dramadramaduck | (no subject)

(no subject)

Question.

What do you do when your jackass of a friend gets drafted into an occult and stops talking to you and his dad doesn't do anything about it either?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Knew it. Harmless.

Got cash? Goods? Anything to offer?

Didn't ask you.

None of the above. I tried to bribe him with a motorcycle but he basically told me to get lost.

Not him, dummy. Pay me.

I'm pretty badass, y'know.

How badass? There's four of them plus my friend. And they're all huge.

That's five of them to me? That's such an imbalance it's practically criminal. Let's give them four more big henchmen to use against me just to make it at least fun for me!

I'm almost tempted to offer you the motorcycle instead just so I can see whether you really are any good or not.

They're all guys, right? No girls? I don't make a hobby outtah hittin' girls.

I wouldn't ask you to hit a girl. But yes, they're all guys.

And there're fewer of them than there are nipples on me.

................... I forgot you were the guy with supposedly six nipples...

Yes there are fewer.

So, I'm gettin' a motorcycle with a full tank. Yer coverin' my transport to yer place 'n back.

I want a load of my laundry done, too.

And somethin' to eat. Y'owe me dinner. Breakfast. Lunch. Whatever time it is when I finish it up.

I'll go easy on ya since it sounds pretty lightweight.

Wait. Why laundry too?

Actually I just don't get around to it too often, so I ran outtah clean underwear 'n I've been goin' commando for about three days now so I figure my pants're gonna need an extra good washing after that, and we're a kinda big crew, 'n half of them smell like animals, literally, so it's just better for everyone if their stinkier clothes get priority and...

I'll pay for you to get over here if anyone charges, and go home. You can have the motorcycle, full tank. And I'll even throw in a home-cooked meal.

As for laundry. I'll do your laundry, not the whole crews'. And only if you prove that you have six nipples.

Just my laundry, just mine, don't worry.

The nipple deal still stands at I'll show you mine if you show me yers.

I'm not showing mine. That's really not going to happen.

And I'm not doing your laundry unless I get see.

What kind of man do you think I am? You think I flash just any good lookin' girl who expresses interest in me?

You get clean clothes for it.

Pass. You at least a good cook? I'll let the laundry thing slide since the meal's even gonna be homemade...

I cook every night for my dad. I'm a great cook.

Aww. Whadda good girl.

Sounds like we got a deal.

It's that or eat out every night.

Looks like it. See if you can find a hop to Forks, Washington. 2010. Earth.

( OOC: Want to handle any plotting either over on my Plot Post, AIM, Plurk, or such? Are there any other DDD players involved in the scenes that this will bring up? That sort of thing. )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only