> [V] John: Be dead John.

[egderp]

[ the background of the video tells you that john is not on his planet anymore - in fact, who knows where he is. it's a new place. but more importantly, john is there, and he is... covering his eyes and grinning? what's going on here. ]

Hey, guys, it's John. I have a vitally important question for you all today! For the whole community. It is... [ he pauses for dramatic effect, and suddenly takes his hands away from his eyes. the shock is that his eyes are blank. completely white. no pupil, no iris. ] Who you gonna call?

[ he apparently finds his own joke very funny and he snorts. ]

I had always thought that I would be on the other end of a Proton Pack's Neutrino Wand, but I guess the truth is that, in the end, you never know if you're going to be the Ghostbuster or the Ghostbustee! Anyway, being dead isn't so bad. I think I might be getting used to it? Even dead Dave is a pretty cool guy to hang around with, hahaha.

But... I feel like we should apologise. For dying, yes, even though we're camping out in these dreambubble things now! Jeez, Charles would be so mad at me if he found out, heh... And, um, also to the trolls! We really fucked up. I know you probably think this is a doomed timeline, but... it's not. Dave is the time whiz here, so he would know if it was, and he says we're boned. Our current working theory is alternate universes! Like, maybe because we have the community, things changed and got messed up, so there are two different universes? Who knows. I am just a lowly dead ectobiologist!

Anyway, the point was, sorry! We're dead. We can't get out of here, either, so no more community parties for me. Lame, I know. Everyone should give me some suggestions on fun things for a couple of rad dead dudes to do!

And, hey, has... Has anyone seen Rose or Jade? They never turned up to the ghost party and we're kind of waiting around for them.

Comments

[whysomean]

Dang, you sure talk a lot for a dead guy. [Note: she isn't the least bit bothered about the deadness. Some of her best friends are dead.]

[egderp]

I have to make up for all of the talking the other dead guys don't do!

[whysomean]

Yeah, I dig it.

What's it like being ghostly?

[egderp]

It's pretty boring, actually. Like, I can't even stick my hand through stuff? So lame. We've just been walking through our memories for hours.

[whysomean]

Ugh, that sucks. Can you do the spooky ghost walk?

[egderp]

I don't think so. I just walk like a normal dude.

[whysomean]

Could show you how if you want. [ : D ] No biggie.

technically still hiatused oh well

[h8ers_gonna_h8]

Like fuck that's not a doomed timeline! John, stop messing around!

[egderp]

Hey, I don't know anything about doomed timelines! I'm just passing on the facts that Dave gives me. We're pretty sure it's a big alternate universe mess. So I guess this means you'll have... another John? Whoa, that is weird to consider.

[h8ers_gonna_h8]

That's just ruuuuuuuude. We've already got different timelines, where do you get off splitting into different universes???????? Mash yourself back together already!

[egderp]

Um, I kinda can't! In this universe, all four of us died. Rose and Jade tried to worldhop out of the game, and I think it fucked everything up. Sorry.

[h8ers_gonna_h8]

What the hell would you do that for?? Didn't I tell you to just do what I said and I had everything under control? I thought we had an agreement, John!

[egderp]

I know! That's why I didn't go anywhere! But I thought that maybe Rose and Jade would be safe if they got out? They sounded really sure about what they were doing.

[h8ers_gonna_h8]

Well, you should have convinced them!!!!!!!! Aren't you the leader of this clusterfuck????????

[papshooshing]

Time shit was bad enough. Now this community shit is making my migraine even worse.

[egderp]

I dunno, I like alternate universes a lot more than time shit. They make heaps more sense!

Anyway, Karkat, can you tell past John in your universe not to be such a dumbass? I should have told Rose and Jade not to try bailing from the game with a worldhop, 'cause that's how we all died. Something got really messed up, man.

[docfoul]

[Oho.

Scratch can guess what's going on here... but guessing isn't good enough for someone who normally knows everything with the utmost certainty.

If his hunch - bluh - is right, he has nothing to worry about.

... Also he's going to use text because he's just a little shit like that.]

[Mr. Egbert.]
[Now that I have your attention, allow me to drop these inelegant black brackets and continue:]
How much do you know about what happened?

[egderp]

Sheesh, Mr. White Text Guy, way to be inconsiderate to a dead kid! [ he's just complaining because he can, he highlights it straight away. ] Uh, not... a whole lot. Rose and Jade said they wanted to use the community to get out of the game. I said, "Wait, I don't think that's a good idea?" but they were pretty stubborn about it. Plus, I didn't want to make them play because it was putting them in danger, you know?

Anyway, I told them I'd stay behind with Dave. Vriska always tells me she can get me through the game, and I trust her to do that, so I figured it would be fine for me to stick around, and Dave couldn't leave 'cause he's not part of the community.

So, they ditched, and everything just went bad, I guess? I dunno.

[docfoul]

Naturally. You could never hope for success without a Hero of Space.
Not to mention a Seer's powers.
But I suppose that's what you get when you don't listen to me.

[egderp]

Well, that's kind of what I'm trying to change now! If everyone tells past John not to let Jade and Rose go, then it shouldn't end up this way, right?

[docfoul]

If you think Rose would listen to you.

[papshooshing]

I did try to tell them not to fucking bail.

[egderp]

Yeah, but tell me. Rose told me that if I said no, they wouldn't go through with it.

[papshooshing]

Just how am I supposed to do that, huh?

[egderp]

You just need to find past John tell him very seriously, "Hey! Past John! Your dead self in the future says not to let Rose and Jade out of the game or everyone's gonna end up dead."

If he thinks you're pranking him, then just get really mad at him like you always do.