dramadramaduck | I found a new place to dwell ...

[the community's habit of turning the feed on at the worst of times continues. the TV's on in the background, but neither of the residents of the Brown household are paying it any attention - they're out in the foyer, just visible through the archway of the living room ... so that the community gets its first - and last - look at Elizabeth Ann Reston-Brown.

she's pretty for a woman her age, still, grey hair with the faintest remnant of brown pulled back behind her ears. and she's got suitcases at her side. uh oh. Kevin's just ... standing at the stairs in khakis and a polo shirt, looking like he's not exactly sure how he came to be there. because quite honestly, he's not.]

... So this is ... 'Lizabeth, don't tell me there's nothing I can --

That's just it, Kevin. You're sweet, just as sweet as I remembered you. But that was forty years ago. And ... I've had a life in between then and now, and you --

I tried. You know I tried. But when I say you're not here, I.... [she sighs] We've had this conversation. I don't want to have it again.

But ... what if I could change your mind ...? [even his voice sounds hollowed out, empty. like there's nothing there, like her words are drops hitting the bottom of a well]

Kevin. ... I don't want you to.

[and then she's gone. the door shuts and he sits down with a great, deflating sigh on the stairs. at least he's got his face in his hands, so you're not all completely uncomfortable at the sight of a grown man crying?]

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[Damn. That's just... damn. He wants to say something, he really does, but he knows it would be worthless since Kay only knows him as the strange dude from the community.

This thing is making it more and more clear to him that he misses his damn partner]

[he hears the background noise from the feed, after a long moment, and just looks up. .... hell. and it's that kid. the one that pints that hollow feeling that's been plaguing him, worse than anything else. ... nothing for it, he figures.]

.... Should've seen this comin' last year. In Vegas. But you know what they say.

[he can't help but be candid, somehow. he lets out a soft sigh. .... "he was outta breath". ... okay now where the hell did that come from? it just reminds him, whatever it was, how little fits these days. how lost he is. and that's the worst part, the part he doesn't dare admit, for fear of what it might mean. ....she's right. This. this is right.]

[Aw crap. Damn this community and its thwarting his efforts to remain a stealthy stalker of his ex-partner's misery! ... that came out wrong. He sighs, rubbing the back of his head.]

Yeah... yeah I know what they say.

["Better to have loved and lost..." "Try it sometime." The conversation replayed in his head, making him miss the brief time they'd spent as partners. He'd gone through new partners like tissues since then because, well, none of them were Kay. But none of them would be... and now he's stuck watching his partner as a stranger, unable to be there as the friend he'd like to be.

This shit sucks, man.

He clears his throat, trying to dislodge the lump that he was trying to tell himself did not exist.]

I'm sorry, man. An' I'm real sorry to barge in on you like this. Ain't right.

[he wants to be angry at the kid, he does. so, so damn badly. but then he apologizes, and the look on his face is almost absurdly sincere. Kevin didn't realize a complete stranger could look that sympathetic.

almost reflexively, it seems, he looks up. but there's only a ceiling, and in the middle of the day ...

he sighs]

Not your fault. I mean. It i'n't like you said, "I think I'll spy on the mailman today"...

[... why is he staring at the ceiling?

Wait... oooooooh man. It can't be. But it all makes sense. He's still looking for the stars. He was an agent for so long that it stuck with him, some residual desire or knowledge, something hidden so deep that he didn't even know it was there. He runs a hand over his mouth to hide the small smile threatening to peek out.

He shrugs, shaking his head half in response to the comment and half to give him a chance to get his expression under control again.]

Naw, wouldn't do somethin' like that. Even with this community thing that's just creepy.

Glad to hear you're not mentally disturbed, then.

[he sighs again, quietly. it's a decent enough barb, but he's pretty far off his game right now, so it's lacking the usual strong delivery. ]

'Least, no more than the rest of us on this thing.

Nah, you don't hafta worry 'bout that. [He smirks] Had a CAT scan jus' last month.

I found a new place to dwell ...

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that was supposed to be "pings", not "pints", autocorrect

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