The Internet is the worldwide, publicly accessible network of interconnected computer networks...

[sos-facepalm.livejournal.com]

Hello, everyone. My name is-- you know what? Forget it. Just call me Kyon. Everyone calls me that anyway.

I am what you would call an absolutely normal high school student. I go to an average public school, I have average grades, an average appearance and have average hobbies… sort of.
"Sort of"? Who am I trying to kid?

I suppose that, like any high school student, it is normal for me to take part in extracurricular activities. It’s there where things start getting annoyingly weird. Which is quite an understatement.

My only extracurricular activity, one that is very time-consuming, is my commitment to the SOS Brigade, a club started by the most eccentric girl I’ve ever met, Haruhi Suzumiya. It’s a club that’s…dedicated to finding and befriending aliens, time-travelers and espers.

…I am sadly, not joking.

Sigh. Things get very complicated after that.

[Locked from Haruhi]
Feel free to ask me in regards to the activities of the SOS Brigade, I mean, I don't mind venting out. Oh, and any real information has to remain unknown to Haruhi. You see, the SOS Brigade, it really is inhabited by aliens, time travelers and espers...
[Locked from Haruhi]

Anyway, greetings from the... SOS Brigade. It's nice to meet you all.

((ooc: Kyon's "thoughts" are usually readable to everyone. Even I don't understand it, but it ends up working that way. Apparently, people can hear whatever is convenient to them...))

Comments

[kurt-howell.livejournal.com]

It's great that you're trying to befriend them..! But I hope you'll try to befriend others, too...

My name is Kurt Howell. Very pleased to meet you.
Kyon is such a cute name. I think it suits you well. Do you mind if I call you Kyon-san..?

[sos-facepalm.livejournal.com]

Well, the internet is a vast place, I'll do what I can to meet a variety of people. Honestly, Haruhi's the one who is obsessed with those sorts of things, I usually just get dragged in to keep her out of trouble.

Though, I hate to admit it, the stuff we do is kind of fun... but it's really a huge annoyance.

K-Kyon-san...? Well, I suppose that works. How is a name like Kyon suiting of me?
It's nice to meet you as well. Should I call you Howell-san, then?

[kurt-howell.livejournal.com]

You don't have to if you don't want to... But I don't mind if you call me that.

I think it's great to meet new people, even if they aren't human... It's much better than being alone all day.

[sos-facepalm.livejournal.com]

Alright. Howell-san, it is, then.

Well, of course it is. Being alone would be pretty miserable. I'm actually very grateful to be surrounded by people most of the time.


Being alone is a very distressing feeling. Whenever I end up feeling alone, it's usually because Haruhi has distorted the world...

[kurt-howell.livejournal.com]

Ah... Well... I'm alone, but I've never been miserable... I guess I'm used to it though. I've been the only one taking care of the Varoja temple for several years...
I suppose I shouldn't say I was alone, because Ragsiel-sama is always there...
And Ragsiel-sama let me access this place so I could make some friends... So I'm very grateful for that.

[sos-facepalm.livejournal.com]

Uh... wow. That sounds... difficult. I can't imagine it.

You really can find anyone on the internet... I suppose I should play along.

Ragsiel-sama, huh? He sounds like a nice person, then.

[kurt-howell.livejournal.com]

I never thought about it until this group of adventurers passed through... I was used to being alone so it never occurred to me until people showed up and then left...

He's very kind..! But he isn't a person... Ragsiel-sama is the god of my temple. It seems different people on different worlds have all sorts of different gods, but I'm glad to have Ragsiel-sama... Other people have said their gods are dead or don't talk to them, or never give them assistance, and that seems so cold...

[godisagirl.livejournal.com]

Thanks to me your life has a purpose, huh?

And you know what I expect of you here, right?!

[sos-facepalm.livejournal.com]

This girl's ego is the size of Jupiter, I swear.

No, I don't know. Enlighten me, please.

[godisagirl.livejournal.com]

You have to spread the word about the SOS Brigade!

And watch out for a scary bear too.

[sos-facepalm.livejournal.com]

Ah. Yes, of course.

...What bear?

A bear... on a computer? Haruhi, you do know things like that just can't happen, right? It's not really a bear, it can't be.

[godisagirl.livejournal.com]

Good minion!

The bear that always talks about jail bait and..."loli"? What ever that is.

[sos-facepalm.livejournal.com]

Ah. That bear. Haruhi, you'll want to watch out for that one. I've heard about him and... well, just keep your distance.

I'm sure that bear thinks you're "moe." Which you no doubt are; all you have to do is tie your hair in a ponytail and keep your mouth shut and then you'd be perfect.

What's with me being a 'minion', huh? Shouldn't I have gotten a promotion by now?

How is it that Koizumi is vice-commander when I, the one who was with you when you created the club, am a minion?

[godisagirl.livejournal.com]

What have you heard? I guess he's pretty notorious and I wanna know why!

If I promoted you, who would do all the grunt work?

[Locked to Kyon]

[maraich]

You! You're the one who owes me big time! That crazy chick was going to go off on you, but she fell for it when I told her that you had told me about your SOS Brigade.
Apparently, saying "You mean that group that does stuff" was enough to fool her... Good thing she didn't ask me about specifics.
But still, I saved your behind!
...Oh, and I'm Maraich. Hello.

Re: [Locked to Kyon]

[sos-facepalm.livejournal.com]

Oh? Is that so? Well, she always goes off on me anyway, though I suppose I'm thankful either way.

It’s nice to meet you. If there’s anything I can do to repay you, go ahead and ask.

I’m not very good with computers, so it’s not like I can do much… why am I even offering something like this? Haruhi would vent her steam on me even if I built a shrine for her.

Re: [Locked to Kyon]

[maraich]

Yeah, she does seem like the type who's hard to live with. I'm still surprised she believed such a vague response.

On the other hand, she was taping the post-honeymoon fight Ichigo and Yazoo had and I wanted to get a copy of the tape from her, so she's ok with me.
Plus, if she's that gullible, I can just tell her someone is pregnant with an alien baby if they piss me off. That would be fun.

I guess I was just feeling nice at the time she joined and started yelling about her SOS Brigade. Maybe something along the lines of... "Gee, that guy probably hears an earful a lot."
Then again, she's upfront. I like that. Is she your girlfriend?

Re: [Locked to Kyon]

[sos-facepalm.livejournal.com]

She is incredibly hard to live with. I'm actually surprised at my own ability to deal with her.

...I have no idea what you're talking about, but Ichigo is a guy, please tell me Yazoo is a girl. Please.
If Haruhi wanted to tape it, then I do not want to get my hands on a tape like that. Why do I get the feeling she's going to make me edit it?

Haruhi...my girlfriend!? Her!? A girl like that? The only guy who could ever like a girl like that would have to be a masochist!

Then why am I still in the SOS Brigade if all it does is cause me pain? I... I'm not a masochist! No way!

Re: [Locked to Kyon]

[maraich]

They're both guys. They got hit with a lovebug that spread across DDD on Valentine's Day and completely forgot they hated each other. Haruhi caught them after the lovebug wore off and they realized they had gotten married.
I thought it was pretty funny, myself. You have a problem with two guys being together?

There's a surprising amount of masochists out there. But if you're not her boyfriend, do you want to go out for a cup of coffee later?

((And Maraich is going to call him out on it.))

Re: [Locked to Kyon]

[sos-facepalm.livejournal.com]

I see... What a nightmare.

I don't have a problem with two guys getting together, it's just not my thing.

Girls love that stuff, so I imagine Haruhi was ecstatic when she recorded those guys' torment.

...uhm, yeah. I'll have to pass on that. I'm more of a tea person, really.

Re: [Locked to Kyon]

[maraich]

I guess I'm not particularly attached to either so I didn't care.
It was a bit annoying when they kept using huge text, though.

It doesn't have to be coffee.

[orenjiberry.livejournal.com]

Hey. Name's Ichigo.

[sos-facepalm.livejournal.com]

That’s it!? What kind of an introduction is that??

Uh, hi. Name’s Kyon.

…is there a reason you made such a boring introduction?

[godisagirl.livejournal.com]

Hey there, how's the wife? *snicker*

[skullfuck-a-nun.livejournal.com]

Oh, you're another member?! I'm in the brigade too! It's totally nice to meet you! I'm Chloe!