Journal #1

[vampxtermin8r1.livejournal.com]

So I just recently joined this so called "community" of people. I realize that some of you are just pretending to be your every day-Joe, but I know who you really are.

You leeches out there: I'm going to exterminate each and every one of you. I can smell your undead stink from a mile away. You're not fooling anybody.

To everyone else: Watch out. The bloodsuckers are everywhere. My brother and I will give our dying breath to protect this place... but it doesn't come cheap. We may just give you a complementary service if we're feeling generous, but this place looks worse than Santa Carla and that's sayin something.

Your complementary tip for the day:

They're everywhere. The next time you go to bed, make sure to eat lots of spaghetti ahead of time. When your mom comes to kiss you goodnight, you can test her bloodsucking-potential by breathing in her face.


Until next time.

Over and out.

Comments

[fasterthan]

Say what?

[defective-heir.livejournal.com]

U-um excuse me, but what?

[darkmirror-vr2.livejournal.com]

I'm getting the impression that you're trying to warn us about something. Is that right?

[stripping.livejournal.com]

I don't suppose you could convince your brother that I'm not a vampire, could you?

[vampxtermin8r2.livejournal.com]

Seems like most of the ignorant civilians on here don't believe us.

[lightning-larx.livejournal.com]

Oh good, you'll fit right with the other vampire conspiracy nut.

Guess I shouldn't talk though, I was a part-time demon hunter until recently.

[steelisblood.livejournal.com]

Boy, you wouldn't know a Dead Apostle until it bit you in the ass, and if you keep this up, one will find you and bite you in the ass.

[truewhite.livejournal.com]

But . . . Garlic doesn't work, that's a silly wives tale.

Wow, you two must be really dumb to think you could really face a Dead Apostle. I mean, listen to the murderous Counter Guardian . . .

[i-wont-say-it.livejournal.com]

Certainly a sweet talker I see. Good luck with your vampire hunt.

[unluckychimera.livejournal.com]

Vampires don't exist in my world, and even if they did I'd be perfectly safe from them.

[handywithscythe.livejournal.com]

I am not aware that spaghetti is a recognised defense against vampires.

[cold-sarcasm.livejournal.com]

I doubt you've ever faced a real vampire before.

[scarlet-magic.livejournal.com]

You're quite amusing~

[door2urdream.livejournal.com]

Bloodsuckers?

They sound fun, why would you want to kill them? Hmmmm?

[oceanicbutterfly]

There are worse things out there than vampires.

[vampxtermin8r1.livejournal.com]

You're just uneducated in the ways of the bloodsucker.

[vampxtermin8r1.livejournal.com]

Because they kill you, Einstein.

[vampxtermin8r1.livejournal.com]

You say that now, but you'll be thanking me when they come for you.

[vampxtermin8r1.livejournal.com]

You're right. I haven't faced a real vampire. I've faced four real vampires, at once, and then the head bloodsucker.

[vampxtermin8r1.livejournal.com]

Garlic. Spaghetti is a good way to disguise the fact that you're actually trying to nail the vamp.

[vampxtermin8r1.livejournal.com]

Nobody is safe from the bloodsuckers.

[vampxtermin8r1.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Your support is appreciated. Keep it up and we might give you a free consultation.

[scarlet-magic.livejournal.com]

When who comes for me? The vampires? I look forward to befriending them, actually.

[vampxtermin8r1.livejournal.com]

What are you talking about?

[vampxtermin8r1.livejournal.com]

Come near me and my brother and I will be serving fried vampire for our next meal.