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It's been a while since I've posted here, hasn't it? I see that there are quite a few more people than were here last as well .. and I guess that's a good thing when you come wanting advice, huh? I'm Mahoney, to those of you that don't know me .. and I know I really don't know any of you well, but still, an outsiders' opinion would very much be appreciated right now..

Do .. do any of you ever question if you're doing the right thing with your life? What I mean is .. do you ever think that there is something else you who be better suited for? Something that, perhaps, you wanted to do when you were growing up; or even that you were really good at?

I .. I only ask, because I had a bit of an incident at the shop today. Well, not really an incident; that makes it sound like it's such a bigger deal than it is, you know?

I was ringing up a man's purchases today and he happened to recognize me from school. We spoke for a few minutes and he asked me if I was still playing the piano. I said that yes, I was, and he seemed quite pleased by this. He asked where I was playing and I told him that I was playing at home and he seemed embarrassed to have brought it up. He said that I had always played so well and that I 'had just been so talented with my gift.'

He left after that, but the conversation stuck with me and I admit that it was embarrassing to me as well. He's not the first one that has seemed disappointed to find me working in a toy shop and not working on my musical composing. Honestly .. I'm a bit disappointed with myself.

This isn't to say that I don't adore Mr. Magorium and the toy shop! I do, really! But .. I can't help but wonder if I've gone the wrong course in life .. that if I focused only on my music I would be where others expect me to be.

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Yes. I thought that was normal, to want more.

If you're really unsatisfied, you should seize the opportunity to get out of the life you have as soon as it arises.

I don't think it's really wrong to want to do these things, but I also feel like Mr. Magorium needs me here at the shop. He insists that the shop listens better to me than it has to anyone else since he opened it.

I'm just torn, I guess .. I mean, I want to compose .. but then I wonder if there is a way for me to juggle both of these things and be happy. I know that I haven't been able to focus on my composing though .. not since I started there. I feel like I'm putting off the inevitable..

Have you had to make such a decision in the past?

[ooc: OMFG, Sylar! *eats him up*]

Kind of. Only no one was holding me back. But it's not really the same as you. I hated my day job.

... The shop listens?

[ooc: nooooo don't eat him lmfao ;_;]

Well, I'd certainly want to be out of that situation as well, were I to hate my current job. I guess the only thing that's holding me back is me, really. Mr. Magorium is like a father to me, and I'm certain he'd understand if I spoke to him about it directly. Told him my concerns?

Yes, listens. It's a magic toy shop, you see .. I know it's a bit hard to swallow, but I'm being entirely serious. The shop itself is alive with magic, and through the shop, the toys in it are alive as well. It's really quite amazing and wonderful, and that's what is making this so hard for me ..

If you think he would understand, maybe you should talk to him and see what he thinks.

... How does that work?

Perhaps .. I mean, I owe it to him in the very least to let him know. He's been there for me ever since I started working there.

Well, Mr. Magorium is behind it all, really. He brings the magic to the shop .. I really can't explain the technicalities behind it, which I know can be a real bother. He's given the shop life .. it responds to things happening around it; as do the toys inside it. Bouncing balls bounce on their own, stuffed toys hug their children back, toy airplanes fly on their own .. Anything you can imagine, can be. It's really quite extraordinary and I feel horrible for even considering that it might not be for me..

I often wonder if my course of action was the best one, or if I should have pursued other dreams. Yet the life I am living now is richer and more interesting than any I could have possibly forced myself into. There is nothing wrong with avoiding the paths that others expect you to tread.

Do you ever find yourself wondering 'what if' or any of that, or regret that you did one thing over the other?

I can't say one life s richer than the other, as I never focused on my music. It kind of fell to the wayside after I came to the Emporium..

I'm sure this seems all to silly a thing to fret about to the people here, doesn't it?

Yes, often. But one cannot live ones life only with regrets.

Music is important, but it is a pleasure that can be both enjoyed alone and with a group. Though I believe there is no greater art - it is hardly one every person with talent should be expected to pursue.

Hardly. It is these doubts which make us human.

Even though the replies are only textual comments, his warmth and thought of answer doesn't escape Mahoney and she smiles.

You speak like someone that has stumbled across this problem more than once in his own life. I tend to live life far more optimistically than this and have certainly never doubted myself to this level before. I know I can't live life in the negative, or I'll simply surround myself with and bring more negatives upon myself. It's just hard sometimes, you know?

I think I will speak to Mr. Magorium about my concerns and maybe see what he has to say about it. At the very least, I owe him enough to tell him what I am considering. He's like a father to me and I'm sure he'd be willing to hear me out if I pulled him aside.

Maybe I can just adjust my hours and find time for both in the future. I mean, I won't know until I try, right?

She smiles again to herself as he lays several concerns aside with one answer.

Thank you, Sir. I really do appreciate your kind words and support. I'm Molly Mahoney, but everyone calls me Mahoney.

Indeed. There are times when I too have had to be rescued from despair. The universe can be a dark and lonely place - made only worse by ones own thoughts and fears.

Any master or teacher should be willing to listen and give advice. Your choice seems to be a sensible course of action.

It is amazing what one can fit into a lifetime, if one is dedicated and fortunate. I wish you luck in perusing both your dreams. It may not be easy, but it will be worth it.

I am Ton Elloran n’Taanyel Tath. But please, call me Elloran, Miss Mahoney.

[ooc: and here I was worried that using a famous singer as a PB would irritate people. I'm glad I was wrong! *Elloran will happily huggle you back*

She smiles softly to herself at the eloquence he seems to respond with.

I think we all need a bit of a rescue from time to time. I can only thank you for stepping in and offering a kind bit of advice when I was in need of it, myself.

And thank you, again, for your well wishes .. I think I might need them in the future.

She cants a brow to herself at his name, but her smile is ever present as he tells her the shorter version thereof.

It's a pleasure to meet you, Elloran .. please, just Mahoney.

For a moment Elloran is reminded of his sister, and the thought brings a sad smile to his face. 'let her have more luck...'

Yes. And help can come from the strangest places. Even across a computer, or from the lips of a child.

All that I ask is that you someday return the favor. We all need good advice, from time to time.

Oh? I would hope that you are not going into danger.

Elloran is perhaps to easily worried - but he would rather not loose a potential friend so soon.

As you wish, Mahoney.

[ooc: Yes, they are! ^.^ And I'm glad Ell/Jov could bring some light into your day! :D]

Mahoney smiles again, happy that a few have come to offer stable advice. With Elloran it is better, as he brought not just that, but friendship.

I've found this to be far truer than many would believe, and would never discount help offered. Life is full of unexpected twists and turns.

I can do that and better. I've nothing against helping those in need if I am at all able. I am a fond believer in 'pay it forward' .. it costs me nothing to be a friend and offer advice if I have it.

Oh, no, no danger at all. Just a lot of decision making to be had .. I try to keep myself out of trouble.

His concerns brings a soft smile to her face, a flush coloring her cheeks. She was not used to receiving or needing such from others and it felt .. nice, to have it offered without hesitation or warranting.

Thank you, Elloran. I really do appreciate you taking the time to speak with me. I hope I haven't interrupted your day?

[ooc: squees!]

Indeed. It would be boring if life were all the same. The twists and turns sometimes take one to the most interesting and memorable experiences of a life - the ones that make it truly worth living.

That is a good philosophy on life, and a rare one in my universe. Perhaps I too should learn to 'pay it forward'. It does cost little to offer friendship and support to those in need.

Ah. That is a wise precaution - one that I myself have not always followed.

Hardly. This conversation has been a highlight of the last few weeks.

She smiles at his words, laughing before typing back again.

Quite so! I wouldn't be here at the Emporium without those very twists and turns, and it's certainly made my life more interesting. I'd never have even known about magic like this if I hadn't.

Yes, pay it forward .. there was a film made here in my world about the concept and it was very sweet. I think the thought behind the idea is very much passable through time, no matter what world or place you might be in.

She chuckles again.

Do you find yourself often in trouble, Elloran? *smile*

Oh good! I must agree that it has been a highlight of my own.

Exactly.

It seems a much kinder way of approaching the world, especially in comparison to the high compassion I have been instructed upon.

It depends on what one might define as 'trouble'. I am rarely in any physical danger.

He smiles.

You've been instructed quite well if that's something they taught you in your schooling, Elloran. You're a good deal ahead of many people in this world and several others, I've no doubt.

She cants a brow, smiling at this.

Oho, so not physical danger, hmm? If not physical, where else might your source of trouble come from?

I worry that none of my companions have taken to the lesson either. It is far to easy to be powerful and cruel.

Tch. The endless games I must play. It seems that no matter where I go I cannot escape them.

She tssks softly.

I am sorry that you have suffered such friendships, if I might call them such, Elloran. It's always sad when your peers don't see things quite as reasonably as they should.

She is smiling again and actually leans in to click on her cam feed, her smile remaining as she rests on her elbows and speaks to the camera.

Why do I fear that when you say 'games' that you do not mean the kind you play on boards, Elloran?

Indeed. I would hope that you yourself have been more lucky with your companions.

Oh, we do play makrugh on boards. But the games are linked to the fate of cities and worlds. I do not think of it as a pleasant game at all.

Oh, I have been quite lucky of such, yes.. Eric, Bellini and Mr. Magorium here at the shop and others outside of it.

One thing Mahoney can't do is hide emotion very well. She looks a bit embarrassed as she continues, but like she is trying to cover it.

I mean, there aren't too terribly many out there in the big old world, but I've been. Generally supportive and willing to help if I ask. I can't complain, right?

She gives a half shrug and smiles a bit before her smile slips a bit at his words.

I should think not, Elloran .. do all men of your world carry such a weight on their shoulders?

[He laughs, but not at her; her embarrassment is completely unnecessary in his mind.] One can always complain, Mahoney. Even when the world is bright and wonderful. It is rare that someone can find the joy and beauty in even a 'normal' life.

No. Merely men who hold the same occupation as I. There are many within my galaxy who have escaped the burden of compassion.

((ooc: Elloran and Karakael are from a series of books called The Inquest by Somtow Sucharitkul. Its a rather odd science fiction series that went out of print in the 80's. ~~Its really cheap on amazon, not that I've looked, and I can provide links if you'd like...~~ I fangirl it a bit too much sometimes. ^.^;;))

[She flushes lightly at his laughter, but not due to feelig badly or foolish.]

Well, I guess I could complain, but there is really little sense in it when it's nothing big to fret about. I mean, I have so very little to worry about hat it seems a bit trivial. I just get a bit lonely sometimes ..

[The last slips out before she can stop herself and she flushes even brighter in reaction to the slip.]

Oh, God!! Listen to me! [She waves it off and tries to laugh.] That was terribly exaggerated! I really enjoy my life here, honestly.

[She moves to change the subject before she humiliates herself entirely.]

And what is your occupation, Elloran? And who are these people that feel free from the pull of compassion? I don't believe I would be a better person without compassion..I think it would be a cold place to be without it.

[ooc: I would be delighted for the links! I'm always looking for new material and his world and canon seems really interesting! :)]

We all get lonely sometimes, Mahoney. Its no crime to admit it.

[But he lets the subject shift, knowing full well how painful that direction conversations about loneliness can go. Plus, he actually enjoys talking about his work.]

I am an Inquestor of the High Inquest, which rules the Dispersal of Man in the Milkyway Galaxy. We Inquestors have taken it upon ourselves to accept the burden of high compassion so that the rest of humanity is free of it. [He pauses] It is not that they cannot feel the pull of compassion but...its more that they do not have to make the decisions that must be made to ensure that humanity expands and progresses.

((ooc: :D Well, here's (http://dramadramaduck.pbworks.com/The-Inquest) the DDDwiki article on it. (I swear, I'll expend it further as soon as I finish rereading the cannon again.) And some snippits (http://hok-ton.livejournal.com/4857.html#cutid1) of the original work that I typed up. Also, all (http://www.amazon.com/DAWNING-SHADOW-Light-Sound-Inquestor/dp/055325359X/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252616390&sr=1-4) four (http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=the+throne+of+madness&x=0&y=0) books (http://www.amazon.com/Utopia-Hunters-Chronicles-Inquest-Inquestor/dp/0553245260/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252616495&sr=1-3) on Amazon (http://www.amazon.com/Darkling-Wind-Somtow-Sucharitkul/dp/B001UPKL7Q/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252616541&sr=1-2). Plus, I'd be happy to answer any questions you might have! *goes off to type up a bunch of the poetry from the series*))

Hmmm been there a bit myself actually. It's your life. You're not living it unless you're doing something you enjoy.

She smiles at this response, at one time knowing she'd have immediately questioned being responded to by a meerkat that looks to be one right out of one of her favorite childhood films.

Thank you for your kind words and advice. I do agree that if you aren't enjoying your life, there is obviously room for change in it. If you can't make yourself happy in life, what can you do?

I'm Mahoney ..

[ooc: Oh my. Mahoney has certainly seen The Lion King. How is Timon for the whole 4th wall dealio?]

Of course! And if the world laughs at you, you just laugh back at the world.

Mahoney, nice to meet you. Name's Timon.

At his reply, she boggles a bit, hands rising to cover her face. When they drop, she is smiling brightly to herself in disbelief.

Timon? I really can't believe I'm typing this, but you are one of the most adorable characters in The Lion King! I simply fell in love with your outlook on life!

[ooc: yay!]

Characters? Lion King? Well I've been told I'm quite a character sometimes, haha!

She blinks, not understanding what the little meerkat isn't understanding.

Well, yes .. 'The Lion King' is a film here .. it came out about 15 years ago. I must have seen it, oh goodness ... 10 or 11 times at the theatre.

We .. we even sell toys here from it ..

She looks at the computer, at a bit of a loss of how this is going. She reaches over and activates the webcam, turning it on. She looks concerned and like she's said too much, perhaps.

Yes. But then I remind myself why I do what I do.

But sacrifices are necessary.

And as long as you can find something you enjoy about your current position, there's no reason at all to dwell on the past. ~~Much~~

^{(Strike not there)}

She tilts her head curiously as she reads over this response, smiling a bit.

Well, I will grant you that sacrifices come and go throughout ones' life, do they not? I think anything worth having is certainly worth fighting for; my only problem right now is .. I'm uncertain what I want..

She sighs softly as she finishes typing this, lifting a hand and chewing lightly on her nails.

Yes

You're young. There's no rush.

Besides, it probably feels nice, aimlessly wondering with options.

She nods to herself, smiling at Mr. Crocker.

No, I suppose there isn't any rush to make a decision .. I just want to let Mr. Magorium know when I do.

And it can be nice .. but confusing to ..

I'm Mahoney, by the way .. I don't think I introduced myself when we last spoke.

Well, if he's your boss, you probably should.

No, I don't believe you did... Or I did for that manner.

Denzel Crocker, Mahoney. I'm a school teacher and fairy researcher.

^{Even though the second one is more of a 'hobby'}

Well, he's more than just my boss; Mr. Magorium is closer to a father to me. I couldn't just leave and not explain to him why, or talk to him about any problem I was having.

It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Crocker .. Is that why you were so interested in the shop's magic when we spoke last?

Well, if he's like 'a father' to you. Wouldn't that technically make it easier, explaining the problem to him?
I'm sure he'd rehire you in which case, if what you wanted to really do, didn't work out.

Yes, actually. ^{Call it simple curiosity what was causing the magic to happen in the shop.}

Yes, but conversely, I want to dissapoint him even less for the sake of him being such a close person to me. Oh, it's just all so difficult .. I've a bit of time before making a decision, but I can't put it off forever.

Well, Mr. Magorium brings the shop it's magic, actually. I really don't know the specifics of it all, but I can assure you that it exists. I was a bit of a dreamer in my school years, but it's even more fantastic than anything I would have believed!

Yes, you do. You're putting way too much pressure on yourself.

Well... Prehaps, I could come over and there and investigate sometime.

Oh, I'm rather aware magic exists.

She smiles to herself lightly, wondering if she is, in fact, doing just that.

You're right, of course .. I seem to constantly stress myself out that way.

I would be more than happy to put you up for a time, Mr. Crocker. I've made the offer to a few, and think it would be extraordinary to have someone see it through.

She tilts her head curiously before replying.

How so, Mr. Crocker, if you don't mind my asking, of course..

Just don't get your hopes too far up.

^{You only fall that much harder}

Thank you. I'll get back you on that.

^{It is the school year after all and I have young minds to mold. Plus I need to find a world hop that won't affect my health.}

Where is the shop, anyways?

Oh, you do?

Well, I could try using my tracker.

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[Text post - all replies as such unless noted]

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asfjfkjfshdfg I want to put him in my pocket for always! :D

(sorry this is late D: )

Same for me .. came down with strep on Monday and was at e.r. yesterday. bad month for me, heh.

*sends hugs and well wishes*

Thank You! Antibiotics are a god-send!

<3<3

I am fail at responses when I'm not at work. D:

At least we can fail together?

I can go for that! :3

^.^

*squees* What is his canon? I must to be knowing!

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sends hugs and well wishes

squees What is his canon? I must to be knowing!