dramadramaduck | (no subject)

(no subject)

I seem to be stuck on this site, and it’s not the computer that’s broken. Which means the idiot broke the fucking internet. I’m not as surprised as I should be. If anyone sees Harry Lockhart running around here, restrain him and contact me ASAP. The number should be on his fucking collar, right next to his rabies tag. He might have fleas, so I’d be careful.

Where are my manners? I’m Perry van Shrike, but you can call me Gay Perry. I'm the head of Centurion, L.A.'s finest investigative and consulting firm.

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Same thing happened to me. Stick around for awhile, the browser eventually redirects to wherever you wanted to go. It did for me, at least... I'm Joel Robinson.

So your advice is to wait it out? That's very helpful. Nice to meet you, Joel.

I haven't met anyone who's given me better advice. Besides, it's a good place to kill time.

It's better than breaking something in an attempt to fix it, I'll grant you that. I don't really have a lot of time that needs killing. And, no offense, but most people here seem a little fucked in the head.

Haha, yeah, it's pretty wacky, but most of them are nice kids. Except for the ones who aren't kids... then, they're just nice people. Unless they're not people...

Did you try using a different computer? Maybe it's just the one.

Because so many dogs are surfing the internet. It's a real problem, someone should do something about it.

Both of the office computers are stuck here. Hence my conclusion that the idiot broke the internet.

Or aliens, but yeah. Looks like you're just going to have to accept the strangeness that is this place.

Aliens? You really expect me to believe this?

Not really, but you never know.

It's good to know you managed to hold onto a few of your marbles.

It's kind of important when mad scientists are trying to make you go crazy.

You know, to hold on to some sanity. Or just take everything at face value.

Oh. Well naturally.

Out of curiosity, what is the government broadcasting to you via fillings this week?

Centurion...I've heard that somewhere before. Hm.

Fleas? Ouch. Is this guy your friend?

Perhaps you've heard of us? I like to pretend advertising does something.

No. Sadly, I'm in the habit of taking in dumb animals.

Save yourself the trouble and get a new computer.

Why not just give him a flea bath, or send him back to the pound?

Maybe. I have a thing for mysteries. And advertising definitely works, I tend to drool whenever I see a sign for Tomasi's Greek...

You must have a real sympathetic heart.

I'd rather not waste money unless I need to.

The pound would probably throw him out, and bathing him would involve touching. Stupid isn't usually contagious, but this is Harry and I don't want to risk it.

Kid, real life is boring. I'm hoping our ads don't have the same effect.

I'm feeding the idiot instead of shooting him out behind the woodshed. Trust me, I'm a saint.

Heh. Real life definitely isn't boring. And I'm not a kid.

This is a man, right, not old Yeller?

Just that Area 51 is a giant coverup and that the CIA cafeteria is serving curly fries. The usual Wednesday.

Then be prepared to suffer from the shit this place goes through.

Sadly, it's always contagious with the people you'd rather not catch it from.

The brilliant thing about a computer is I can walk away.

A-fucking-men.

I'm sure they're working up to having you kill a senator.

Wrong on both counts. Would you like to spin the wheel?

Seeing as he walks on two legs, then yes. In theory, he is a man, but I use that term loosely.

No thank you, Your Majesty. (I'm not a kid. Legal and everything.)

I want to hope you'd be more sympathetic to Old Yeller, but you'd probably just shoot the dog, too.

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