[Text]

[scrums_and_whatnot]

Ahoy dramadramaduck!!!

*adjusts collar and clears throat as i step up to the virtual microphone*

Not to come off as a dadblasted ingrate but im in a bit of a pickle right now and im wondering if one of you fine gents and undoubtedly extra fine ladies as well would be willing to help me out! You see im pretty fucking sure that one of my best friends is screwing with me.

And i mean that in the OH HO HO HO LETS PLAY A PRANK ON THAT FUNNY GUY JAKE WOULDNT THAT BE THE PLUMMIEST PLUM OF A GREAT FRIGGIN IDEA sense. Not in the suggestive sense in the least if youre reading this strider i dont want to hear any of your guff!

Anyway!!

I have to admit that when it comes to technological knowhow im not the best or even the second best hacker i know. So here i sit whistling out of my bum hole and unable to surf the net unless its to ride my sweet board right up to this particular website right here. And while im sure its a frightfully interesting website i have shit to do! Not to mention i have no friggin idea how to fix this problem myself. So i figure i shall just have to appeal to the kind and beneficent masses and hope one of you is willing and able to throw me a bone.

Please help me waterfowl enthusiasts! Youre my only hope!

Oh yes i just realized that i neglected to introduce myself like a punch-drunk twit.

Jake english at your service ladies and gents!

Comments

[zuipperpips]

omggggggggg jake
k just to be clear
this wasnt me
but your gonna shit your knickerbockers when you fig it out

[scrums_and_whatnot]

*coughs*
Roxy my dear i hate to tell you this.
But while i have to admit that my first suspicion was ninety-eight percent strider on this one, the fact that youre the first one to reply doesnt do much to take the heat off of you!!

[zuipperpips]

k i know my charm an sass is frankly dazzling
but you gotta revise that nubmer down to liek 60% okok
ds isnt rly much of a hacker tbh

[t4st1ngs]

...4H4H4H4H4H4H4H OH MY GOG
R34LLY
R34LLY
4R3 YOU ON3 OF THOS3 HUM4NS TH3 1NT3RN3T C4LLS 4 "BR1T1SH BLOK3"
4ND H4S 4 STUP1D H4T 4ND PR3T3NDS TO B3 4W3SOM3 4ND 4LL TH4T?
B3C4US3 YOUR3 H1L4R1OUS
1 FUCK1NG LOV3 TH1S COMMUN1TY

[scrums_and_whatnot]

Excuse me, miss or my good sir as is appropriate, but im not sure where you got that screwy idea.
Im not british in the least!
I live on an island in the south pacific if you want to get technical about it.
About as far from england as its possible to get and still be on the same friggin planet!
Also the state of my headwear is really not the issue here.

[t4st1ngs]

PFFFFFFFFFT 4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4
1 KN3W 1T
YOU 4R3 ON3
OH GOG D4V3 N33DS TO S33 TH1S SOM3T1M3
H1M 4ND D4V3SPR1T3 WOULD H4V3 4 M4R4THON OF S1CK F1R3S 4ROUND 4LL TH1S BLOK1SHN3SS OF YOURS
M1ST3R J4K3 3NGL1SH! >:o
S33 3V3N YOUR N4M3 1S 4 BLOK3Y N4M3
BLOK3 BLOK3 BLOK3!!!
YOU 3V3N T4ST3 L1K3 1T TOO
L1K3 GR33N 4PPL3S 1N 4 W31RD BR1T1SH W4Y
4ND 1M 4 G1RL TOO
SO H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H
>:]

[cocksprite]

how does anyone understand you it sounds like you walked right the fuck out of the bad 20s slang dictionary with your pants around your ankles
verbal wanking yeah nice

[scrums_and_whatnot]

Strider??
Really my good man i dont know if thats supposed to be employing *the ironies* or not.
But if youre going to pretend you dont know me you might try not typing in the same colour.
Or using a - forgive me - very YOU username.

[cocksprite]

oh ha ha douche thanks i didnt pick it
youve also got the right strider totally
even though im the infinitely less cool one but ill let it slide this time you didnt know any better
its totally me dirk sup sup

[starofchaos]

A page full of multicoloured text. How quaint.

Forgive me if I happen to stick to boring black. As a matter of fact, I'm not a duck fan myself, but I do believe that this site is not going to go away any time soon.

[scrums_and_whatnot]

Black?
Thats just uncommon sir i dont know if i can handle that!
Just funning with you dont mind me.
Im guessing that you dont have a bone to throw this drowning man then?
Am i doomed to an internet filled with nothing but waterfowl and their biggest fans forever?

[starofchaos]

I could always type in rainbow text, but I fear that might burn out my eyes before long.

You'll be able to get to other sites eventually. Just keep trying them until they work and bookmark the site if you want to come back at some point. There's no telling how long before it will come back, however.

[harlol]

j?
is that you??????
:D

[scrums_and_whatnot]

Jade?!

[harlol]

it is you!! :)
wow this is really weird especially with what roxy told us!
welcome to the community
it is really weird sometimes....
but mostly nice!

[docfoul]

[And another. Curiouser and curiouser...]

Engage in some idle chatter, and chances are the community will be gracious enough to let you go about your business for a while.

[scrums_and_whatnot]

Yes actually someone mentioned that which is a hell of a relief.
Fuck your text is hell to deal with in this layout.
But ive just turned on the text to speech function on my skulltop so dont worry about it.
Piece of cake!
And who might you be my good sir?

oh god why

[docfoul]

I am one more user of this community you have found yourself stuck in.
I don't imagine we will be speaking very often, but for the sake of courtesy...
You may call me Bruce Banner.

[grimdarkseer]

Firstly, I assure you there are no waterfowl enthusiasts amongst us.
Well, there may be but none that have come to my attention.
Secondly, while I can appreciate the temptation to blame a Strider for this predicament, the true mastermind behind this community and how it operates remains a mystery.
That said, now that you have posted you should find that the place leaves you to do as you wish until the next time it feels you have spent too long ignoring its presence.

[scrums_and_whatnot]

Sounds mysterious indeed.
Are you possibly acquainted with a strider or two?

[grimdarkseer]

Yes, but not the one you know.
Who I assume is the same one Roxy knows.

[sandinmyboots]

Oh, you're fun! Ha ha ha!

[scrums_and_whatnot]

Assuming thats not meant as a jibe thank you!

[egderp]

oh man, you're one of roxy's friends, aren't you?
hmmmm...
if she is rose's mom, then that must mean...
are you jade's grandpa??

[scrums_and_whatnot]

Gosh!
That i am my good sir and shes my grandmother as well and,
Wait,
Can it be?
Are you john???