[accidental video]

[whitechocolate]

[Sam - no, not Sam, Blond Chameleon - is at the school gym, shirtless and wearing a jockstrap on his head.

You read that right.

You're about to witness an impressive impersonation of a certain supervillian... who is a member of this community. Oh dear.]

When Gotham is ashes then you have my permission to die. [His friend asks if that's actually a jockstrap on his head. Indeed it is, but Sam ignores him because he's trying to stay in character. He throws his arms up in the air.] Let the games begin!

[Cut to several hours later when Sam has access to a computer. He's dressed like this.]

Blond Chameleon here.

Does anyone know where I can get a grappling hook at short notice?

If I told you why, I'd have to kill you. [Pokerface.]

Comments

[gothams_reckoning]

[HAVE THE LOOK OF DEATH AIMED IN YOUR DIRECTION, SAM]

And what, pray tell, are you doing in there?

[whitechocolate]

[O-oh crap.]

Me? That wasn't me. That was my evil twin.

[gothams_reckoning]

Lying is not going to aid your situation, Mr. Evans.

[whitechocolate]

If you're gonna kill me, can I say goodbye to my family first?

[gothams_reckoning]

Now, now. Who said I was giving you permission to die? [IRONY, SAM. IRONY IS GONNA GITCHU.]

[whitechocolate]

[Sam laughs at the irony until he realizes laughing is way inappropriate right now.]

I'm sorry for imitating your voice.

[gothams_reckoning]

[EXTRA DEATH-GLARE, SAM]

You find my voice amusing. [Not a question. Have more death glare.]

[whitechocolate]

[Sam shakes his head quickly.]

No, no I don't! I think it's cool because of how... unusual it is. My voice is so boring. It's why I like doing other people's. I wish I had your voice.

[gothams_reckoning]

No, you do not. Believe me, you do not. [I DON'T HAVE A FUNCTIONAL MOUTH, SAM.]

[asdamaged]

[Yeah there's only one person who wears a mask like that. Have the most disapproving face, Sam.] That was completely uncalled for. Apologize to Professor Bane right now.

[whitechocolate]

Professor? [Totally confused.] What's he teaching? How to be evil?

...Actually, Sebastian would probably teach that class.

[asdamaged]

That isn't what he's teaching. [She's confused about a totally different thing.] It isn't like you to be mean.

[whitechocolate]

[Sam totally feels like he's disappointed his mother right now.] I didn't mean to be mean... I was only impersonating his voice because it sounds cool.

[asdamaged]

Oh is that it? [Rita is relieved.] I'm sorry. I didn't mean to jump to conclusions. It's just some students have gotten in the habit of making fun of his condition. I don't want him to feel like he isn't accepted here.

[whitechocolate]

You don't have to apologize. I can see why it looked like I was making fun of his... condition. It's weird for me because I've always known him as a fictional character, not an actual living person.

[asdamaged]

I know his mask is a little unreal, but why would you think of him as a fictional character? Does he look like a specific one?

[whitechocolate]

[Sam goes into Comic Book Nerd Mode.] He looks like Bane, also known as "The Man Who Broke the Bat" when he broke Batman's back in the "Knightfall" story arc, forcing Bruce Wayne to give up the Batman persona while he recuperated. His first appearance was in Batman: Vengeance of Bane #1, published in January, 1993. He's one of Batman's most intelligent and physically powerful foes.

[p_a_r_a_d_o_x]

[Ey ey if you are playing superheroes he wants to be Robin Nightwing.]

I really hope that you can run fast.

[whitechocolate]

[Sorry but Blaine is his Nightwing... except he's called Nightbird for copyright reasons.]

I used to run fast on the football team... why?

[p_a_r_a_d_o_x]

[......what even. Oh well.]

Because Mr. bane is not going to like this.

[whitechocolate]

I didn't know I was being recorded.

[p_a_r_a_d_o_x]

I can tell.


It was nice knowing you, Sam.

[whitechocolate]

You too, man.

How's the grumpy cat?

[p_a_r_a_d_o_x]

What grumpy cat? [ >.> he has no idea what are you taking abouuuut.]

[whitechocolate]

Y'know, the cat that looked liked you? [He imitates the cat's face.]

[p_a_r_a_d_o_x]

...

I don't make that face. [He totes does.]

[whitechocolate]

Dude... you're making it right now.

[p_a_r_a_d_o_x]

You are imagining things.

[video]

[lebanese]

Nevermind a grappling hook. What the hell was that on your face earlier? A jock strap? Seriously?

[video]

[whitechocolate]

What? It's not like it was used.

[doyoufondue]

Impersonating a guy actually here, Sam? That's a little risky.

[whitechocolate]

Dude, I didn't know I was being recorded!

He's totally gonna kill me... It was nice knowing you. You can have your old shield back after I die if you want.