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retasu midorikawa [mew lettuce]

[anon]

If there was something you thought was probably wrong, or scary, or something you'd never do... but then it happened and it was the happiest you've ever been in your life -- say that there was a virus that made you do it! That's something everybody can relate to. Um. But.

If that happened, and then things went back to normal, then is it bad to start thinking along the line that maybe you would be happy that way if you did that sort of thing for real?

Um. This probably sounds confusing. Ah, say that there was... a virus that made you go outside, and you loved it, when your whole life you thought you had to live in your basement! Or a virus that paired you up with somebody you thought you didn't like that way, and then you started to think maybe you did! Does that help?

Please answer. I think a lot of people might have had this problem.

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Hmm, someone you didn't like and then you liked them that way... [Gasp.] Is this what they call the forbidden love effect?

Edited (now edited cause reading comprehension herpderp) 2013-01-28 19:13 (UTC)

I suppose it could be? That's just one example, though. I'm also talking about situations where... um, to use your "forbidden love" idea again, what if you had someone you couldn't be with normally but you already liked them? And then you were suddenly in a situation you wouldn't normally be sure was really okay, but you were together and you were happy? That's also the kind of thing I'm asking about. When that was over, you might start thinking about it at least if things still didn't go right further down the line... at least that's what I'm asking.

Hmm... that's a good question. I suppose dwelling on it would be weird enough but hmm...

Maybe just say so, and if it can't happen put it to bed? I mean, I'm 10, I don't know anything about love...

It doesn't have to be about love! There are a lot of other things that could apply to this! Like, um, if you were here during the pet virus and it made you decide to get a goldfish, or something like that!

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I... can relate to that. I remember when I first got here, and we ended up in college for a while... I liked those days. I learned a lot about myself, and it's an experience I would have been willing to stay in.

Coming back was hard... it took me a while to get a handle on myself again, and start really moving forward. The person I was then, is someone I want to become. Maybe someone even better than that.

Anyway, I'm getting off-topic... I think it's not unusual. But I think the key is to figure out why you liked the thing you would have never done, and make an honest effort to see if you can make it happen.

Were you afraid of it before?

Well... a little. It was hard for me to really make friends, instead of just learning names and faces, and smiling as I went about my business. After a while I just... stopped putting as much effort in. I think if something - or rather, a pair of someones - hadn't pushed me to open up more, I would turn into... someone very different, as time passed.

It wasn't that I was afraid, it was more that... I think I just gave up, I guess.

I remember finding real friends too, instead of people who only kept me around to do whatever they ordered. I think I understand you.

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I think it would be natural to feel that way.

Have you felt like that, anon-san? I mean, run into something you normally wouldn't think of indulging in and wonder afterward if you'd really be happy that way.

Yes, on occasion.

I'm probably being ridiculous.

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dekillerqueen - 2013-01-30 16:23 (UTC) - Expand

If you look at it one way, it's just that you didn't think outside of your little bubble before until someone showed you what you could have in the right situation. Just don't forget that what you're remembering is the way you felt about things during the virus, not the way that you'll feel about them even if you do the exact same thing now. A lot of the viruses change us in addition to reality, not just one or the other.

What I'm trying to say is it's fine to go after something that makes you happy. Just make sure that if it involves other people, it's really what you want and not just what you think you want. Otherwise it'll backfire.

Ah, I suppose you're right. I wasn't thinking about seriously asking them about it! Well, not a lot... I mean, it's still too strange and honestly too scary, and it would probably really trouble other people, and you're right that I don't know if it would be good in real life.

Well it's not just about causing trouble for others, it's just about thinking about what you really want to begin with.

I guess you're right. I've had a lot of time to think, but I just can't.

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...I don't know. I guess I'd like to be stronger, even if it's only for a little while. But I don't know how I'd make it stay afterward.

I know how that feels. I'm strong in comparison to other people from my own world, but the people on this community keep showing themselves to be a lot better than me, and sometimes I feel like I can't protect the people I care about.