I hate this virus. I have breasts and I can't even touch them! This sucks.

[ See Jack. See Jack's very clean face -- that's right folks. He's sitting in his cabin GLARING glaring at the screen with his arms folded rather childishly and CLEAN. ]

Commodore, you violated me! Touched my face. [ Pauses briefly then he's making one of those weird disturbed looks ] He didn't do anything else while he was in there, did he? ...Did you all know the Commodore has a tattoo of a very busty mermaid on his arm? I suspect he's secretly some sort of pervert that collects hair.

How horrible this place let someone so vile in my body. I'll have to kill him. I'd do it with a sword but such a twisted mind might enjoy that. I need bullets.

[ Pout ] And I need rum. Lots of rum. Who has rum? Send me some.

Testing 1. 2. 3. Testing. There’s a bit of feedback, maybe if you-- Much better, thank you.

Well. Let’s get started properly, shall we?

Hello. Can you hear me? I don’t have anything terribly clever to say at the moment. Please forgive me for the oversight.

Ah.

This is certainly... different.

Kaito, may I have a word with you?

diligite justitiam, o judices terrae. dixi.
It's been some time, hasn't it? Do tell me how much you've missed me, community~

After running away from Rachel (who tried to kiss me dear god. I am scarred for life) I had to spend the last two days hiding in Finn's room because I was in Finn's body.

Finn, I rearranged a few things and the furniture of your bedroom. Do you ever clean? Your wardrobe is atrocious, not even John Galliano drunk on his ass would wear your clothes. We are going to go shopping as soon as possible. And we need to do something about your T-zone; your skin is still very dry.

[Failed lock to Blaine.]

Blaine, love, are you ok? I'm sorry this happened when we had plans.

[At first all that is heard it the rolling of carriage wheels and a few barks from some dogs or perhaps...wolves? Finally a gruff Scottish voice interrupts.]

Shove off!

[The barks silence and only the sound of the carriage remains.]

I gave the pack the evening off.

[Only silence comes from Alexia but you can practically hear the expression of doubt she is giving her new husband.]

Oh, very well. I told them if they showed their furry faces around Woolsey Castle for the next three days, I would personally eviscerate them.

[Once again silence, though now there is quite a bit of fabrics rustling and some low breathing.]

What are you up to?

I should think that would be obvious by now.

Conall, we are in a moving carriage! Why this constant preference for inappropriate locations of amorous activities?

Mmm, not to worry. I gave the coachman instructions to take the long way around.

[Alexia lets out a very put-upon sign as the audio cuts out.]

[ooc: Canon move for Alexia. Bold is her new husband, Conall. Plaintext is Alexia.]