So, uh. Remember that time last month when we had All The Old Viruses Come Back Week a little early? Well, you may or may not know that I was kiiiiiiind of wasted at the time, thanks to a virus. As in, woke up in a circle of chalk and fake blood for reasons I still don't know.

Well, I just found something at my door. Apparently, the virus wasn't done with me yet. And by that, I mean that I ordered... a thing. An inappropriate thing. That I can't exactly display in my dorm when people are around, especially when "people" means my sister's coming in from out of town.

What do I do with it?