dramadramaduck | [video] // wide-eyed wanderer

[Lancer did ultimately take Jade's advice and investigated the modern human concept of movies. It was something to do, even if the Servant wasn't quite as active as he would have liked. He just had to be patient, something would present itself. Or he'd settle in where anyone could see he rightfully didn't belong. Hard to tell, really.]

[All in all, he was for the moment optimistic about things, and that was when the community decided to record him; walking through the forest on his way back to the temple and humming under his breath. This would be right about where the point about movies suddenly became relevant, as eventually he moved from humming to outright singing quietly.]

[The funny thing is, the more one listens to him, they might just find themselves feeling a bit more cheerful or possibly even affectionate. Such is the way of musical empathic projection, my friends.]

[And the poor guy has no idea.]

~~[Like I really wasn't going to exploit the hell out of his voice actor singing Disney. I do what I want.]~~

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I think...I can understand where you're coming from. I imagine it would be hard for Issei if he knew you were still conflicted...still not entirely happy.

It's not easy especially when you had a very focused goal as a servant...I think that's how we're different...when I died I didn't have any regrets. I'd have no problem leaving Kotomine...

...There's nothing wrong with you...but it is hard getting everything you want in life...I would have wished the circumstances would have been different for you.

I won't complain about my circumstances. They were as they were, no amount of wishing or objecting will change that. It was an undeserved honor to be able to fight again no matter the kind of person Kayneth was. And I am grateful Issei was kind enough to answer my selfish request that he make me his Servant, even if it must have been like sheltering a stray cat.

But I...don't know what to do. I can't call what I died with regret, no--I was just unhappy. And that measure of unhappiness will likely stay with me forever, no matter how many assure me I am supposedly a worthwhile and loyal knight.

...I'm not. And I don't deserve to be in the presence of someone who is.

I see...your feelings...are very complicated, I guess it's because you're such a nice guy that it's so difficult. Sometimes it's hard getting past the wonderful person and getting right down to the knight that you are...

...but...I wouldn't say you don't deserve to be in my presence. The king was my uncle so there's some question about whether I deserve to be a knight or whether it's just favor, and I have killed my own. I like it that you admire me, but I'm...heh...well, it's hard to say...but I'm not perfect.

If we're going to bring our parents into this, then I was fortunate enough to be favored by a kind and loving god despite having been born to a monster. Ever since I was a child I have been granted fortune I don't deserve and misfortune that I do.

As far as perfection, neither of us are. But of the two of us, only one deserves the fame he has.

Edited 2012-05-28 01:12 (UTC)

I think this is probably something we can argue about forever, but all I can say to you is that...I know how I feel about you...Spotty. After seeing that video of your potential future...your master's betrayal...your death...how much misfortune does one person really deserve. Being Irish..well, we suffer enough, heh...

...I can't change your mind...but you're a good man, you really are. You have...a way about you that makes it difficult not to like you...and that's completely natural

...you really are too kind, you know. Everyone is, but I wish they wouldn't be. Hearing things like that--I want to believe it, and I want to believe all that I've done was what was right.

But as things are now, the only word I find fitting to describe myself is 'pathetic'.

It would devastate you if people thought of you as a horrible, Diarmuid...but that's not why they are kind, it's genuine. You couldn't be mean or rude or perverse or irritating if your life depended on it...I could sit here and take the piss out of you all day and the worse you'd do is give me a look...or politely tell me to knock it off. You know...it's not fake, whatever it is that's in you...

...I think we all want to believe that everything we do is right, but...we just do the best that we can

I really hope that you're right.

Hey...I believe that I'm right!

I'll have to trust you, then.

I know that's probably hard for you [have another squeeze] maybe you can trust yourself a little bit too.

I'll do the best that I can.

You don't have to push yourself. Could sing again...or I could sing, either one.

I really am too fortunate to have you as a friend.

[Ruffles your hair again...but does it genuinely.] I know you are!

...I'm pretty lucky too!

[He didn't bother fixing his hair that time once it feel out of place.]

Why's that?

Daft bugger...I have a friend like you [and that deserves a wink] and hey...if it gets slow then I'm lucky to have a sparring partner.

O-oh...thank you.

That's right...if you ever get the urge for some Servant on Servant action just give me a shout, I wouldn't want your skills with a spear to rust...I understand you're very good...and fast.