dramadramaduck | [Video]

[Video]

[This is clearly an intentional video. A possibly familiar face grins at the camera, although it's unclear what exactly is recording.]

I don't know how I missed - I mean, I decided to start using the recording function. Naturally, everyone outside will want to see my exploits once this is over, right? There's not much to see right now, since the preliminaries are still going on, but I've gained my Servant, who's - well, I can't give too much away in case anybody's listening, right? Not that it matters with my level of skill.

If you haven't heard of me yet, I'm not sure what rock you've been living under, but my name's Matou Shinji. I'm the future champion of this Holy Grail War. Nice to meet you.

[He leans over to type on something, and the video cuts.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You're back.

I think I'd remember being here before.

Isn't that convenient for you, you sick bastard?

...Huh?

Well, to be fair, you look a bit younger. Maybe you have no idea yet.

I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.

I'll be keeping an eye on you, lad.

You're weird.

I usually only get that after people notice I'm a duck.

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Wait... I remember you. You were the sick bastard who was actually bragging about raping his sister.

Ugh.

I think your memory is faulty. I don't know you, I'm not disgusting, and I don't have a sister.

Really? Because there was a guy on here, not too long ago, who looked just like you, with the exact same name, who bragged about that kind of thing.

That doesn't make me suddenly become a piece of trash just because you're spouting off about some copycat.

And how exactly am I supposed to know if there is a copycat or not? You look and sound like the other Shinji that was on this community before. For all I know, you could be lying right now.

Every kid in the world could be secretly lying about being a decent person - do you seriously accuse everybody of this?

I'm suspicious by nature, but I usually leave that kind of accusation for those who I've seen brag about it.

If you don't believe me, you can anyone who has been on here for almost a year.

How do you prove that you're an only child exactly? It's not like my parents are here. I can prove that the NPC programmed to act like a sister would be physically impossible for me to do anything to - one second.

...I need to see proof that you don't have a sister. Now.

Geeze, demanding... Okay, so you're expecting my sister to be the NPC Sakura who's programmed to have that role in the preliminaries, right? I can't think of anybody else you'd think was related to me.

I think that was her name...? [Flipping open a book, okok, there we are!] Yes, Sakura! That's her. The other "Shinji" that was here admitted to doing a lot of nasty stuff, and the community does not look kindly on violence against children! So they had him eaten by zombies.

So, you're in a video game?

Urgh. That does not sound pleasant. [Not that he really believes it actually happened yet.]

Yep. Virtual reality.

Yes. Suffice to say that anyone found picking on kids here is likely to die horriblely, ok? Don't do it. If you're going to be a villain, pick on someone your own size.

...so, you're not a video game character, but a player who has gotten inside a game?

[AS A VIDEO GAME VILLAIN, BOTH OF THESE ARE RELEVANT TO HIS INTERESTS]

Works for me. I have no interest in beating up someone who isn't even a challenge. It wouldn't help my reputation at all.

Of course. The Holy Grail War has tons of players from the entire world competing, and I'm going to be the champion! Unfortunately, that means sitting through generic video game environment filler until the game gets started... Can't they hurry up with selection?

That's the spirit! With that attitude, you'll be able to show you're not the other Shinji in no time!

This isn't like the real Holy Grail War where everyone dies, right?

Shinji's not an uncommon name, you know. I don't want to be mistaken for some dick who just happens to have my name.

Of course not. I heard that the game is based on some real war from decades ago, but do you honestly think this many people would risk being the loser and dying? There's over a hundred participants by now. I guess some people are just that stupid, but still.