video; still omwf

[antibadstuff]

[ There's no message after this video like her last one. She'll respond to this post, but the replies will ICly come much later. After she's stopped trying to figure out why she went and made out with Spike for a while after this little diddy, thank god it didn't show that. What is her life.

..And no the Hungarian subs do not show up on the video to the comm, ignore those. ]

Comments

[hasbottombunk]

[well hey that description of being in heaven sounded familiar!]

...Buffy?

text;

[likethetragedy]

[That last part really punched her in the feelings so you're getting only text from Elektra.]

Tell me you punched the thing that clapped afterward.

[antibadstuff]

Guess I don't really need to talk anymore, huh?

[hasbottombunk]

Not if you don't want to. I'd understand.

text;

[antibadstuff]

He's left. Didn't have to hit him to get him to do that. He was there because someone summoned him and didn't realize the bad things this could cause. The whole.. musical thing here should stop in a little bit too. There's a little bit still going on, but by morning at least..

[antibadstuff]

Not much else to say besides that, is there? [ That being her song. ] I was there... and now I'm here. Where nothing feels [ at all? ] right.

[hasbottombunk]

The way you described it...no pain, fear, doubt..

I felt that way recently.

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[doyoufondue]

[ Sure, it's a demon. Sure that's a song. He could comment on her being in hell but he knew that already. What's really bothering him is the smoke while she spun... ]

You were going to do it, weren't you?

[antibadstuff]

[ She's not so sure about that. It couldn't be the same. ]

It's not like anything you can really experience when you're.. alive. It's like being whole, completed, and you know that everything's the way it should be. Warm and comfortable. Peaceful and loved. I don't know that that's anything anyone could feel while they're still breathing.

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[antibadstuff]

[ She was hoping no one would pick up on that. That in that moment, that look to that demon, that offer he'd made her to just give in and let it end...

It was just like Spike had told her a year ago. The second you want it, even a little bit, that's when you lose. She wanted it a lot right now and she'd let it happen and the one person who stopped her was the person who'd told her how to let it happen in the first place. ]

I-- I'm not going to try again.

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[doyoufondue]

Good. That's not the way out.

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[antibadstuff]

All it takes is wanting it for even a second. If it'd been anything this guy I probably..

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[doyoufondue]

All it takes is being a moron for a second.

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[antibadstuff]

You mean like the kind of moron who has a dead guy without a soul telling her that it gets better?

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[likethetragedy]

Good to know. I'm not much of a singer.

text;

[antibadstuff]

Can't say I'm a big fan either.

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[doyoufondue]

...He's a dead guy without a soul? [ .... ] He pet your head.

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[likethetragedy]

I wouldn't blame you for hating it after this.

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[antibadstuff]

Vampire. That-- he's Spike. It was just the song.

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[doyoufondue]

That's Spike-? Wasn't he the guy with the robot?

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[antibadstuff]

The only difference is now my friends feel bad because I'm alive. It wasn't something they needed to deal with. [ It hasn't made it hurt any less to get it out, either. ]

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[antibadstuff]

The robot is very, very dead. He apologized for it too and.. he had to live with it the entire time I was gone. Looking at it and knowing it wasn't me and thinking it'd never be me again. I think he's learned his lesson with the robot.

[ But not with her. And she knows that it's wrong. Even Steve knows that it's wrong and she's only ever really mentioned Spike to him and it's not making her feel any better about kissing him. ]

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[likethetragedy]

[Oh they are talking about this. Elektra will take this chance to try to be useful without revealing she's more or less in the same boat as Buffy.]

No, it wasn't. There's not much you can do to change it now except talk to them about it.

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[antibadstuff]

[ It's a little easier to talk to people on here about it. They weren't the ones who were responsible. Even if she knows that Willow and the others couldn't have known, it still hurts that they're the reason she feels this way. ]

I was hoping we could just leave it at that and move on.

[whitechocolate]

[That bit about her being in heaven is really kind of chilling and makes Sam sad.]

What was that thing with the red face?