(no subject)

[haha-innuendo.livejournal.com]

Who wants to kill a panda?

After weeks and months, and a large wad of monetary toil, I can now share my boyhood love with the world. Panda hunting. Stalk your own panda on over five hundred lush acres, just waiting to become a blood soaked field of dreams. The first ten customers get their kills skinned and sewn into any anything you could possibly think of by our loyal Chinese work force. Most of them have even been fed. Ha ha, China, the land of dreams. So, who's on board?

[Locked to Birdman // Hackable]

Birdman! I need you in a panda suit and in my office in ten. Starting nine minutes ago.

[/ Locked]

Comments

[pwr-of-attorney.livejournal.com]

Uh, Phil isn't most of that..illegal?

Where am I going to find a panda suit at this hour?

[haha-innuendo.livejournal.com]

Silly, naive Birdman. Law is in the eye of the beholder. And I behold with an eye that sees the world through rose colored glasses.

[pwr-of-attorney.livejournal.com]

Phil, really I think you might want to reconsider this..
Wait do I have to find my own panda suit?

[haha-innuendo.livejournal.com]

Of course you have to find your own suit! Do you expect me to do everything for you? Do I have to dress you too? Well I've got news for you, I don't even dress myself. Much too rich for that, other people do it for me. People much more educated than you. Probably better paid too.

[pwr-of-attorney.livejournal.com]

Right. Panda suit, Phil you know it's..it's 2 in the morning.

[haha-innuendo.livejournal.com]

Do you know what time that translates to in China? Money.

[sun-cutie-plz.livejournal.com]

P-pandas?! No!

[haha-innuendo.livejournal.com]

Not fond of pandas? Give me about a week and I could get some baby rhinos instead.

[sun-cutie-plz.livejournal.com]

B-baby...msre.zjnkehgn

[haha-innuendo.livejournal.com]

No silly, it's spelled R-H-I-N-O. It's like fighting a baby tank that has no ill intent.

[sun-cutie-plz.livejournal.com]

e;fjdlhdg

[haha-innuendo.livejournal.com]

The same reason man has done it for centuries. Since he first stood erect and proud, and defied the clawed and fanged beasts. To survive, to thrive, to live!

Buuuuuut mostly because I can. And I get paid. So can I put you down for one? Two? An entire family? Baby pandas cost extra.

[furyxguns.livejournal.com]

.....

[Laughing his ass off]

Nice. Real nice.

[haha-innuendo.livejournal.com]

Another satisfied soon-to-be-customer. Buy your ticket now!

[oceanicbutterfly]

...

I'm going to report you.

[haha-innuendo.livejournal.com]

Ha! I'll sue for libel!

[oceanicbutterfly]

Your world's legal system lets you sue people who don't exist?

[haha-innuendo.livejournal.com]

It does when they threaten to spread filthy, filthy lies. And not the good kind that involve leather and some sort of wrestling match. I mean the bad kind that involve words and PETA.

[oceanicbutterfly]

...you have fun with that.

[effulgentxx.livejournal.com]

Can I chase that loyal Chinese workforce instead?

[haha-innuendo.livejournal.com]

Ha ha, goodness no. They're like my children! Or so my taxes claim so this counts as a family run business. Every last Ching and Pow and Pong and Kim...wait, Kim's a Korean name. You can have the impostor.

[effulgentxx.livejournal.com]

Exxxcellent.

[haha-innuendo.livejournal.com]

For a nominal fee of $19.99, of course.

[effulgentxx.livejournal.com]

You can take your fee and go bugger yourself.

[haha-innuendo.livejournal.com]

You need at least a 20 for that, sir, I have my principles. And how dare you assume otherwise.

[effulgentxx.livejournal.com]

I don't need to pay you when I can get it for free, mate.

[haha-innuendo.livejournal.com]

This is a quality Korean child! Pure bred! And just look at his teeth. He has most of them. It's almost as if he was snatched away from his home and family in the middle of the night to provide you with quality clothing. Ha ha, human trade.

[effulgentxx.livejournal.com]

Tempting, but I can just steal him later.

[kronocerebral.livejournal.com]

Pandas? How mundane.

[haha-innuendo.livejournal.com]

Mundane? Plain? Unoriginal? Hardly! Pandas are more exotic than my dancing.

ooc:

[sun-cutie-plz.livejournal.com]

Oh god Phil. Muse was pinged SO bad by that icon! vf.skhgtfkmjf.lasfs/d.ljfkasfg;

ooc:

[haha-innuendo.livejournal.com]

It is an awesome icon. Though nothing should be pinged by Phil in that outfit. Ever.

ooc:

[sun-cutie-plz.livejournal.com]

It was his body dammit. Muse likes the muscleeeee.

So not my fault. Dear god it burns.

[shia-o-shima.livejournal.com]

Why would you want to kill a poor panda?

[haha-innuendo.livejournal.com]

Don't let their appearance fool you. Pandas are like the crafty transvestites of animal world. They lure you in with their good looks and BAM! Penis. And by "penis", I mean they'll eat you. If we don't destroy them now, they'll over take up. Haha, Planet of the Pandas.

[shia-o-shima.livejournal.com]

... um, I don't... think so...

And besides, um... Birdman-san is right. It's a bit... illegal to do that, isn't it?

[haha-innuendo.livejournal.com]

Who are we to say what's right and wrong in this world? Morals, ethics, illegocity. It's all in the mind.

[shia-o-shima.livejournal.com]

But what if you go to jail?

[haha-innuendo.livejournal.com]

Jail? Ha! Jail's for chumps.

[shia-o-shima.livejournal.com]

But... if you get arrested, you won't really have much choice, will you?

[notvrgn-really.livejournal.com]

We're talkin' pandas, right? And we're talkin' killin' 'em, right?

Sign me up, man.

[haha-innuendo.livejournal.com]

Correct. Pandas, of the bear variety. With the shifty eyes.

Welcome aboard! Now we're going to need your bank account number so we can remove a paltry chunk of your hard earned monetary lifeblood.

[notvrgn-really.livejournal.com]

...Bank account. Looks like I'm shit outta luck in that department.

[haha-innuendo.livejournal.com]

We also take credit cards, cash, Spanish doubloons, or Nazi gold. And if you can't afford that, we'll settle for your first born! Strictly don't ask, don't tell policy in effect on on that one. Not a word.

[notvrgn-really.livejournal.com]

...Yeah, let's go with that first-born deal. Don't worry, I'll be all hush-hush an' junk.

Oops wrong luppi account

[stranglingvines.livejournal.com]

That sounds AWESOME! But I can't...BUT I WANT TO!

[haha-innuendo.livejournal.com]

What's stopping you? I'm practically giving these pandas away! It's almost like they're all tied to posts just waiting for you to end their suffering.

[stranglingvines.livejournal.com]

Work. I'd love to kill some Pandas. But yeeeaaaah...

[mind-taking.livejournal.com]

Phil, Harvey is right, this is illegal.