dramadramaduck | (no subject)

Well, since Red can't seem to do anything right, or he's too lazy to do anything, or whatever, I don't care --

ATTENTION, ALL PLANETS IN THE MULTIVERSE!

The Irken Empire is a vast and wondrous product of many eras of Tallest, and it requires a lot of detail and attention to actually rule. Being that Tallest Red and I are so superior to our previous Tallests, we've been able to rule without even paying attention to everything! However, even we're so amazing and brilliant, it takes a big toll on us and our work!

So, we're going to go on a vacation, and one of you lucky planets will be hosting us!

Our requirements are as follows:
-Lots of snacks! I mean a lot, we like variety too!
-Vast expanses of dry land where there isn't any water at all ever.
-Loyal and gracious hosts who are used to bending over backwards for people!
-Relaxation!

Planets with these requirements fulfilled, please take a number and let us know! We'll be picking by lottery! Or by whoever's nicest to us.

That is all, fleshlings! Cower in terror, bow down to our awesome might, etcetera etcetera.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's not my fault that the inferior aliens didn't give me a decent answer.

Clearly, this is why I do all of the PR stuff and you just... sit there looking ~~stupid~~ awesome.

You should visit my world, you'd love it! There's swimming pools and oceans and seas and lakes and ponds. You could have a party with squirt guns and water balloons and eat spam, lots of spam, nothing but spam!

It'd be great.

You can't read very well, can you?

I'm great at reading!

Riiiight.

Bla bla bla water, spam spam spam.

Who do you think you are?

I'm the Almighty Tallest Purple. Who are you?

Wait, don't answer that, I don't care!

Oh, now I gotta answer it, just 'cause you told me not to. The name's Rain.

... "almighty tallest"? You're joking, right?

Why would I joke about my title?!

Because it's kinda ridiculous.

Oooh, suuuuure, says the guy whose named after a weather pattern on his silly planet!

At least it's a cool weather pattern. What's so almighty about being tall, anyways?

I'm taller than everyone else, that's what!

... yeah, I still don't get it. You're tall, whoop-de-freakin'-doo.

What's to get?!

How's that make you more important?

I'm... taller than everyone else...?

... yeah, and?

You're back again?

You could go to a special island resort my family co-owns. I'm sure you'd LOVE it.

Do I... know you?

I know one of you freaky bug-things. Can't tell you apart.

Yeah, I can't tell you squishy things apart either.

I think the Mushroom kingdom and Princess Daisy's kingdom are fit for your kind of needs, if you'd like.

Mushroom kingdom?

Yes. It's a beautiful place, and I'm always making delicious cake!

...Cake?

That's right. of course, I could make something else if you don't like cake...

I love cake!

Wonderful! I love to make it, so you could have as much as you like.

I'm sure you'll have the cream of the crop to choose from with that ad.

I thought so too!

...What's "cream of the crop" mean?

Unlikely, herbivore.

Who are you again?

Hibari Kyoya.

Come to this planet and I will blow your ship out of the sky before you can enter the atmosphere.

What are you? And why should I fear you?