, and yes, he's on a white horse. Creeperfully creeperly listening to a young maiden sing. Video for reference is here.]

That is the woman I'm to marry. Though I've never seen her face, I will make her my queen.

[ooc; Dexter and Rita are affected by the ~fairytale~ virus. Be careful, he may start singing :|| ]

Sorry it's sort of been a while since I posted. The kids are getting ready for summer, and I am getting ready to have a full house Monday through Friday. Anyone know how to keep three kids occupado? Ages 1, 9 and 12. Not exactly an easy task.

Is everyone else getting ready for school's-out?

[ooc: This is Bruce's canon move. However, this is not Bruce. Have a bodyswapped Dexter Morgan as the Hulk, everyone. Since Dexter looks, sounds, and essentially is Bruce Banner right now, your character will not know the difference. Dialogue taken from the original script. Responses will come ICly the day later.]

[The blurry footage of a Virginia news channel slowly comes into focus, one lone reporter standing in a field.]

Rumors continue to swirls about a violent clash between forces of the US Army and an unknown adversary on the campus of Culver University earlier today... Authorities have renewed the long-cold hunt for fugitive government scientist David Bruce Banner....

[A picture of Bruce comes up for a moment before cutting back to the reporter, now with two "eyewitnesses," two college kids obviously high.]

Very few outside the military got a firsthand look at their rumored adversary. Sophomores Jack McGhee and Kevin Feige were coming home from a hike and witnessed some of the battle. McGhee captured this on his cell phone.

[A grainy cellphone video of the Hulk comes up on the screen.]

Can you describe what you saw?

Dude, it was like a huge and green... HUGE... I mean like the way Steve Nash looks standing next to Shaq... Shaq would look like that standing next to this...

We caught the cannibals and got our storybook ending. Though, I suppose Samantha missed out on that. She did get what she always wanted, so perhaps we can write her in after all. It wouldn't be fair after all the effort she went through...

Miami is finally starting to warm up again. If I saw one more native in a parka, well. It was distressing to say the least.

The kids are doing a bake-sale for Japan. I'm still a little unclear on how baked goods help Earthquake victims, but Cody and Astor seem to know what they're doing. As always, I'm just be along for the ride.

[He's hesitant to address her, but he does need her help.] Rita, we can't find your recipe cards. Do you have a place you usually keep them?

[Looks like a certain blood spatter pattern analyst got into the band candy.... Oops. For all the Dexter muses out there: Dexter totally gave you some too c:]

I've never really seen the point in pretending. Why am I still following the rules laid down by a dead man? If he had something important to say, wouldn't he still be here to say it?

But this isn't about Harry, not really. It's about me. And how I don't... fit.

Not with Debra, not with Rita, not at the office. And not here.

[ Phase Two of canon move. Thanks to big brother's anonymous tip, Dexter is safely back home with the kids. ...After having slept with an underaged girl. He was drugged okay, it totally wasn't his fault. Or something. ]

Nothing like getting kidnapped by Cannibals to really make a weekend special.

I never thought I'd be so happy to see the Community.


Deb, Thank you.

[Community, have a Winry. Who looks sleepy. And somewhat perplexed.]

I just had a dream. I was sitting in a hospital, with Ed. He was...unconscious, and it was pretty obvious he'd been in a fight from all the bandages. I was waiting for him to wake up when I felt something behind me.

When I looked over my shoulder, I saw Dexter Morgan looking at Ed through the window and I knew someone had asked Mr. Morgan to kill Ed. I also knew he was waiting for me to leave the room. I woke up before anything else happened but isn't that a weird dream?

[ Here's Dexter, moving along with his book plot. He's .. stuck in a walk-in freezer. The following is a series of text messages he tried to send his sister Debra. On account of him having no service from a freezer in a vampire club, they've been intercepted from his phone and posted for your amusement. He will be able to respond after Samantha (his freezer-mate) goes to sleep. So, perhaps a few hours later. ]

Deb;
I found Samantha.
dex

Deb;
Turns out she wasn't as kidnapped as we thought.
dex

Deb;
She wants to be here.
dex

Deb;
I'm in
dex

Deb;
She locked me in a freezer.
dex

Deb;
I know you aren't getting these.
dex

Deb;
I wish I knew where you were.
dex

Deb;
You wouldn't leave me behind, would you?
dex

Deb;
I didn't mean that. It's cold in here.
dex

[ ETA: Should've mentioned this the first time through, but if it isn't obvious, worldhops or attempts to save him will not work. Not that Dexter knows that. ]

[ The first two days saw Dexter as 8 years old, the last day will see him at ... 60. ]

I haven't seen this place in a while. I probably had a few less wrinkles last time you saw me.

It's Dexter, and it's been .. well, a few years.

Rita and I are coming up on our anniversary soon, the big 2-O. I can't believe it's been that long since I was first introduced to DramaDramaDuck.


..

Candy, are you out there?

[ Hello again, Community. Have 8-year-old Dexter Morgan. He is currently peering at you verryy curiouslike. But not at that interested, really. His expression is blank for all that's going through his head. ]

What is this thing?

[ Dexter will be going through Dexter is Delicious insofar as his game & TV canon will allow - while the series is out. ]

What would possess a person to eat another person?



..What would possess a person to want to be eaten?

It's a bit cold for Boxing Day... and by cold, I mean 63 degrees fahrenheit. Cloudy too.

A tiny apartment with three kids on Christmas was no easy task, but Deb helped me pull it off. Couldn't have done it without her.

So, needless to say, I wasn't in attendance at the party. Sorry, about that.. Tony? I got you these. [ tilts the webcam to include the table, and six brandy snifters engraved "AES" are sitting by this bottle. he lets the camera rest there a second before his face comes back into view ]

Sorry to my secret santa too - [ uncomfortable look here ] You can pick up my address from Willow? (Sorry, Willow, I know I said I'd be there.)

I hope you all had a good holiday.

[claire feel free to reveal yourself here or do as he says; tony come get your stuff 8D. and anyone else who wants to come bug him~~]

Sunday is Harrison's birthday... I can't believe how fast this year went. And enough's happened for five years at least. It's too bad he won't get to remember it, I'll have to take lots of pictures.

[locked to Deb]

I really wish you were coming.