The PSA he never thought he'd have to make

[dekillerqueen]

I have a simple, quick announcement that should put many of you at ease (and, perhaps, disappoint just as many):

I will not be able to conduct business in worlds where superhuman beings or magical forces are predominant, as I am, contrary to what some may have you believe, a human being.

That is all.

Comments

[ video ]

[soulfist]

I thought this announcement would be you confessing your obvious love for me...

I'm so disappointed.

Video

[hawkblocker]

Sounds like you need a better business if whatever it is can't be conducted just because you're human.

[dekillerqueen]

... Miss, are you serious?

[dekillerqueen]

My qualifications never had the obligation of extending beyond what is possible in my world.

[hawkblocker]

But you can use them in worlds that don't have magic?

[Video]

[material_guy]

He's just making excuses for a recent complete 'n total failure. Don't give him too hard a time. It's rough on old geezers realizing they ain't what they used to be, especially when what they used to be was a pretty hyped up, big deal.

[dekillerqueen]

Most certainly.

[Video]

[hawkblocker]

[A low chuckle.]

I see. I suppose I can't blame him; dealing with your age is never a pleasant thing, I'm sure.

[Video]

[material_guy]

Fffft. Crybaby monks, that Touchdown rival you had, and pacifistic girly men got more balls than you.

[hawkblocker]

What is your business, anyway?

[dekillerqueen]

Mister Greed, stay out of this.

[ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO RESTATE THE WORST THOUGHTS GOING THROUGH SHELLY'S MIND.]

[Video]

[material_guy]

'specially since it's the family business, 'n he blew his last chance on gettin' a blood heir. And now he's gettin' to old to train one even if he adopts, y'know? Anyone he trains ain't ever gonna live up to him in his prime if he's only gettin' trained by a guy at this level, who's gotta make excuses his follow-up's gonna let himself adopt...

Really, gettin' old can be tough...

[video]

[material_guy]

You brought me into this.

[ video ]

[material_guy]

Don't get yer hopes too high on him. Bet he don't have the stuff to stick it in somethin' inhumanly hot, either.

[Video]

[hawkblocker]

If he doesn't let the trainee hear the excuses, it shouldn't be so troublesome to train a replacement... But then, humans get old far too early. Maybe he doesn't have time.

[dekillerqueen]

I am a professional assassin, sir. My name is Shelly de Killer.

[Video]

[material_guy]

He don't. He's in that line of work and already scared of, what, half the fuckin' community? His days're numbered and he knows it.

He's just tryin' to save his legacy from showin' too many signs of decay at the end.

[hawkblocker]

Ah- that would explain it. My apologies for the assumption. I can understand your reluctance now.

...although. "de Killer"?

[dekillerqueen]

Be quiet.

[Video]

[hawkblocker]

Poor young one. It must be embarassing to have to announce this.

But still, focusing on human opponents isn't such a bad thing. It's far less of a risk.

[Video]

[material_guy]

But when he's only sayin' it 'cause he just found out he can't handle a basically normal guy, who didn't even make a swing at him or use a single magic-or-whatever ability to attack him or even threaten him... Well, it's not even about risk then, unless you mean riskin' yer pride over bein' incompetent.

[material_guy]

Be competent.

[Video]

[hawkblocker]

[Alright, he has to laugh.]

He'll get over the loss of pride, surely. He doesn't sound like the cowardly type. But if he's too old to handle it, he's too old to handle it.

[Video]

[material_guy]

Well, y'see, the bigger problem's probably that he's a failure at man-to-man things that got nothin' to do with power... For example, if he's got a problem with someone, he needs someone else to give him an excuse to go deal with it with 'em.

He's just at that difficult age.

[Video]

[hawkblocker]

Maybe he needs a little training of his own, then. You seem like you know what's wrong with him. Why not help him out?