<sub>Help pack the bags, Barton. Take down the tent city, Barton. Yeah, right. If they want to rebuild the pentagon every time we find something, they can tear it back down...

( whoever's talking, it's clear they are unaware that they have an audience. it's barely-discernible muttering, with some typing in the background. suddenly, it stops. )</sub>

Well. This is definitely new. But it does kinda explain why certain people can't seem to get off the computer, lately. I'd be more interested in this than watching rain fall, too.

_{( the voice laughs, at that, a chuckle that's warm but a little self-mocking. )}

So, right now, I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere, though people keep telling me the proper name is New Mexico. I was going to kill some time on Penny Arcade or something, but I guess this is just as good.

Inter-dimensional internet and Norse gods. I don't think I’m being paid enough for this.

But hey, I'll bite—what's the weirdest thing that you've seen, here?

Okay, boys and girls, I have a fun question for you. How do you tell your wife ex-wife girlfriend? partner  girlfriend that you might possibly be going blind? 

Man, this takes me back. I thought everything on the internet died after a few months but duckville is still limping along. Well, digitally kidnapping people, same thing, right? I know the drill. It's a little sick but I think I've actually missed this place.

So, who missed good ol’ Uncle Hawkeye? Wait, scratch that, who remembers Uncle Hawkeye? I'm willing to count secondhand legends at this point.

Just so everyone knows, Europe sucks. Not sucks like “hey, I’m kind of bored” but sucks like “you know, I’m starting to miss Iowa.” Everyone planning trips to Europe should be sure they have something to fend off very angry goats with, and a handy little book that includes every swear word you need to know. Trust me, you’ll use every word in that book.

Anyway, what I actually wanted to know is if anyone needs a temp. I’m willing to do anything at this point. Hell, I’ll clean gutters, I just can’t stand Romania anymore.

Europe is a lot bigger than it looks on a map. A lot bigger. So if you were going to hide out in Europe, where would you go? There has to be some mythical den of thieves that everyone but me knows about, right?

I have a trans-Atlantic flight that I need to stay awake for. Since the plane does most of the work, that leaves me with a few more hours to kill. This is where you all come in.

If you could have one wish, any wish at all, that had to help keep you happy for the rest of your life, what would it be?

I need to know if there's anyone here who can fix what's wrong with Clint. I don't know exactly what it is, but he doesn't remember the community or any of us - but that's not all. He doesn't remember things from his own world. Really basic things like making fun of Tony or being friends with Steve.

Please, I'll do anything, just help him. Please.

There's a lot of humans running around here, wonder why Magnus and his mutant thought police haven't busted in yet? Well, whatever. Big Brother is watching you, boys and girls. Good ol' Uncle Hawkeye nabbed this stupid handheld thing off a lackey and thought he should inform you. I'd say I'm sorry for stealing the mutie's account, but I don't really give a damn.

So, anyone got a good rebellion story? It'd be nice to know people aside from us are doing something.

[ooc: Hawkeye's back, but amnesia'd and under House of M influence.]

I don't want to give cause for alarm or anything, but... has anyone heard from Clint Barton recently? I mean recently as in "within the last three weeks." He's been... out of touch for a while. Maggie and I were getting a little concerned. I mean, missing him is one thing, but... for three weeks?

If any of you are from his world and had talked to him, or if you've even just heard from him, I'd like to know so I know not to worry so much.

Edit: Jack, do you mind taking Maggie and I to Clint's world? We want to look for him.

Bad day. Very Bad Day. My uniform’s thrashed and I’d kill for a nap as soon as the sky finishes falling. Or burning. Or exploding. Whatever it's doing right now, because I don't want to look. Let's try some escapism, shall we?

So, if you could plan the perfect day what would it include? Graphic detail is encouraged.

[ooc: Last post before House of M arc, info on what that means here. Pretend all late comments are backdated.]

Since I gather there are plenty of heroes, superheroes, and generally nice and good people around here. Answer me this:


Would killing all criminals make the world a better place?





...put some thought into it.

Okay, boys and girls, uncle Clint needs some cooperation. I need a world hop and I need one now. So, get the lead out and I'll pay you whatever you need. Also, note the lack of destination. That means you agree, I tell you, and you keep it to yourself, got it?

Alright, ladies and gents, I need a favor. Seeing as my travel agent doesn't cover cross-dimensional flights, we're going to need one of you to step up to the plate. Richard, master of long winded titles, and I need a face to face talk, so I need a lift over to wherever he calls home. Payment's not a problem as long as you take Visa. 

Yeah, I know this is probably the last place I should be asking, but fuck it, I'm bored.

I need a sparring partner. Fighting the same dozen or so guys from the guard gets boring after the first few times.

Oh, and preferably someone who's good at defending themselves, amateurs need not apply.

I took it upon myself to do a bit of community service today. You know, it really is the duty of us all to see to the generations of the future and those of the past, and not focus alone on our own days walking this dirt heap. chuckles softly, his eyes alive with malevolence

I went to visit an unwed mother that had recently been sent to a sanitarium in New England. She has been diagnosed with schizophrenia some years back and her parents believe that she has the devil in her. tssks softly Such a primitive notion, the devil.

The nurses were thrilled that her brother came such a distance to visit with little Angela. "She hasn't had a visitor in such a long time. This will be so very good for her!" throws back his head and laughs I'm nothing if not conscientious toward you meat puppets. grins smoothly So, I sat with her a while and we spoke about various things, though she stared out the window and said nothing for a good long while between topics.

I didn't do anything extravagant to set off her fears, nor did I intend for her screams to draw the attention of the orderlies. I certainly didn't mean to do this anywhere in the vicinity of the medical cart and the carelessly forgotten scalpel left atop it.

I only showed her my face; the briefest glimpse of what is. tssks again The minds of meat puppets are exceedingly fragile and it seems i forgot this in my time away. Clearly I will have to be more careful in the future. I can't be breaking all my toys when I've just gotten them; they aren't replaced as easily as I am accustomed to.

She was fighting off the orderlies in a most impressive manner when the frightened nurse asked me to return another day. I think I shall certainly take her up on this offer.

smiles smoothly, flashing teeth in an otherwise charming manner

Tell me, 'Ducklings', what community service would you offer yourself to?


[OOC: Anon post is ANON - Voice and icons are NOT recognizable as the Randall that has played with ya'll already. Replies will be voice and picture, but right now he's a talking wolf. :D :D Thanks for playing along with his happily twisted self and please add yourselves to the tags as you comment. :)]

How does a laptop “go to waste”? It doesn’t. It was performing a vital duty as a paperweight. You know where we’d be without paperweights? Picture absolute chaos, ladies and gentlemen, and there’s your answer. I’ve seen it, it’s not pretty. But to appease techno-psychopaths, I'm using the stupid computer and here I am. Ta da.

Right, me. I’m sure you’re all dying to hear about me at this point. Well folks, I’m Clint Barton, but you can just call me Clint. Ladies, you can all call me at home, I'm available at all hours. Uh...hell, I don't know what to say. Inquire within?