DDDD: THE FOURTH WALL BREAKS

[shinra-pwnsjoo.livejournal.com]

I will never listen to Ichigo again. I played as Cloud trying to stop me. I get funny, I name Cloud "Bitch" and Barret "Mr. T". The innuendo is breaks me into two. That was fucking trippy. SquareSoft better release it for PS3 so that I can oggle Tifa's breasts better see how badass I am. Not. I get THREE scenes. I come, I monologue (it was a good monologue), I die. And for some odd reason, instead of shooting them all, I beeline for Tifa. I'm telling you Mako Boobs have a gravitational force. THAT GAME IS SO PHALLIC.

Then you play as Cloud!Zack's flashback, the urge to not throw my controller when you have Sephiroth on your team is very hard. The Chocobos were annoying. Making Cloud learn Omnislash is even more annoying.

Now, Advent Children: I watched this with Ichigo's family which was ... funny. Isshin laughs when Sephiroth gets owned, Yuzu and Kairin squee over Denzel - Ichigo or "Kon" as he made himself known to be drools over Tifa (he will die), Yuffie ... and Vincent. I didn't bother to tell him that Vincent was a man.

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD: FREAKING ANIMATORS MADE IT SEEM THAT KADAJIROTH (Ichigo's sisters came up with that one) IS GOING TO RAPE ME.

Ichigo's sisters did this weird thing where they cling onto me really tightly when I jump from the building, and I get called "BADASS". Isshin cheered and said, "Attaboy." - I'm disturbed.

How do I survive Sister Ray?

I watch Tifa own Loz.

... then I made the mistake of playing Kingdom Hearts. Replace the word "Penis" everytime they say "keyblade" and it all makes sense.

So to the heart of the matter:

Vincent gets a spin-off game.
Reno and the Turks get a spin-off game.

... I get a three minute cameo.

Discuss.

Comments

[auric-avarice.livejournal.com]

Okay, but I still don't know what that book was for...

[shinra-pwnsjoo.livejournal.com]

... what book?

[auric-avarice.livejournal.com]

I dunno, I'm not sure what the fuck you're talking about.

[xfinal-heaven.livejournal.com]

*cameos in all spinoff games AND Kingdom Hearts II* Maybe if you made more friends, you'd be in the right place at the right time for plot-heavy game-making.

Btw; don't blame me for you thinking I'm sexy. I was terrified, makoboobs do NOT have a gravitational force. especially not one that pulls things that are scary or that i hate closer.

[shinra-pwnsjoo.livejournal.com]

But I'm apparently the anti-villian, anti-protagonist.

D: I beeline right FOR you. You don't even know who I am.

"Rufus ShinRa?"

"I heard he's never cried."

"... Oh shit."

[xfinal-heaven.livejournal.com]

...You are the anti-villain, anti-protagonist. Cloud and Sephiroth both hate you.

Just because I didn't recognize you at the time.... You know sexy when you see it, what can I say.

[xbook-loverx.livejournal.com]

Be grateful you don't turn into a demonic chicken. ;_;

[skullfuck-a-nun.livejournal.com]

Ah, you played it! Isn't it fun?

[shinra-pwnsjoo.livejournal.com]

DDDD: NO I FUCKING HATE FIGHTING JENOVA.

[skullfuck-a-nun.livejournal.com]

That is a tough fight. Just make Sera- I mean, Aeris heal every round, and use Limit Breaks right away.

[chaos-component.livejournal.com]

...I don't get it.

[skullfuck-a-nun.livejournal.com]

He's playing my game! Except it's the one from the other universe!

[shinra-pwnsjoo.livejournal.com]

... *sigh* Nevermind.

[shinra-pwnsjoo.livejournal.com]

My life is a game. So is yours. D:

[shinra-pwnsjoo.livejournal.com]

... Thanks?

[thesandpirate.livejournal.com]

How did YOU survive all that? ... I don't know, how did I survive Id chucking my ship at me?! I may have been in my Gear, but there's no way I could've survived THAT, and yet I did. How? Because I'm Prince Bartholomew fuckin' Fatima, that's why, and don't you forget it!

And really, HOW is it that after my ship sinks, we find another ship that just so happens to look exactly like MY SHIP? Let me tell you, that's no coincidence!

WHY is it that Solaris always knows our next move? Because the Gazel Ministry gather data on us through SAVE CUBES?! ... I'm not going to touch that.

And last but not least, Why do I look like Pip Bernadotte? *5, 4, 3, 2, 1, POOF* ... What was I talking about?

[shinra-pwnsjoo.livejournal.com]

I DON'T KNOW.

[angsty-ex-turk.livejournal.com]

So it's true then..

Wait, I get a spin-off game?

[orenjiberry.livejournal.com]

You watched the movie, with my family?

....How are my sisters doing?

[shinra-pwnsjoo.livejournal.com]

Your ENTIRE family.

... they're fine.

[teddybearnails.livejournal.com]

There are games? Who the hell do you play as? Some good-guy hero? I hate those kind of games.