[voice]

[scanningutterly]

[The recording starts with someone clearing their throat, with a more distinct "ahem!" sound than seems realistic.]

Hello, Dramadramaduck. [The voice is clearly not Orlando's- it's older, and has the markings of a complete stereotype of a Brooklyn cabbie. The speaker's tone is serious, but there's still something of a children's cartoon in the voice.] The name's Beezle, I'm Orlando Gardiner's cyber agent. The boss gave me instructions for contacting all of you if something happened.

[The tone flattens.] At 7:38 UTC yesterday Orlando Gardiner was diagnosed as comatose. The chance of him recovering is currently estimated at 56%.

That's all.


(( OOC: Orlando will naturally not be replying here, but if you want to talk to Beezle, have at it. ))

Comments

[voice]

[fairyofwind]

W-what? This is a joke, right?

[She's really hoping it is, even if she has a feeling that it isn't.]

[voice]

[scanningutterly]

Sorry lady, it's not.

[voice]

[fairyofwind]

But it's-

He's-

...Is it really just a 56% chance?

[voice]

[scanningutterly]

That's the latest estimate from the docs.

[voice]

[fairyofwind]

...oh.

Um. Thank you for telling us...

[voice]

[scanningutterly]

No problem. I'm just doing what the boss wanted.

[voice]

[fairyofwind]

You'll keep us updated?

[voice]

[scanningutterly]

I'll do my best, miss.

[voice]

[fairyofwind]

Thank you...um, Beezle.

[ voice ]

[timey_wimey]

He was what?

[ voice ]

[scanningutterly]

Declared comatose.

[ voice ]

[timey_wimey]

No, I got that the first time, but how? What happened?

[ voice ]

[scanningutterly]

The docs aren't sure yet.

The leading theory is that it was combined stress on his system.

[ voice ]

[timey_wimey]

And when you say "combined stress", you mean...?

[ voice ]

[scanningutterly]

I'm not authorized to disclose that.

[There's a definite pause.] My records indicate it should be public knowledge on this node. [By which he means, "go look through Orlando's other posts."]

[ voice ]

[timey_wimey]

Really, now? [ his voice drops to a mutter. ] Must've missed that...

[ raising it again, he forces a bit of cheerfulness into his voice. ] Well, I guess I'll be off to go look for what I missed, then. Thanks for your help, Beezle. Let us know if anything changes, yeah?

[ voice ]

[scanningutterly]

I'll do my best.

[lookstairs]

Hold on. Seriously? [Being too new to even know Orlando was sick.]

[voice]

[scanningutterly]

Seriously.

[voice]

[lookstairs]

What happened?

[voice]

[scanningutterly]

The docs don't have a consensus yet.

The most likely causes are combined stress to his system or Tangadore's Syndrome.

[voice]

[lookstairs]

Tangadore's Syndrome? I haven't heard of that one. What is it?

[voice]

[scanningutterly]

It's a recently-discovered one. Nobody's determined the cause, but it's put kids around the world in comas.

[voice]

[lookstairs]

That's...

It sounds like something out of a movie or something. Is anyone looking into a cure?

[voice]

[scanningutterly]

[No Riley it's out of doorstopping sci-fi books.]

There are researchers working on it.

[voice]

[lookstairs]

[So close!]

Are they close?

[voice]

[scanningutterly]

They haven't released anything definitive.

[voice]

[lookstairs]

Right. Could you let us know when they do?

[voice]

[scanningutterly]

I'll try to keep in touch.

[voice]

[lookstairs]

Ah...thanks, then.