002 ✪ [Video -- thoroughly accidental video]

[notmyfirstrodeo]

[Coulson is staring intently at the computer screen. Very intently. In fact, this may be the most serious that he's ever looked -- which is saying something. The man doesn't do much that isn't serious.]

Almost...

[The word is muttered to himself, brow furrowed.] Just about... There!

[And now, seriousness is replaced with absolute triumph. A kid who just got exactly what he asked for from Santa. Fiddling and a sheet prints. It's an order confirmation, straight off of eBay, winning bid. As he holds it up to the light read it's quite visible: Complete series: Captain America trading cards, original printing, near mint condition.

There's a bit of a grin starting on his face as he suddenly realizes he's sharing this. The expression fades entirely, and he pauses.]

...this is research. [And then he hurries to turn the video off.]

Comments

[notmyfirstrodeo]

If that's what you think, maybe so.

[papshooshing]

YOU DON'T DENY THAT?

[notmyfirstrodeo]

The man is my childhood hero. What's the point in denying there's a certain childishness to trading cards.

[papshooshing]

YOU COULD HAVE JUST USED THAT AS AN EXCUSE INSTEAD OF RESEARCH.
AT LEAST THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE LEGIT.

[notmyfirstrodeo]

It's research too. SHIELD is directly tied into the circumstances of Captain Rogers's, well, existence. [Especially these days but OH MAN CLASSIFIED SECRETS HE HAS THEM.]

[papshooshing]

FIRST, I HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, BUT WHATEVER.
HUMAN SHIT, BLAH BLAH BLAH.
SECOND, WHAT'S "SHIELD?"

[notmyfirstrodeo]

You aren't human then?

SHIELD is the Strategic Homeland Interventions, Enforcement and Logistics Division. [HELPFUL EXPLANATIONS!]

[papshooshing]

MOST THAT HAVE COLORED FONTS AROUND HERE AREN'T, EXCEPT FOR THE THREE THAT ARE.

SO THIS THING OF YOURS COVERS MORE FUCKING BRANCHES THAN JUST ONE.
MAN, WOULDN'T TEREZI HAVE A FIELD DAY.

[notmyfirstrodeo]

I see. I'll have to keep that in mind. Can I ask what you are?

Lots of branches, yeah. We don't really draw a border around the subject matter or location or scope of our interest and jurisdiction. We go where we're needed.

[papshooshing]

I'M A TROLL AND PROUD OF IT.
JUST DON'T GO INTO THE BRIDGES HOOFBEAST SHIT BECAUSE I'M TIRED OF HEARING THAT
AND HOW CAN THAT EVEN BE A REAL THING?
HUMAN MYTHOLOGY IS ALMOST AS ASSBACKWARDS AS OUR OWN.

YOU GO WHERE YOU'RE NEEDED.
ISN'T THAT ONE OF THE MOST DANGEROUS PHRASES I'VE HEARD IN A *LONG* WHILE.
JUST WHO GETS TO CALL THE SHOTS?

[notmyfirstrodeo]

It is. Of course, every now and again human mythology turns out to be true.

The circumstance does. And in my case and many of our cases, Director Fury.

[papshooshing]

I HAVE YET TO ENCOUNTER WHEN IT *HAS* BEEN TRUE.
BUT BACK TO THIS AGENCY OF YOURS, BECAUSE WOW.
DO YOU NOT SEE HOW BIG OF A TIN NUTRITION CONTAINER OF WORMS THAT OPENS UP?

[notmyfirstrodeo]

I'm in the middle of just that situation myself.

We're in the business of cleaning up cans of worms other people or things open.

[papshooshing]

I MEANT MORALITY-WISE, GRUBMUNCH.

[notmyfirstrodeo]

I don't think I'm seeing the point you're trying to make. Where's the morality problem in saving lives?

[papshooshing]

THE MORALITY OF THE MEANS?
HOW ABOUT THINGS LIKE JURISDICTION LIMITED TO YOUR PROPER BRANCH OF HUMAN GOVERNMENT?