dramadramaduck | [ video ]

First the weird cake and the second I look on the computer I stole, there's some sort of community? Whoever named it is probably an idiot, but you guys seem nice enough!

[ There's a girl sitting at a desk in a dormitory looking room with a bunk bed in the background, but there are only enough things in the room for one person. She leans back in her chair, lifting her feet and putting them up on the desk next to the laptop and setting a plate with a piece of the cake on her lap, but points at the screen with two chopsticks. ]

From the looks of some of these posts, you guys have too much personality to be some kind of NPC network. There's no way you guys are from this world or I would've noticed you around already. Identify yourselves so we can get the annoying introductions out of the way. I'm Yuri Nakamura. You can probably just go with Yuri though, considering--

[ There's a knock and the door and Yuri looks back. A quiet girl's voice comes from behind the door. "Nakamura-san, can you just open the door? I don't have anywhere to sleep tonight.." Yuri turns around, dropping her feet to the ground again, and yells through the door. ]

Find somewhere else to stay, you've had all day! I'm not staying in the same room as one of you fake people! I gave you your things and I already flushed your key, so get out of here!

[ She turns back to the computer, both eyes closed as she sighs, then opens one eye to peek at the screen. ]

Where was I? Oh! Just call me Yuri. Then, it's your turns!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[HE DOESNT THINK OF IT] Oh nice! Seriously, thanks again!

You're welcome~ So, what do you do when you're not attempting to kill off witches?

Uh what do I do? Mmm...whatever other normal people do I guess. Go to school, hang out with friends- I only go to these family conferences about once a year. And this was the first one I've been to in six years, and look what happens as soon as I come back.

No job or anything? Hobbies? You sound almost cursed.

Ugh...heh- I guess when you put it that way, I sure as hell am cursed! Hobbies? Chasing around women- that's about it. Ihihi~!

So you really are just some kind of pervert when you're not busy?

I can't help it! I'm drawn to women! It's like they have some kind of ...weird hold on me-! It's a weakness, not a strength!

Don't look at me like that!

It's breasts. Once women grow them guys' brains start malfunctioning. Some worse than others!

[Nods enthusiastically!!] It's that, it's just that!! Once their chests develop, my heart starts racing and I don't know what to do with my self! Uuuoooogghh! It's useless! It's all useless!!

So if I start taking off my shirt I can get you to do whatever I want?

Wh-....ah....wh...

[K WHAT? He gulps]

Y-you wouldn't! You can't! You can't just start taking your damn clothes off! Look I'm not saying I would complain but-....jeez, wait for the right person before doing something like that!

[ She laughs again. ] I told you already, I'm dead it's not like I'm going to have a chance to fall in love! I've got more important things to do than that anyway.

Besides, even if I was, you're not my type.

[Fakes being wounded!] Guh! M'lady that's too cruel! What would I have to do, to be your type? ...Ah- what is your type, might I ask?

[But then he looks away from the camera and smiles bitterly] But no really...that kinda hurts my heart a little when you say you'll never have a chance to fall in love. I think that-...ah...everyone should be able to experience it. I-I hear it's an amazing thing, right? If I ever fall in love, I'll treat that women like she's the only one in the world. Kinda like...she is my world- you know? [Oh shit he's saying embarrassing things again]

At what point did you stop getting that I'm dead? Life is already gone, I'm stuck in limbo just fighting disappearing because God said I should. I don't care about romance.

You may be dead, but it's not like you're just a ghost floating around right? Do you have other people there in limbo with you?

Don't worry Yuri-san! I'll be your love adviser! [Please- he could use more help than her]

Right now? It's pretty empty right now, I'm the only real one here that I know about.

Don't want it. Especially from some guy who thinks with his dick.

....O-oh, that's kinda....depressing when I think about it. If only I could, I would jump over there and be with you in a heartbeat!

C...come on don't be so mean! I'm offering this seriously! ...And I do not only think with my dick! I just told you my honest feelings before, that came straight from my heart! My heart! I may say vulgar things, but I'm really a nice guy!

Necrophiliac.

I know, that's why I'm still talking with you~ [ She's smiling, and she's definitely got a playful tone. Yuri's definitely enjoying teasing him. ]

Well- if it means anything...you're the most beautiful dead girl I've ever seen~! Ihihi!

...Ah....aaahh! Do my ears deceive me?! Did I make another friend on this community?! [HE GETS UP AND PRANCES AROUND]

Do you not make a lot of friends or what? Ahh, did I just pick up a loser?

[Okay he stops dancing around and comes back] Oh no oh no! I have tons of friends, mostly girls you see. But after being put through that shit on Rokkenjima, and then this community popping up- I haven't had time to sit down and make friends properly. I've made a few though! You're one of them!

Are they actual friends or are they girls who you flirted with until they liked you? Because those don't really count as friends, they count as girls stupid enough to be wooed by a playboy's tricks.

....Heh- you catch on quickly. Alright, when I wasn't on this island I may have fooled around with girls here and there.
But on here- I need some serious back up in my life. I'm at a pretty vulnerable time!

Well it's a good thing I'm not going to fall for you then, huh?

Uuooooggghh! Stop being so cruel Yuri-saaaann!! Come on come on! What's a little fling?! Just a small one?!

[ video ]

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