Is this the community my dear servant has been spending so much time on? How wonderful! But whats this? The child has not introduced himself! I simply must remedy that.

Hello Drama Drama Duck!  I am Vara, planetary thinkhive and soul of Uran S'Varek. You have already met my servant Hok'Ton Karakael. But you don't know much about him, do you? So. Ask any question about him, and I will answer. (Won't he hate this~)

Gawd! I leave for five minutes and look at what happens!

When I left, this place was nothing less than a gleaming hub of intellectual intercourse. Say it with me now. Intercourse. Let it roll off the tongue. Intercourse. But then some stupid virus hits the community, and the whole thing turns to crap! You're like wolves! Hell, you're less than wolves! Wolves don't let themselves get taken over by viruses. Ever see that movie Outbreak? With Dustin Hoffman? There were no wolves in that movie. Although there may have been a coyote or two. Or maybe that was Coyote Ugly. I dunno, I didn't watch it.

I guess I shouldn't be so surprised that this place is falling to pieces. You guys need a role model. Somebody to show you what's what. Someone who can put his foot down and speak his mind about viruses and wolves. And Dustin Hoffman. Someone who just happens to be a friggin' movie star.

That's right. I'm in a movie. A very successful movie, I might add. And even if you haven't seen it yet, you're probably planning to. And even if you're not planning to see it, it will be shown to you. Clockwork Orange style. Except without the lousy classical music. I can't rock out to Beethoven, baby. I need some hardcore death metal. That's what gets me off. Metal.

The music, not the alloy.

So anyway. That's what I've been doing. Filming a movie. And winning several awards. Some of them for my poetry.

I have accolades. Who says I don't?