dramadramaduck | (no subject)

(no subject)

You have no idea how hard it is to live in my equivalent of a supermarket (and don't ask me to explain that, because I won't bother). But since I'm a guest, I'm trying to be on my best behavior.

So I tried out a little experiment. Why not trade one addictive habit for another? Every time I thought about killing someone in the last few days, I'd smoke a cigarette. Today I realized I was up to three packs a day, and that it was probably time to quit.

Maybe I should try talking to her.

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Seriously? I mean, I knew it was bad, but geez.

I might be exaggerating a little.. but not that much.

You should definitely keep up with shaving, then.

Or maybe I should grow a beard.

That is a foolproof way of insuring that I never want to have sex with you again.

Not that I'm interested, but still. So hurtful.

You'd get over it.

No. My heart would never heal.

Okay, okay, I guess I could just... paper bag it.

... What?

Don't worry about it.

But now I'm a little concerned.

I'm sure you can figure it out if you google like "paper bag" + "sexual connotation" or something.

...

Jim. That is just rude.

I wouldn't actually do it, anyway.

Don't be a girl, it's not like I'd actually try and convince you to do it.

But, that's still good news.

Beards are hella manly, dude.

That they are.

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