004 « video

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

[Locked from anyone in Angel Investigations]

So there's awkward moments, and then there's... awkward moments.

Have any of you ever lived in the same city as an ex? Like not just an ex ex, but like a really... serious sort of ex, with the heartbreak and the horrible crushing sense of starcrossed-ed-ness, and the Hell dimensions and...

Ok, not necessarily the Hell dimensions part.



But how do you deal with it? How do you deal with going to the store and just running into them in the middle of the street? I mean you can't just pretend you don't see them and keep walking, and then when you don't, it quickly turns into awkward small talk and fake smiles and not knowing what to do with your hands, and looking for excuses to leave without ever really wanting to leave....


And then what if they do leave? All... abrupt... y.  And not like they were just uncomfortable too, because that would make sense, but like something was honestly off.  

I guess asking for a normal old Yuletide is packing the wish list a little too tight, huh?

Should've stuck with asking for a pony.

Comments

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

What? No. No no no. There is no thing that we... have. Except a hate thing. Past, present, or future.




Who told you that?

[intuitivelyapt.livejournal.com]

Spike. Who else?

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

He is so doubly dead.

[intuitivelyapt.livejournal.com]

Well, he didn't say you currently had a thing. I was just taking a stab in the dark.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Word of evidence: don't take anything he says remotely seriously.

[intuitivelyapt.livejournal.com]

I'm learning as much.

So, what is the problem, anyway? While we're sharing this heart-to-heart.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

"Complicated" doesn't really cover it.

[intuitivelyapt.livejournal.com]

You could try me regardless.

Filter;

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

The ex in question's a vampire. I'm a Slayer. There's not very much math involved.

Though that's not even the complicated part.

Filter;

[intuitivelyapt.livejournal.com]

What is?

Filter;

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

The part where any time he experiences a moment of total happiness, he loses the soul that keeps him from going all psycho killer on the neighborhood and all my friends.

Filter;

[intuitivelyapt.livejournal.com]

Yeah ... that sounds like it could be problematic. Kind of puts the damper on any chances of a functional relationship, huh.

Filter;

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

... Kind of. My friends can hardly deal with him still being in the city, let alone...

[Sigh] It's just easier if we... stay apart. But not easy at all.

Filter;

[intuitivelyapt.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I wonder what the point of it all is. Relationships. Feeling. The only thing it leaves you with is a broken heart.

Filter;

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Most people's can't be like this. I mean the circumstances are... extreme...

Filter;

[intuitivelyapt.livejournal.com]

Circumstances are always extreme. Love is extreme.

Filter;

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

You sound like you know something about it.

Filter;

[intuitivelyapt.livejournal.com]

I know a lot of things about love. But nothing helpful.

Filter;

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

I guess 'Dear Abby' it is.

Filter;

[intuitivelyapt.livejournal.com]

I really ... there was someone on the community I was really close to. Maybe I loved them. I don't know. But I fucked up and then they left. But it wasn't some big dramatic thing, know? They acted so normal. And then, one day, poof. Nothing. Gone without a trace.

So I left, too. I couldn't deal with it. I couldn't deal with our friends or with knowing that something had happened and it was all my fault. I think I would have rather had them stay and deal with that kind of awkwardness rather than ... that.

Filter forever; /lazy

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Waitaminute, not to interrupt your heartbreak hotel story, but I thought people couldn't just... leave this thing. That it likes to get all stalkeratti on us.

[intuitivelyapt.livejournal.com]

It spits everyone out, sooner or later. Sometimes if you neglect it long enough, you can expedite the process. Sometimes you can't. It's like winning the lottery.

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Maybe the community just up and quit on them, did you consider that?

I kind of think it doesn't exactly like us using it to make ourselves happier anyways.

[intuitivelyapt.livejournal.com]

It's a little too coincidental for me.

[IGNORING THAT LAST PART]

[cuzitswrong.livejournal.com]

Pardon my attempted optimism.