[video]

[olbustedhotness]

[the feed turns on to show a pretty standard little suburban living room, if your idea of standard is modern middle-class America. there's the sound of a door opening and closing, and keys jangling as they're set down. a few heavy footsteps, and a man's legs come into view - the computer in question looks as though it's sitting on a coffee table.

there are shorts. shorts, and knee-high dark blue socks.]

'Lizabeth? Honey? I'm home! ... God, I am so done with this day, technician from Pitney Bowes took a good three hours to get over and repair the envelope feeder ...

[no response.]

You out in the garden, baby?

[nothing.]

... Huh. Must be. Left her laptop on again though.

[and then the man the voice and the socks belong to sits down on the couch and peers at the screen, squinting. after a moment's deliberation, he reaches out with one questing finger and clicks]

This doesn' look like my MSN homepage. Heck is this ...?

Comments

video;

[doyoufondue]

[ waaaaait a second. Captain America is confused. ]

-Colonel Philips?

[olbustedhotness]

[the computer is talking to him. HWHY. is the computer talking to him.

maybe it's one'a them You Tube Things. Steve is getting ALL THE SQUINTING as he looks for the stop button]

[Video]

[notmyfirstrodeo]

[Well, another new face, huh? Poor guy. He doesn't look like a member of the internet savvy generation.]

It's a bit difficult to explain it entirely. The short explanation is that it's a network that has decided it wants you as a member. And it's persistent.

[olbustedhotness]

[one craggy eyebrow gets raised at that, though he doesn't blink. the stare is still firmly in place]

You talking to me? ... This's a gover'ment thing, innit. Homeland Security, crackin' down on all them internet pirates and all.

video

[ms_potts]

[Pepper smiles sweetly at the poor guy who just looks so very confused]

Hello, sir. I'm Pepper Potts. This is the network. We've all been connected to this network from different worlds and times, I know it's a bit of an outlandish explanation but it's the truth. We've all been connected in such a way that we can communicate with each other through it like we're doing right now.

/to end!

[olbustedhotness]

[well, now, a polite, pretty lady isn't anything he's about to say no to. he's still confused as hell, but he'll replace the scowl with a smile for her sake.]

Mm-huh. [he nods once, attempting to pretend that he's got some clue what she's talking about] And who's "we", exactly?

[justanothercop]

This isn't MSN - far bit from it in fact, sorry to say.

[olbustedhotness]

So I can see. Hope it don't use up all our ... what's that word, band somethin'. Gotta pay extra if we do that, and Verizon already gets enough of my damn money.

video;

[hasbottombunk]

Ah, hello. [He smiles awkwardly and waves.] It's definitly not any normal site like MSN, sorry to say.

[olbustedhotness]

[have a wave and a smile that's somehow even more awkward than your own, Roronicus]

So I'm startin' to see, and several kind folk such's yourself've been explainin'. I figure, not much a humble carrier like myself can do about it, so I might's well roll with the punches.

Name's Kevin. Nice t' meet you, son.

video;

[6collegecredits]

Oh wow. Shorts and socks. Ouch.

[olbustedhotness]

[drier than the desert half a mile outside your window, Darcy] On the contrary, miss, the standard uniform of the United States Postal Service was designed with the complete comfort of its carriers in mind.

[mightletyouknowme]

MSN is more boring.

[olbustedhotness]

Oh, I dunno, that Photo of the Day thing is worth a few hundred words on occasion, if not the usual goin' price of a thousand.

[makewayforroze]

MSN...No, I don't think it's the same thing.

[olbustedhotness]

I'm startin' to pick up on that P.D.Q, actually, young lady, but thank you for your help. [he flashes her a thin, vaguely harrowed smile]

[yumadbro]

It's the community.

[So helpful.]

[olbustedhotness]

What. Community.

[he says it like there's an H at the front of what. welcome to Kevin's Accent, population Too Many H's]

[thatsmyyogurt]

[There are a number of things he could say to this, but...]

MSN? Seriously?

[olbustedhotness]

I'm suddenly comin' to grips with an infinite number of strangers havin' access to my personal private life, and the first thing you can come up with t' say in response to my bemusement is a sass remark on my choice of homepage.

I don't think I even know where to start with that, son.

[crackpotcrocker]

3 hours?! For fixing an envelope feeder?! The heck did you do to that?

Also, welcome to the - MULIVERSE!

[olbustedhotness]

Don't lookit me, Ferrell's the one who broke the damn thing.

You say that like you oughta be a circus announcer. ... You also say it like you expect me t' believe you.

[ video ]

[deadlydoctor]

[Hello mister short shorts, have a red robot.] Oh, another victim to this place, lovely.

[olbustedhotness]

[he has the calves for it. you can't say that about most men his age.]

Victim?!

[never mind that uh

um

robot

wut]

text;

[papshooshing]

WHAT THE FUCK IS AN ENVELOPE?

[olbustedhotness]

[STARES at the feed incredulously before punching Caps Lock and hunt-pecking one word very slowly and deliberately, scowling]

LANGUAGE!!!!

[Video]

[schrodingersghost]

That's because it isn't.

[olbustedhotness]

Clearly. I don't suppose that your keen powers of observation might have noticed, somehow, what it actually is?

voice;

[hulk]

It's hard getting a good repair technician when you need it. More chance than, ah, than anything. It's spotty work if you can get it, so the whole knowledgeable times location times availability keeps people moving around, f- Er. Did the feeder get fixed, at least?

[olbustedhotness]

[someone with manners, this is nice. he smiles] It did, yes, thank you for askin'. Good thing, too, I know the quiltin' company down the road brings all their little flyers in for the first Friday of the month. Would've been a real mess without it, let me tell you.

You say that like you're a tech yourself. Or know one.

[voice]

[dekillerqueen]

I have no doubt that others have already told you this is not your "Emm-Ess-Enn". Microsoft... Network, I presume. I have no particular desire to look it up. However... has anyone provided you with a satisfying explanation for what is actually going on, or must I be the first?

[olbustedhotness]

Couple people've made a pretty fair pass at it, mmyep. And who might you be?

[video]

[scanningutterly]

[The teenage boy sitting on a couch in a wood-paneled room looks strangely flat, and there's some lag in his movements.]

You won't believe it.

[olbustedhotness]

[Kevin is boring and figures it's probably something wrong with the damned machine.

again]

Try me, you never know. Got a good number of people done filled me in already.

handwritten

[harbingersoul]

A multidimensional portal.

[olbustedhotness]

So I been told. .... But what exactly m'I supposed to do with it?