( text )

[insensate]

Noisy. |

[ ...

If you're searching for more, there's nothing that follows or precedes it. Nothing that gives any indication whatsoever that this individual wants to share more the community -- if they even want to share at all. There's no deep insights or surface observations. Just the one word.

Does it even have to do anything at all with this place? Who knows. For all you know, it could have been an intercepted text. Could have been anything.

Almost. ]

Comments

[starblaze]

It won't go away unless you do.

[insensate]

Yeah. |

[ he knows. if he uses things even a little, he gets to know them. ]

Asking or ignoring won't work.

[starblaze]

How long has it been following you?

[insensate]

It's been a few weeks. |

[ he's been out for most of it, so it isn't like it actually matters how long the duration was. he just doesn't want it either way. /sadcatonside ]

[starblaze]

And you haven't spoken to anyone on the community until now?

[insensate]

... |

[ sobs. nope, nope he didn't. he just doesn't want to at all. ): ]

[starblaze]

Ah... I'm guessing that's a no.

[insensate]

It isn't mine. |

[ he means the phone. but, whatever it is understood that he means? well, that's up to interpretation. ]

[starblaze]

Yet it's still here.

[insensate]

It rung only near me.

[starblaze]

Why are you so keen on avoiding the community, anyways? It isn't entirely malicious.

[insensate]

... |

[ a long pause. ]

I don't want to talk to it.

[ yes. that is totally the only reason. what are you talking about. just makes him look like a grumpy old man. ]

[starblaze]

You're not even going to give it a chance?

[insensate]

I don't want to waste more time on something that's useless.

[starblaze]

It's not useless. Meeting people from other worlds isn't useless.

[insensate]

[ He doesn't want more feelings. He doesn't want more emotions. He thought more than anything, he'd gotten rid of them. He doesn't want to leave any bit of himself behind. Of course it's useless. But, he doesn't say anything. There's nothing to say to it, really. It's only a long moment that seems almost frozen before he texts anything, at all. ]

Even if there's other worlds, it doesn't change anything.

[starblaze]

That you're stubbornly close-minded?

[insensate]

[ He won't say anything for or against it. He won't say anything. He won't explain his wish to her. There's no sense in it. He doesn't want anyone else protesting. He's firmly set in it. Even if she doesn't, it doesn't matter. Even if she calls him that, it doesn't matter. He'll remind himself of it.

If that coldness could transfer, it would have suited him fine enough. But, it's only text. It's only an empty field that has endless interpretations. Even on this, there's small pieces of him everywhere. There are small traces of the Death God, of Yoite, of this person who is neither alive or dead.

He doesn't want it. ]

[starblaze]

[... hey hey bro u still there]

I think I used to be like that, too. [fine if he doesn't say anything about himself she'll just jabber on about herself!!]

[insensate]

[ NO I AM BEING A GRUMPY OLD MAN RIGHT NOW :< ]

... |

[ ok fine he'll listen. ]

[starblaze]

Being able to cope with emotions is admirable. But maybe I think that way only because they can destroy my kind.

If you're human, you should be grateful for that natural ability to feel.

[insensate]

[ He doesn't want more feelings or emotions. He tells himself that. They mask themselves behind a wall of blank expressions. He doesn't want any more memories. He doesn't want kindness. He doesn't want her telling him that he should be grateful.

Emotions destroy them, as well. Humans. Emotions are -- For once, there's almost the sound of speaker crackling on. Accidental, as something like leather seems rub across keypads. As though, perhaps, he had been tightening his fingers. A mix of emotions. Irritation. Frustration. ]

[starblaze]

... The pain and risks are worth the happiness and peace. That's what I always tell myself and my friend. And it's true. I honestly believe it is.

( voice: /sobbing )

[insensate]

[ there's a long spell of silence. a long spell of quieter breathing. and what comes is a voice that seems somehow more like a child's. neither loud nor without edges that would mark an adult's. and seems cut-in, somehow. as though he had repeated it before. the whole sentence. one word caught: ]

... Don't.

[starblaze]

[... huh.]

Sorry.