dramadramaduck | [oo4] daydreams

Entry tags:

seiju shikibu

[oo4] daydreams

[The daydream is displayed from a first-person perspective, obviously that of a child, running into a kitchen with small arms out in front of him, hands visible. A beautiful woman with red-painted lips and waist length black hair in a hime cut turns, her mouth curved up into a warm smile, and a handsome blonde man folds his newspaper in half, putting it aside.

The woman turns and bends, leaning in to the child, arms extending to him, everything is warm, and perfect. You can almost smell the homemade breakfast in the air.]

Seiju...my Seiju. You're smiling. Don't ever stop smiling, Seiju, or all your happiness will elude you...remember that, okay?

[As she speaks, blood dribbles from the corner of her mouth, and the entire daydream falls apart, with only darkness and blood on pavement, and his knees visible, hands against them.]

'It's funny, even in a daydream, I can never hold on to that morning.'

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A-are you... are you all right?

Oh! I'm perfectly fine. I didn't realize that was being broadcast, or I'm afraid I would've thought about something much more pleasant.

Do you think about morbid things like that often...?

[his voice is slightly stuffed up]

Ah, unfortunately so, that one in particular. It's one of my recurring nightmares, I suppose you could say.

I'm sorry. Things like that... I know that they can plague you for a long time.

Mm. It's as she said - I just have to remember to keep smiling, and everything will be fine, right?

...Sorry, but that's wrong. Smiling when you're unhappy is worse than even tears.

[that actually startles a small laugh out of him]

You really do sound like Shouta-kun!

I hope that's a good thing.

Of course it is, though sometimes it's a bit unnerving to hear someone else say such things. You know, at one point, Shouta-kun threatened to have me removed from his team if I wouldn't stop smiling. He's a strange man.

No, I think that's reasonable. Human beings go through a variety of emotions, and should be able to express all of them. When we're sad, we can frown or cry and ask for comfort. When we're happy, we laugh or smile, but we aren't happy all of the time. Someone who always smiles is more strange than that.

That's exactly what he said, but unfortunately it's still second-nature to simply smile and hope it will pass, isn't it? Asking for comfort seems so alien.

Even one's nature can be changed with concentrated effort over a long period of time.

Perhaps, to some extent. But I think some things are constant.

And it's difficult to discount my mother's last words to me after so long.

I understand that. I am sorry.

Seiju...

You have no reason at all to be sorry, Issei-kun. You're a very kind person, and somehow you've managed to get me to speak more about this than I have in quite some time. That's hardly cause for an apology.

I'm quite alright, it was just a passing thought.

Still, I'd like to express sympathy somehow.

It's alright. It happened...a very long time ago, and I'm finding ways to adjust, still.

I wish you well. I don't always know what to say.

It's fine. There's no words that will make life entirely good again, only actions, and most of them have to be actions that I take. Still, a few words can change a lot of things, as Shouta-kun demonstrated. I think you will too.

It's strange to think of myself as someone who might have friends outside of work!

That's your parents, isn't it?

You should try and get used to it. I'm not planning on going away any time soon.

You won't?

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[oo4] daydreams

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