(no subject)

[h8ers_gonna_h8]

[ It's a normal daydream for Vriska-- she's the most badass of the pirates, her enemies are throwing themselves at her feet after she defeats them in single combat, she's swimming in piles of loot, etc. etc. all going as expected.

And then her first mate comes into the cabin and he is looking very sexy in his wifebeater and jeans and scraggly hair (and glasses? no, those are gone a second later, this is 100% nic cage). In fact, he comes in a few times, as she thinks about what would be the most dramatic, but she settles on him coming in drenched from the rain while explosions occur behind him ]

"The fleet's taken care of, Humminbird."

[ she quirks her lips ]

"You would dare to address your superior officer in such a personal manner?"

"Ah reckon that right's been earned, what with me savin' your life yesterday."

"A technicality. Surely I would have released myself within seconds, had you not deigned to carry out your natural duties as my first mate."

[ yadda yadda the florid pirate prose continues, and after TENSE BANTER and MEANINGFUL LOOKS MindfangVriska and Nic Cage fall into each other's arms and commence with the sloppy makeouts. ]

Comments

[losethreepounds.livejournal.com]

Nicolas Cage?

[h8ers_gonna_h8]

SH8T!!!!!!!!

[losethreepounds.livejournal.com]

Sh-what?

1/2; not here

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

[don't laugh don't laugh don't laugh LAUGHING WOULD BE MEAN YOU LIKE VRISKA AND DON'T WANT TO BE MEAN TO HER DON'T YOU DARE LAUGH]

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

Is that... someone from the community?

[100thbrokendish.livejournal.com]

[h8ers_gonna_h8]

Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit!

[h8ers_gonna_h8]

No!!!!!!!!

[h8ers_gonna_h8]

What????????

[100thbrokendish.livejournal.com]

[exceedingwords.livejournal.com]

[losethreepounds.livejournal.com]

... You know everybody's going to have forgotten about this in like three days, right? Calm down.

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

Hm. He looks a little familiar.

[h8ers_gonna_h8]

Who, me?
I am c8lm.
I am so calm!
There is no one who c8uld 8eat me in a calm-off!!!!!!!!

[h8ers_gonna_h8]

He's from a movie and this is totally n8rmal and everyone should stop m8king such a big de8l a8out it already!!!!!!!!

[h8ers_gonna_h8]

Don't think I c8n't read your tone!!!!!!!!
This is normal, okay? Totally nothing to get 8ll in my f8ce a8out!!!!!!!!

[exceedingwords.livejournal.com]

[losethreepounds.livejournal.com]

Oh my god if I had known you were one of those guys I would so not have commented.

What's with the eights and the text that makes my eyes bleed?

[peoplesprincess.livejournal.com]

If people are making a big deal about it, then they're being pathetic and you should tell them off.

[h8ers_gonna_h8]

Excuuuuuuuuse me?
Fine, miss fussyfangs, I'll just st8p offending you with my presence and let you get on with sitting primly next to your l8dyfriend!
Unless you want me to catch you when you f8int from the vulgarity????????

[h8ers_gonna_h8]

It's my quirk, duuuuuuuuh!
If you ask nicely, I miiiiiiiight drop it.

[h8ers_gonna_h8]

Who's m8king a 8ig deal a8out it?
I'm not!
Are you?
There's nothing even here to m8ke a 8ig deal a8out!!!!!!!!

[h8ers_gonna_h8]

It had 8etter not 8e!

[100thbrokendish.livejournal.com]

[losethreepounds.livejournal.com]

What do you want me to say? Can you pretty pretty please stop typing like an eleven-year-old on AOL?