[Clearly foolproof anon!]

[archangelofderp]

By the way, would anyone be interested in a matchmaking service? I understand some of you have roommates who won't leave their rooms, or friends who are in need of a pick-me-up, and something a bit more forcible than speed dating may be required.

Who would like to volunteer someone else?

[Feel free to post anon, threadjack, and so on. Michael is the most ethical of staff, clearly. He's doing it for people's happiness.]